Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 19

Peeta

"Our love will see us through these dark, dark days until it lights the way back home." - The Punch Brothers

The doctor who injected her runs out of the room to yell for more help. Finnick and I lift an unconscious Katniss up onto the hospital bed. The doctors push us aside before beginning to work on her. They don't bother to make us leave, though. Finnick has his head in his hands. I watch as a nurse crouches to the ground by a large pool of blood from Katniss's leg.

"She's lost a good amount of blood!" She calls out.
"Doctor Stone? What do you think we should do?" She asks.
The doctor doesn't even look up.
"A blood transfusions is most definitely necessary. We can make that happen after we make sure her leg doesn't need more operations." He says.

More people arrive. Prim, Mrs. Everdeen, and Haymitch enter the room. One of the nurses drops what she's doing.
"Oh my goodness, how many of there are you in here?" She asks, "It's necessary that some of you need to leave. This girl's in dire condition! We can't have so many of you in here. One of you can stay, but no more."

We all look at each other. It's obvious that it should be me or Prim. I vote Prim, because she could help the doctors. Everyone else agrees.

We send Prim back in. The door shuts behind her. We are shut out from Katniss and Prim, left to wait.

So that is just what we do. Eventually, an attendant comes and tells us that it's time for our Evening Meal in the dining hall. We all go our separate ways, not wanting to talk or be talked to.
--

When I get to the Dining Hall, most seats are filled. There's one next to Gale, and that's about it. So, I walk over.
"Can I sit?" I ask.
He just looks up at me. He swallows his food.
"Sure." He says, trying to act as if my presence makes no difference to him.

I eat in relative silence until I can find something to say.
"She's in Intensive Care, again..." I say. I think he'd like to know that.
"I was told she was just on Suicide Watch." He says, blankly.
"She was," I explain, "But now she's in Intensive Care."

"Oh, great." He says sarcastically.
"What for?"
"She was having a relapse of flashbacks. Her leg was nowhere near better, so when she fell on the ground she started losing blood like crazy." I tell him.

"And why did she have flashbacks? Was it you?" He asks, suspiciously.

"No! It was not me." I say, defensively.
I can't believe he would think I caused it.
"And how do you know that? Whenever you're with her, you're always kissing her or something. Do you realize that maybe she doesn't love you the same way, now? How do you know she's not acting, like she did in the first games and in the Quell? What if she doesn't feel comfortable with you anymore?" He asks, irritated.

I shake my head. I can't believe he's doing this. My heart pounds, furiously.
"Gale, I'm not having this conversation with you." I say, as calmly as possible.

He doesn't say anything. I think the conversation ended, but I'm not sure.
Then he speaks again.
"You love her?" He asks, coldly.
"Yeah. I do." I answer, confidently.
"Well, I love her too." He says.
"I know." Is all I answer with.
"How will she choose?" He asks me, as if I know. As if anyone knows.

"Gale, I don't think you quite understand her circumstances. The absolute last thing she'll be thinking of is who she'll choose to love. She needs to focus on getting better. She's tried to kill herself twice. She's got PTSD. She was tortured, Gale. She doesn't know real from not real. She's almost died twice. She's trying to fight off demons, Gale. She won't be choosing anytime soon." I explain to him.

He takes a deep breath. He gets up, but before he walks away, he says one last thing:
"Well, when she does choose, it's going to me, Peeta." He says, coldly.

And with that, he leaves.
--
It must be midnight, maybe even past then. But I can't sleep, there's no use trying. I wander around the halls, silently so I don't get caught. I find myself at the hospital. Luckily, Prim's at the front desk. She allows me to sneak into Katniss's room for a while.

I pull up the chair from the corner. I sit next to her bed, watching her sleep. She's pale... Too pale to be in good health. Prim silently manifests in the room.
"She looks really sick, doesn't she?" She says, quietly.
I look up.
"Yeah. She does." I reply, sadly.
"They're doing the blood transfusion tomorrow, early in the morning. I think you should be here. She'll be awake for it." She says to me.
"Alright," I say.
"Hey, Prim? Can I talk to you? I have something I just really need to say." I tell her.
She pulls up a chair, next to mine.
"Yeah," she says. She smiles, "go ahead."
I take a deep breath.
"I miss the old Katniss. God, I miss her so much. I would do anything to be in her place right now." I say, "I wish it could go back to how it was in the Quell. It was perfect then, but it was ruined by Snow. We have to kill him. I will never get the old Katniss back, will we?" I say. She doesn't answer. It's okay though, I wouldn't know what to say either.

I then direct my words at Katniss, although she's asleep.
"Katniss, I love you. I know you're in there, for real. I know you're still in there, deep down. Keep fighting, Katniss. I know you can beat this. Don't let Snow take you from me. I love you. I will always love you, Katniss. Please, Katniss. Don't let him take you from me. Keep fighting. I'm here waiting for you. I love you, Katniss. I love you so damn much." I say, quietly to her.

Prim eventually says goodbye to me and returns to the desk.

I fall asleep holding Katniss's warm, fragile hand. My head rests on her bed. When I sleep, I dream. I dream of the time on the Beach, in the cave, on the victory tour... I dream of all our time together. When I wake up, I'm almost sad. I miss all those times.

I miss the old Katniss more than anything in the world.