Immortally Mine (Larry)

Chapter Twenty One

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That's when it was time for our performance. The performance that could lead us to the finals. The winning spot. I could hear every single heartbeat in the room, at the judges panel, in the audience, right in my ears.

I stood by Louis before the curtains went up. He blew me a kiss. I smiled. Niall looked like he was about to explode. Liam tried to look more confident than he actually was. We were all terrified.

I tried not to focus on our chance of losing; Louis had told me that we wouldn't win the XFactor, which probably still applied, as much as I wanted the thought to disappear. The only thing we could do is go out there and sing, dance, and live like we didn't know anything. Like everything was okay.

I'd never realized how much it sucked to pretend until now. My entire life had become me just pretending. Pretending I was normal, pretending I was clueless, pretending I wasn't in love.

Liam started off the song just as he did in the very beginning of One Direction. I tried to keep the song on my mind but my entire body was so tense that my brain was just blank, yet scattered at the same time.

Before I knew it, it was my solo. Right as the very first sound, the first little note that came out of me I began crying. I cried because I was so passionate. I was determined. I put everything I had into my voice, it spread through the arena and echoed off the walls and consumed the attention of each person sitting before us.

Niall and Louis sounded angelic behind me, perfecting our performance and creating marks in the judges minds and the audiences mind, we were going to be remembered, winners or losers, and I think we all knew that.

We were all crying. We were all thinking the same thing, we were all feeling the same thing. We were happy. We knew that we belonged with each other, singing with each other.

The crowd screamed and cheered and clapped and cried. I saw my mum and my sister, both of them quite emotional and on their feet, praising me proudly. I smiled.

What a rush. I breathed quickly and shortly, trying to catch my breath while smiling from ear to ear, thinking that it couldn't get anymore flawless than this. My boys stood beside me. I grabbed Louis hand. Louis grabbed Niall's, and Niall grabbed Liam's. We raised them up and then bowed, struck by the rush and feeling proud of ourselves and one another.

But it wasn't good enough.

We stood on the edge that same night, Simon behind us, the other two competing acts to our sides, Matt and Rebecca.

First they called Matt's name, he was going through. I squeezed Lou's hand and I cried and I prayed but next thing I know, they call Rebecca's name instead of ours.

I let go of Louis' hand. I felt like I was drowning. I felt like everything that I had ever hoped for had suddenly disappeared bean watch my feet and I had nothing, nothing at all.

My muscles hurt and my stomach hurt and my head hurt and my heart hurt. Everything that could've been mine, every dream and every thought was simply crushed in so very little time.

Liam said a few things and Niall said a few things, I wasn't really paying attention, my ears were ringing and my head was throbbing in pain from the tears.

I started breathing harder and harder, the anxiousness inside of me was seeping out and I could handle myself much longer. I felt my face get warmer and my hair grow longer. I curled my hands into fists, trying to calm myself down but I couldn't.

"Haz. Hazza, calm down." Louis whispers to me. "Your eyes are gold, everyone can see." He is speaking through tears, yet he's talking very harshly and rushed.