AJR-Panic Attacks

Austin- 2 (Crash)

Austins POV

"Good show tonight!" I tell Adam as I walk past him with my stuff in my hands. He nods an acknowledgment before going back to taking off his shoes from the show. I continue my walk to the bus so I can edit all the photos and videos from tonight. I get outside the venue, and realize how freaking cold it is. Just make it to the bus, it's warmer enough in there. Not that the bus is actually warm, but it's warmer than out here. I step into the bus and take a deep breath of warmth. I make my way back to my "edit spot" or so I've called it, in the back lounge. I always sit on the couch, although sometimes different spots. Today I felt like the corner was perfect. I grab out my laptop, grab out my SD card, grab all the cables and cords and extra things and most importantly, my headphones and start editing. I put on anything other than AJR, because why should they, of all people, be on my top 5 artists on Spotify at the end of the year, and I get to work. I'm so involved in editing that I completely disregard Chris and Ezra coming in and fooling around for a bit before leaving to go to bed. I think someone else comes in and sits down across from me, but all of a sudden Lightroom freezes and glitches and.... crashes. I saw an error screen before it closed, and that just makes me more worried. I sit up from my seemingly comfortable position and mumble "no" before reopening Lightroom in hopes that my hour of work is somehow saved.

RYANS POV

I walked into the back lounge to decompress after the show. I notice Austin sitting on the couch, editing the photos from tonight. He does such a great job every night. It's like he was made for this job. I sit down across from him and go on my phone to relax. I was mostly texting Cat, although also looking at Twitter and Instagram about the show. I was looking at some pretty cool fan art, (by @twoocat, obviously) when I get distracted by a mumble of a "no". I look up from my phone to see Austin, as tense as a a board, staring like a dart at his computer.

"Hey Austin, you good?" I ask out of a mix of concern and confusion. He doesn't answer. Like no acknowledgement of what I said.

"No no no no no no no!!" He starts, freaking out about whatever is going on.

"What's wrong?" I ask again. No answer. All of a sudden he slams his computer closed, throwing it beside him on the couch. He looks defeated. He runs his hands through his hair in mostly anger, pulling off his headphones in the process. He leans forward to put his elbows on his knees and staring off into nothingness. I stare at him a little while before noticing his breathing speeding up. He moves his hand from his face to his heart, no doubt feeling how rapid it's getting. I stand up and make my way over to him, being extremely careful not to startle him or make him more anxious.

"Hey." I start off, sitting beside him. I pull one of my legs up to sit on it, resting one of my hands on Austin's back. He flinches at first, probably not realizing he had company.
"You ok?" I ask, already knowing the answer. He shakes his head twice before his breathing gets even worse.

"Dude, you're gonna be fine." I state, trying to keep him calm.

"N-no I- I- I'm having a heart attack." He stumbles out.

Wait, a heart attack? I think to myself. It can't be.

"Hey, Austin, you're fine." I say, trying to prove it to myself, as well as him. He just shakes his head.
"What can I do to help?" I offer.

"T-turn off the- the lights." He mumbles.

"Of course! Yeah, let's do that." I reach over to the light switch and turn off the lights, engulfing us in darkness.
"What else?" I ask.

"I- I can't breathe." He mutters.

"Hey, Austin, yes you can. Just take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth." I instruct.

"It's not working!" He cries. I could hear the tears and shakiness in his voice.

"Listen to me-" I start, getting more worried about him. "You are just fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. I'm right here, ok? And I'm not leaving until you get better. You're doing good, I promise. Whatever is going on, you will work through it; you always do! You're doing good bud."

"I... can't... b-breathe!" He wheezes out.

"Ok. Breathe with me. We'll do it together, ok? Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth." I breathe with him, but after half a breath, he can't do it and goes back to hyperventilating.

"Ry, it's not working!" He wheezes.

"Ok, let's just... try again. I promise this will end. You're gonna be just fine. I'm right here, and I'm not gonna leave. You're gonna be just fine Austin. Let's try again together, ready? Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth." He tries it again, but ends up falling into my shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry!!" He starts crying and wheezing, it made me sad. I wrap my arms around him in a hug, slowly rubbing his back a bit.

"You're good bud, you're ok." I whisper, trying to calm him back down.
"Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth." I try it once again, hoping it'll finally work. He thankfully took a deep breath in, although went back to hyperventilating before I say it again.
"Good job. Keep going. In through your nose, out through your mouth." If I do it with him, he follows. As soon as I would say something, he goes back to wheezing for a second before breathing with me again. Breath after breath, he slowly gets better and better, his breathing slowing down and his heart rate decreasing. He pulls away from me, not meeting my eyes. I keep my hand on his shoulder as I ask,

"You ok?" Even in the darkness I can see him nod.

"Thank you." He mumbles.

"Of course! Is your heart rate slowing down?" I question, putting my hand up to his chest to feel that it is in fact slowing down. He nods as well, heaving a pretty big sigh.
"If I may ask, what happened?" I inquire.

"Well..." he starts. "I was editing, and then all of a sudden Lightroom crashed and nothing saved. It stressed me out, as I really want to do well for you guys and make sure all the pictures are good enough and done so you guys don't...." he goes silent after that.

"So we don't what?" I question.

"Get mad at me." He whispers.

"Why would we ever be mad at you?" I ask. "Dude, you do such a good job every night! You're consistent, thorough, not to mention talented, but most of all, you're our friend. We would never be mad at you for doing your job Austin."

"I know. I'm sorry for overreacting." He mumbles.

"Don't be sorry. It's ok to not be ok sometimes, ok?" He smiles for a second.

"Thanks Ry." He smiles.

"Anytime. Now, it is getting late, I should get to bed. You can keep editing, but just know that we aren't expecting you to have the photos done every day. You can go to bed too, get some sleep. It's your choice, but whatever you do, you've got this, ok?" He nods.

"Thanks. Night."

"Goodnight." I stand up and make my way to my bunk as quietly as possible as to not wake anyone else up.

(A/N- thank you to @tfyftyf for the inspiration for this story!! If any you have any ideas, let me know! I'm always up for good inspiration.)