AJR-Panic Attacks

Austin- 3 (Bus)

AUSTINS POV

"Hey Austin, we're going out to eat, wanna come with us?" Ryan asks, getting my attention from looking at my phone.

"No thanks, I have a lot of editing to do."

"Alright, have fun." Everyone leaves. Ezra, Ryan, Jack, Adam, Chris, even the bus driver, Gerry. I've felt pretty left out the last few days. It seems like they just spend more time together than I do, as I'm usually editing. I grab my computer from my backpack and plug in my SD card.

*ERROR*

What? This SD card was working fine yesterday. I really hope it still works, otherwise all of the footage from today's off day is gone. It was a fun day today, we all went to an escape room. Of course, I was filming, not bonding with the crew. I remember that I switched cameras at one point, which means I switched SD cards. I grab out the other SD card and just hope that this one will work. It takes a bit to get the pictures and videos downloaded, but they finally get onto my computer. I decide to start with the videos, as that's the majority of what I captured today. I open up my editing software, dragging in the videos to edit. It ends up taking forever, and by the end, none of the videos have imported.

Come on... I thought. Just my luck. Of course nothing is working.

I try to import them one last time, trying 2 videos instead of the full 32. I watch the loading bar more closely when... it stops. I slam my computer shut. Today has not been my day. I throw my computer beside me on the couch. I lean over, putting my elbows on my knees. I hold my face with my hands, my vision starting to blur away and my hands starting to shake.

No no no no nononono! I think. Not this. Not here. Not now.

I can already feel that this is gonna be a bad one.
Just breathe. Slow down before it gets worse. Way worse.

My breathing starts accelerating. Along with it, my heart rate booms throughout my chest, my head, my entire body. In one of my ears, I hear a high-pitched noise, coming from no where. My hands start shaking even more. My leg starts bouncing up and down to what seems like the beat of my heart.

Breathe. That's all you gotta do. Breathe so this doesn't get out of control. Breathe, so you don't pass out.

But it's getting harder. With every passing breath I get worse. My head starts aching, my stomach turning in knots.
I start crying.
Mostly out of panic, but also out of fear.

What if I lose the photos? What if I lose the videos? What if I lose my job? What if... I lose my friends?

My mind won't stop. I just want to curl into a ball and wait for it to pass.

But will it? Will it ever end? It has in the past but, what if this is when it doesn't.

In tears, I start rubbing my arms with my hands.

"Make it end, please! Please just make it stop!"

I curl into a ball. Rocking back and forth, stroking my arms, I try to breathe in. Just once. It doesn't work.

Come on. Just breathe! You just have to breathe in once. That's it.

I take a wheezing breath in. And a wheezing breath out. A wheezing breath in, a wheezing breath out. A wheezing deep breath in, a wheezing deep breath out.

There ya go.

Another few deep wheezing breaths in. Another few deep wheezing breaths out. I was just about there, when I hear voices outside the bus.