Tried With Fire - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 14

Three significant things happened the following weekend:

1. Hunter and I went to speak to a solicitor about our upcoming court hearing (in which Hunter's parents were hoping to rip our child from her home),

2. Hunter and I hosted a game night for our family and friends, and

3. Grandma died.

I hadn't slept at all the Friday night, petrified by the daunting idea of going to speak to a legal advisor on how to keep my own child in my care. What if he took Katherine and Phil's side? What if he told me I had no chance of winning? Would he make Hunter hate me for bringing this crap down on the both of us?

So, early on the Saturday morning, I rang my mother for emotional support. My husband was sleeping away beside me, typically tranquil and untethered. I, once bored of watching him, got up, wrapped my robe around me in case I bumped into Olivia, and crept downstairs. As I did, I had a lightning flashback of the night Hunter's parents had shown up to deliver their threats. It was only a few days ago and yet, all the overthinking I had done and events that had happened since made it feel like four years ago.

'Ruth?'
'Mama!' I said when she finally answered her phone.
'Ruth, holy Mary had better have just appeared to you or I will send you to her for waking me up this early! What time is it?'
'Six.' I sighed apologetically. 'I'm sorry, Mama. I-I couldn't sleep.'
'Why not?'
'I, I...'
'Bambina, I love you and all, but please be quick so I can go back to bed. It's a Saturday!'
'I'm sorry I disturbed you, Mama.' I said. 'But, but something's happening to me and Hunter that I, I think you should know about.'
'Are we just telling the whole world now? Why not just post it on your blog already - or write it in your next Agony Aunt column!?'
'Oh.' Mama turned grave. 'That sounds serious. What is it, Ruth?'
'It's, it's, it's, oh, Mama, I don't know if I should tell you. Hunter doesn't want it to be a big deal within the family. You know what he's like - he can never admit he's in trouble.'
'Is he in trouble?' Mama asked. 'Don't tell me he's in debt again.'
'No, no.' I scoffed.
'If only money was our biggest problem!'
'He paid that off after selling some paintings, lucky sod.'
'Così è la vita. Life is easy for some.'
'Well not right now.' I muttered. 'We're both in trouble, Mama.'
'What? How? Ruth, if it's something to do with money -'
'It's got nothing to do with money, Mama.' I said impatiently. 'Look, er, I'm sorry. I haven't slept.'
'Ruth, bambina, are you eating enough because that can affect your sleep -'
'I am. I swear.' I lied.
                Truthfully, George hadn't fed us yesterday before going to bed and I had felt too drained to once I came back to my body. 'I think it's just, with everything that's happened lately -'
'And what exactly has happened, Ruth?'
               I hesitated, so Mama asked again.
'It, it's, it's Kath-' My stammering was cut off by another incoming call. 'Oh, Mama, I've got someone else ringing me. Can I call you back in a bit?'
'You woke me up and now you're leaving me?' Mama grumbled. 'Fine. But you make sure you do call me back later, because I want to know what mysterious thing has happened that's got you and Hunter so stressed out.'
               I forced a smile that nobody saw and said,
'Alright Mama, I will. Thank you.'
'Goodbye, bambina.'

I quickly accepted the next call, which was from a number I didn't recognise.
'Hello?' I asked nervously. I always get nervous when strangers call me. It's not like they can hurt me remotely, but I still sweat at the very thought of answering.
'Hello? Ruth?'
'Who is this?'
'It's Ethan. Ethan Smith.'
'Ethan? Oh! Ethan. You know it's six in the morning, right? And how did you get my number?' I asked, agitated. I glanced over my shoulder to check I was alone and pattered into the kitchen.
               'I'm sorry if I woke you up.' Ethan said.
'No, no. I was up already.'
'Good. I just want to speak to you before my day gets busy - I'm on my way to work now.'
'Blimey.' I said. 'No weekends for psychiatrists, hey.'
'You got that right.' Dr Smith laughed. Then there was a pause, because I didn't know why his voice was in my phone at six o'clock on a Saturday morning, and apparently, neither did he.
               'So what can I do for you, Ethan?' I asked.
'Ah, right. Well, as I said I'm on my way to work, and I...I don't want to eat breakfast alone.' I held my breath as he spoke. 'Would you join me?'
'I, I - it's a Saturday.' I exhaled tentatively. It was so strange, having a man ask me to accompany him like that - he knew I had a husband, he knew I had a daughter, and he knew I had DID. What did he want to hang out with me for?
'This is weird. He's very keen, and way too forward. I don't like it.'
'He's hitting on a married woman. He's scum. Hang up the phone, Ruth.'
'Yeah, just hang up! Don't indulge him any longer - he clearly wants to get you naked - and probably dump your remains in a ditch afterwards.'
               My head spinning, I put my ear back to the phone and listened as Ethan explained himself.
               'I know it's the weekend, Ruth. I'm sorry to bother you. I just, I missed you, I suppose.'
'Why?' I couldn't help but ask. 'I've got a family, Ethan. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression I was interested in anything more than a working relationship with you. If we can't be professionals, then I shouldn't talk to you again.'
'No, no, Ruth, I'm sorry,' Ethan said quickly, 'I, I - oh man, I've totally misled you here. Ruth, I am not trying to date you. I'm sorry if I gave you such an impression! I simply wanted your company this morning.'
'Why mine?'
'Because you're fascinating!' Ethan laughed as if it was obvious. 'I've spent my entire career working with people with conditions like yours, and yet, you are completely unlike anyone I've met. You're, you're well adjusted, and relaxed and sociable - I like talking to you, because you give me hope for my patients.'
'Oh.' I said. Suddenly I felt like such a fool.
               'Don't buy that crap!' Julie roared. 'He's lying! He's feeding you compliments so you let your guard down, and then he'll pounce on you. Don't fall for his mind games, Ruth. Don't waste another minute on this dog.'
'I fink he's nice, Mummy!' Emilia said sweetly. 'He talks funny.'
'I fink he's old. And confident. I like him.' (Hailey's contribution.)
'Why are all these guys hitting on you recently, Ruth? First Dr Smith, then those guys at Hunter's work - and Alastair -'
'Ohh is he the hot, dark haired bloke with the narrow eyes and high cheekbones? I like him. I really like him.'
'Pipe down, Julie! Ethan's talking again!'
               'Ruth? Are you still there?'
'Y-Yeah, I'm here.' I sighed, clenching my fists in humiliated confusion. 'Look, er, Ethan, I'm not comfortable talking with you like this.'
'I meant no disrespect.'
'Alright. Well, my husband just woke up so I'd better go, but I, I guess, I'll speak to you later.'
'Okay.' Ethan said disappointedly. 'Goodbye.'
'Verdammt, Ruth. You've got a lot to tell Hunter about. Speaking of, have you consulted your doctor yet? When you go, tell her about your sleepless nights.' Fischer advised. I just nodded resignedly, and left my phone on the kitchen island. I felt too drained to phone Mama back now, selfish though it was.
               I was just turning to sit down at the island with a freshly made cup of tea, when a dark shadow in the doorway scared me half to death. Some tea split out of my mug and onto the floor by the stool I was attempting to climb, when I yelped.
'Sorry, amore, I didn't mean to scare you.' Hunter said groggily, stepping into the room with crazy hair and a bare chest. 'I thought I could hear you talking to someone. What are you doing up so early? It's a Saturday!'
'I, I didn't sleep.' I told him, catching my breath and returning the hug he offered me.
'Why not? Are you nervous about speaking to the solicitor?'
'Of course I am. Look, Hunter, I'm sorry I woke you up - just go back to sleep, before Olivia -'
'I'll only go back to bed if you come with me.' he said firmly. He looked me in the eyes and sighed. 'You look tired again. Ruth, you need to sleep. You'll make yourself ill if you keep staying up all -'
'I'm fine, Hunter.' I lied. 'Honestly, I'm fine.'
'Ruth, I know you too well to believe you are fine right now. Did you forget we've nearly been together ten years?'
'Best ten years of my life.' I smiled, hoping my act would hold. It didn't.
'And yet here we are, with you getting an average of one night's sleep a week. What's keeping you up, Ruth? Seriously.' Hunter stroked some hair behind my ear and searched my face.
               Retrospectively, I realise that that was the perfect opportunity to tell my husband about our pregnancy. Perhaps it was the reason for my sleepless nights the week before: perhaps my subconscious knew I was late for my period, and that something wasn't quite normal? Or perhaps I was just Ruth Daniella Brookes - a woman with eleven personalities and thus prone to sleepless nights, delusions, periods of amnesia and a cramping sense of worthlessness.
               'I, I,'
'Tell him about your bun in the oven! NOW!'
'Just get the impending, intimate heart to heart over with. Tell him, sex him and get on with your day already!'
'He ought to know he's got another baby on the way, Ruth. You know that.'
'I, I, I'm stressed.' was all I could force out.
'About what?' Hunter asked me tenderly. I sighed and glanced up into his soft eyes. He was so attractive to me in that instant, tired though I was, that I put my arms around his neck and gestured for him to pick me up. He did. Then he rested his forehead against mine. 'Ruth, talk to me. Is work stressing you out? Is it me, or Liv, or -'
               I cut him off with a kiss. 'Ruth, come on. Talk to me.' I kissed him again. He smiled. 'Alright, don't talk to me.' he said. 'But, amore mio, let me say that we are going to go to the solicitor's today together. Alright? You won't be alone. I'll be right there next to you. And anyway, I'm sure he'll just tell us that my parents have no chance of winning and this will all be over.'
'And if he tells us we'll lose?' I asked sadly. Hunter sighed.
'He won't. Ruth, my parents have seen Olivia maybe three or four times since she was born! They can't win. They just can't.'
'But what if -'
               This time Hunter cut me off with a good old smooch. His lips pressed roughly against mine, his hands held me up tightly, and his tongue edged into my mouth in a way that made me feel oh so warm...
               'I love you, Ruth.' he whispered, when we eventually parted. I stroked his hair back. 'Now switch off that brain of yours and come back to bed.'
'I love you.' I said, keeping myself wrapped around him as he turned towards the doorway. 'But I'm still scared.'
'Then I will cuddle you and kiss you and whisper in your ear until you're not.' Hunter said resolutely, creeping up the stairs with me, and holding his breath when we passed Olivia's door.