Tried With Fire - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 29

'You're such a big girl now, Olivia.' I told my daughter when we hugged goodbye for the day. My tears and shakes were on a short hiatus, which I used to see her off. 'Thank you for being so good for Mummy this morning. I, I'll feel better soon.'
'It's okay, Mummy.' Olivia replied in her sweet, sincere voice. 'I hope you feel better soon. What's for dinner later?'
'We'll think about dinner at dinner time.' The fake smile was aching my face. 'Have a good day at school, bambina.'
'Bye bye Mummy. I love you.'
'I love you too.'
'Bye Daddy!'
'Bye, sweetheart.' Hunter smiled from beside me. He kissed our daughter and the pair of us waved her and Mama off.
               'Ruth.' Hunter then murmured, his voice as gentle and revitalising as a breeze on a hot day. I had shut the front door but was still staring at it, massaging my hands. 'Should I call the doctor now?'
'Don't you wanna be alone with me?' Hailey appeared and replied for me.
'Hailey?'
'Every time I see you, youse aged more.' she snickered. 'I would hate to get older. Seems depressing.'
'Not all of us can stay fourteen forever.' Hunter grumbled, turning away from the alter and leaving to put the kettle on.
               'So how's it going mate? You winnin'?'
'No, obviously not.' Hunter said. 'Me and Ruth just lost a baby.'
'From what I hears you're about to lose the other one too.'
'Don't mock me, Hailey. I'm not in the mood for this right now.'
'Fair dos. I'll try and be reasonable for once. Can't be that 'ard now can it, if Ruth can do it.'
'Speaking of, can I have Ruth back now?'
'Depends.' Hailey shrugged. 'Does you want her back cuz ya love 'er, or cuz you doesn't like me much? Or cuz you need to talk about stuff?'
'All three.' Hunter muttered. 'So please send her back.'
               Hailey laughed.
'Oh Hun'er. You've been married to the girl for nearly seven years and you still don't have a clue, do you.'
'What are you talking about? Ruth is sad and I want to help her! Just let me talk to her. Please.'
'Do you really think I'm stopping you because I like being in Ruth's short, weird body with her scarred arm and legs and blood spurting out of her vagina right now!? Hell no! But you know that's not how DID works, dimwit.' Hailey snapped. 'Al'ers aren't like a revolving door that can be turned whenever you wants to show someone new. We're not a tap you can turn on and off. I'm here now, because I was sent here by someone, and I'll stay here until I get called back again. Besides, it's not like I is fighting your precious Ruth off. She's in pain right now - she don't want to come back, even if she could. She don't wanna talk about it. ...I'll tell ya what though - she does want to smash somming. Or burn somming. She basically wants to do what Blaze or me would do, but without being Blaze or me. She wants to go lash out for a bit without everyone thinking she's relapsing, or sending 'er back to a loony bin.'
               Hunter paused for a while, digesting every word Hailey had spoken. She never spoke like this; she never helped me! She had never understood me either - or so I thought. Perhaps she really is more emotionally involved in my life than her macho exterior had ever let on.
               'Hailey.' Hunter eventually sighed. He sat down at the kitchen island, resting his head in his hands. 'You're right. You're actually right. I've put too much pressure on Ruth to act fine when our life is crumbling around us. I'll get her something to break.'
'Spiffing. Cuz you know, Hun'er, she's spent the last ten, nine, years tryin'a please you. She's been hosting boring, adult dinner par'ies, raising Liv, hiding all us in her head and making a career for herself. She ain't touched booze or drugs or even smokes since you married her.'
'I know.' Hunter exhaled. 'She's got a lot to be proud of.'
'But that's not how she feels. Now Ruth feels like all 'er 'ard work is going to waste because she's losing you, losing Liv, losing her mask and losing 'er mind. This pregnancy was all she 'ad to be proud of, and she finks she's screwed that up too. She finks it was her fault the baby died, cuz she weren't sleeping or eating proper or taking care of herself. Now she's got nothing left. Nothing but a fat lot of guilt.'
               Hunter kept his head down for a while after that.
               'I...' He paused, sighed and tried again. 'I should call Ryan. He'll wonder where I am.'
'This is exactly why Ruth feels like she ain't important to you!' Hailey scoffed, shaking her head.
'And I'll call Susie, and ask her to cancel Ruth's appointments.' Hunter finished, as if Hailey hadn't spoken at all. Ruth probably would have gulped that response down with a pinch of salt and let it keep me up all night, haunting me in its coldness, but Hailey was not like me. She was not one to bottle things up, or let them stew. She knew what she wanted and fought for it - and for that, I admire her.
                'Hey!' Hailey suddenly raised her voice when Hunter walked out, into the living room. She followed him again. 'You'd leave a mourning woman alone?' But before Hunter could answer, Hailey shoved him in the back so hard that he fell onto the sofa.
'Don't push me around, Hailey!' he ordered her.
'Shut up, Hunter.' she ordered back, more viciously. He obeyed. 'And you listen to me. X may have hurt you, but stop being such a little bitch about it! Ruth 'as just lost 'er baby. She's gone frough somming worse than cheating, so stop feeling all sorry for yourself and STOP pushing us away. Stop pushing Ruth away. She needs you now - and whever you like it or not, she ain't actually done nofing to 'urt you. She's not done nofing wrong. In fact, even when you stopped talking to 'er and made her feel unwelcome in her own 'ome, she moved out so you wouldn't be uncomfortable. She can't of done no more than that. Give her a break!'
               'I've heard enough.' Hunter grumbled, standing up again and pushing past Hailey.
'Well you changed ya tune! What 'appened to 'Ruth's sad and I want to help', and 'I've put too much pressure on 'er'? I thought we was getting somewhere.'
'I don't want to talk about this anymore, Hailey.' Hunter said. He took the first step up the stairs, but Hailey wasn't leaving him alone. She shoved him in the back again. He straightened up angrily.
'You're a coward.' she told him. I cringed. Hunter had never responded to those words well. 'Ruth ain't done nofing wrong, and you're punishing her cuz it's easier than punishing yourself. If you trea'ed Ruth better she wouldn't have had to go to men like Alastair for in'imacy -'
               Hunter cut Hailey off by whipping around and pinning her against the wall. Her eyes widened in fear. He had never roughed any of us up before.
'This is not my fault.' he said angrily.
'The truth 'urts, don't it.' Hailey said, forcing a smirk. Hunter's glaring eyes practically burned holes through hers. 'I don't think I've ever seen you like this before, Hun'er. Why you got your knickers in such a twist?'
'Because somehow everything's always MY BLOODY FAULT!' Hunter suddenly yelled, losing his grip on Hailey's wrists to rip a frame down from the wall beside my head, and hurl it across the living room. Glass shattered against the opposite wall, just above the tv. Hailey yelped and flung her hands up over her head.
               As soon as he'd done it, Hunter's face turned pale. He gripped the roots of his hair and turned his back to Hailey, trying to gather his thoughts. She, in turn, straightened out her top and caught her breath.