Tried With Fire - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 38

I woke up in a car.

It was dark. Scarily dark. My mind started bustling with thoughts again before my eyes had even opened, my alters wondering what had happened, where we were, whether this was life or death, and what side of midnight we were on. Then my eyelids pried themselves apart and the thoughts paused. I was in a car. There was a dashboard in front of me, which looked like the horizon at first, glistening below the big white moon suspended in a pitch black sky. If I hadn't been so anxious to understand where I was, I probably could have believed I was standing at the top of a hill on a silent night, staring out at the horizon and basking in the lunar light. But I couldn't have been, because I was sitting. There was a comfortable, padded seat beneath me, and a brown leather jacket tucked around my shoulders. It was cold.

I slowly lifted my head from its lolled resting place on my shoulder, and scanned around the darkness. Through the passenger window were trees, lots of them, and to the right -
               'Ah!' I gasped, horrified. There was a man in the driver's seat! Asleep, but bigger than me and by the look of his arms, much stronger too.
               Just as I jumped back against the side door, the man's eyes popped open and he looked in my direction.
'Hey, hey, it's alright.' he told me, lifting his hands to steady my shoulders. I squinted: he looked familiar. The smell of his skin was what ultimately proved to me that I was looking at my husband of nearly seven years. 'It's alright, Ruth. It's me! It's Hunter. You're okay.'
'Hunter?' I squeaked.
               When my eyes finally adjusted to the light, I studied his face. I could see the white of his eyes and teeth, the sharpness of his bones, the softness of his complexion. I started to cry in relief as well as dread. Hunter never saw that torn look on my face, because he had already broken into a smile and thrown his arms around me.
'Finally, it's you! Ruth, I have missed you so much. So, so much. You have no idea -'
'You're crushing me.' I wheezed. Hunter didn't let go.
'Mamma Mia, I'm so glad you're okay, amore mio. I've missed you so damn much!'
'H-How, how did you find me?' I trembled. 'And where's Olivia? You frightened the life out of me just now! Are we in your car?'
'Oh, sorry.' Hunter sighed, his hands still tightly gripping my back. 'I'm sorry. I didn't think, when I put you in the car, that you'd be scared when you woke up.'
'But why are you here?' I asked, finally finding the strength to push my husband off of me. He reluctantly sat back, and scanned my face all over. He wanted to kiss me: his lips always twitched slightly when he did, with his teeth nibbling along his top lip. I wanted to kiss him more than anything in the world, but I would have hated it. Guilt is such a powerful emotion.
               'Well, er, Ruth,' Hunter said, 'my dad texted me when he saw you pull up at Grandma's house - so obviously I drove straight there.'
'He broke his promise! Guess you'd better give that four-fifty back now.'
'And...' Hunter yawned, 'Andy's staying with Olivia at our house for the night. I was going to take you back there, but I...I don't know. I, I wanted us to be alone, at least for a little while. Do you remember what happened last night, Ruth? Any of it?'
'Er, s-some.' I said evasively, shaking with the effort of remaining calm. I had never felt so...I honestly do not think there's a word for it. Scared: ashamed: confused: happy: guilty: confused again.
               'Hunter,' I went on, painfully, 'I didn't want to see you. You shouldn't have come. Now we have to say goodbye again and that kills me. I've been so depressed these last two weeks, but I was starting to accept that I can't come home - and now I've seen your face and, a-and... You just remind me of what I've lost and I almost hate you for it. You and Liv are better off without me.'
'Don't speak like that.' Hunter said, his eyes drooped and words cracked. 'Please don't. I hate it when you say things like that.'
'I hate saying it! But I can't help thinking it! Katherine's right, Hunter. I am a bad mum. I've abandoned my daughter for two weeks, and then Blaze came out again, when I thought he was going to be dormant forever this time... I'm volatile and psychotic and unstable. Admit it.'
'No. NO.' Hunter said, with a firm press of his forehead against mine. 'Ruth, you are none of those things. You are perfect. You are kind and strong and completely stable and most importantly, mine. You are my soulmate, amore mio. And I'm not letting you get away from me again.'
'But -'
'We're just two people who love each other, Ruth.' Hunter reminded me. I weakened. 'Nothing else matters.'
'Nothing else matters.' I repeated, more out of habit than agreement. Then I glanced up at Hunter. He was smiling. 'But this matters.' He stopped smiling. 'This matters a lot.'
'It doesn't, amore mio. Not anymore.'
               Hunter slowly tilted his forehead from its resting place against mine, to graze my lips with his tender, soft, warm ones. The simple touch felt like striking gold, or being struck by lightning: whichever is more likely to give you a heart attack that you will remember fondly. So, feeling fragile, I let the touch warm my heart for just a second, before quickly pushing Hunter's jaw away and reaching behind me to open the car door.
               'Hunter, don't kiss me.' I choked, scrambling. 'I can't let you draw me in like this when we can't be together anymore. Please.'
'But Ruth, you don't have to worry! You're coming home with me, and that's all there is to it.' Hunter said kindly but firmly.
'I-I can't. I can't let them take Olivia away from both of us.'
               Finally the door behind me popped open, and I fled.