The next twenty minutes were some of the most nerve-racking of my lifetime. In times past I endured a tall, bulky man frequently entering my bedroom and saying things he shouldn't have, seeing me in ways he shouldn't have, touching things he shouldn't have, and yet this situation made my very bones feel weak! Each step was taking me closer and closer to the beautiful old house that Hunter had grown up in; alarmingly close. Then my arm was raising itself, but fell limp by my side again before it could knock on the front door.
'Are you sure you want to do this, Ruth?' someone asked.
'I, I, I...I'm not sure of anything anymore - except that I want Hunter and Olivia back. I just want to go home.'
'I don't think this is the right way to go about it. You should have more faith in the legal system -'
'The legal system is what forced me to leave my home in the first place! I have no faith in the law anymore. I only have faith in love.'
'Trust Ruth to be a romantic at a time like this. I'm on the edge of my seat! Come on, knock on the door and let's get this party started!'
It took three more attempts for my protean hand to knock on that intimidating door. As soon as my fist rapped against it, there was a sudden silence enveloping me: I hadn't realised there had been any sound before, but now, presumably, the house's tv or a conversation had been paused and the doorstep felt all too still.
I remember taking a series of deep breaths as footsteps approached the door. I also remember dissociating before it opened.
Suddenly my shoulders slumped, my head tilted forwards and my whole body metamorphosed into that of a cold, unfeeling young man with sociopathic tendencies. I would've frozen in horror if I hadn't been too preoccupied with trying to hold onto my own head! But despite my efforts, soon I lost control of my fists, tensed legs and erratic lungs; in fact, in the space of half a second I had lost every sense except awareness. Somebody else was holding the reins to this body now. All Ruth could do was watch, hope and pray.
'You! What on earth are you doing here?' Katherine gasped when she opened the door to us. She looked over her shoulder at Phil for help, but he offered her none. 'I'm calling the police -'
'There's no need.' Blaze shrugged, in his low, strong voice. It sounded nothing like my husky, higher pitched cadence: Katherine and Phil both spotted the difference almost immediately.
'Phil, call the police.' Katherine said coldly, eyeing me up and down. Phil looked over at me, and edged toward the doorway that was bringing a blast of cold air and contention into the house. Surprisingly, he didn't side with the Devil for once.
'N-no.'
'What do you mean, 'no'!? Do as I say Phil! My phone is by the TV.'
'I, I think we ought to hear what Ruth has to say, my dear.' Phil said. He sent me a smile. 'After all, we'll go back to Dubai tonight and probably not come back here for a good few years. And we've ruined her life, Katherine. Let's at least hear her out.'
'Him.' Blaze corrected. He could have a surprisingly pleasant manner when he wanted to. He was still unpredictable, dangerous and menacing nonetheless. 'You should listen to me, ma'am. It'll make this easier on all of us.'
'I don't want to listen to you, I just want you to go away!' Katherine hissed. She was still glaring Phil down, as if his composed contradiction had left five knives in her back. Perhaps she just couldn't stand to look at me anymore. 'You're either drunk or having a psychotic episode, Ruth, but either way I won't help you. Go away.'
'I can't go.' Blaze said. 'Not yet. I have to help Ruth.'
'What!?' Katherine spat. 'You are Ruth! Now leave.'
'Are you always this pig-headed? Move aside, and let me get a word in before you have the coppers throwing me to the floor.'
'There go the good manners.' Charity laughed.
Stunned, Katherine watched motionlessly as Blaze side-stepped her, walked my dirty shoes across the clean white carpet, all the way through the hallway, and plonked himself down on the sofa. He made my body sit with its legs apart, wrists resting on my knees - the way 'cool' men sit. Then he looked Katherine dead in the eye and flashed his eyebrows at her.
'Now,' Blaze said, 'first let me say that I have done a lot to Ruth in the past, and I mostly regret it now. Some of it was worth it - like that time I went to a nightclub in London with a bunch of guys Ruth met down the pub one time, and I got so drunk I ended up dancing on the tables with some girl, and then she hit 'er 'ead so we smoked a puddle together...'
Blaze trailed off when he caught sight of Phil and Katherine's repulsed faces. He quickly cleared his throat, and continued more prudently, 'But, er, I've left that life behind me now. Ruth knows. Ask Hunter if you don't believe us. I've been sober five years - since I were twenty two. Not impressed?' Blaze sighed. 'Among us societal outcasts, aka 'addicts', five years clean is something to be proud of. I s'pose you two aren't proud because you've never actually hit rock bottom. If you had, you'd appreciate the people who've dragged themselves out of it. That's what Ruth's done. It's taken her a while, but she's dragged herself out of rock bottom. And she were living a healthy, successful, 'normal' life until you, Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee, came knocking at her door in January. You two are what's made her life fall apart.'
'I've heard enough now.' Katherine spoke up. She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her hips. 'Get the hell out of my house, Ruth.'
'This ain't your house, and I ain't Ruth. Can't you tell?'
'I can tell that you enjoy imaginary games more than your five year old does!'
'Wow. Wow. You, ma'am, are a real bitch.' Blaze shook his head in surprise.
'How dare you call me that - I'm calling the police right now! You have two seconds to get out of this house or -'
'Or what? You've already done all you can do to this body! Ruth's got nothing to lose anymore!' Blaze argued back, almost relishing in the hostility.
'Katherine, please.' Phil begged, discomforted by the look passing between Blaze and his wife. 'Let's just listen a little bit more. We owe Ruth that much.'
'I don't owe that bloody psycho a thing!' Katherine shouted. 'She's wasted the best years of my son's life, and thinks she can do the same to my only grandchild! I won't let her expose that girl to a world of addiction and promiscuity and slit wrists and whatever the hell else she's done!'
'Olivia.' Blaze hissed fiercely. "That girl' has a name. It's Olivia.'
'I know that! Now stop putting on that stupid voice and GET, OUT.'
'No. Call the police,' Blaze added when Katherine reached for her phone, 'and you'll be proving to me and your husband that you're in the wrong. If you were right, you'd be able to argue your way out of this one. But you can't, and people like you always resort to force when fighting with their head don't work.'
'Stop trying to appeal to my pride.' Katherine spat. 'You're a volatile, psychotic, unstable woman, and I don't want you anywhere near me.'
'I AM A PERSON JUST LIKE YOU!' Blaze suddenly yelled out. It shut Katherine right up. Blaze leaned back in his chair a little and sighed again. 'And Ruth is not volatile, psychotic or unstable. She is a better mum to Olivia than you ever were to Hunter, because she actually loves her family. She's not some sociopath who only lives to please herself no matter what it costs other people. So no, I'm not Ruth, but there would be no shame in me if I was. She's fought more demons than anyone else. She's worked harder for her life than anyone else. She's put up with the ten other people living in her head constantly nagging at her, complaining to her, and casting their judgements on her - and not many people live their entire lives like that. But the ones who do deserve medals - not meddling women like you who lay traps just to see them fall down. You've hurt Ruth a lot, Katherine. And why? What's it all for? Why do you hate her so much?'
There was silence for a few seconds. Blaze closed his mouth and looked at Katherine, while she bit her lip and watched the floor do nothing. Phil sighed.
'She's jealous.' he mumbled. Katherine's head snapped up, ready to snap her husband's neck if he dared to speak out of turn again.
'Shut up, Phil. Don't say another word to this crazy -'
'She'd never admit it out loud,' Phil continued, 'but Katherine is jealous of Ruth, er...'
'Call me Blaze.'
'Oh! Alright, Blaze.'
'Oh my - he calls himself 'Blaze'!? The woman really is bonkers!' Katherine mocked.
'Just shut up and listen to your husband for once. It won't kill you.' Blaze said harshly.
Phil hesitated, and Ruth started to lose hope that he might have her back after all, but then he shook off the weight of Katherine's obvious displeasure, inhaled and said,
'Thank you Blaze. Look, Katherine...I know you are a principled woman, but you have to admit you made this whole mess out of jealousy. You miss Hunter, and Ruth gets to be with him all the time. You wish you knew Olivia better, and Ruth gets to raise her. You're jealous. It's sordid, and unfair, but I understand it, Katherine. You didn't know how else to get Hunter to notice you, so you kicked up a drama and now you have all his attention! You'd rather be hated than left out, my dear. That's the bottom line. You would rather be hated than left out.'
Katherine stared at Phil for a few more seconds. Then, after what felt like an eternity in silence, she opened her mouth and out spewed some more of her heartless obstinance.
'I can't believe you would speak to me like that.'
'I have to make you see reason, Kath-'
'You have no idea what reason is!' she screeched. 'I am trying to protect our son and granddaughter from a life of misery with this, this freak! She deserves a straitjacket, not a family.'
'Don't you dare talk about Ruth like that.' Blaze interjected sternly. 'In fact, don't ever talk about any human like that! Especially not one who has been nothing but good to you, and to your precious son.'
'Oh shut up, Ruth! There is something seriously wrong with you, and I won't stand here and let you harass me -'
'I'm not doing anything to you! I'm only trying to help Ruth. God knows I've never done her much good before.'
'Phil, hand me my phone.' Katherine ordered, ignoring me entirely. He didn't move. 'Phil, hand me my phone!'
'Listen to me.' Blaze said, urgency in his tone, 'I'm trying to tell you that Ruth is innocent in all of this. You have to understand that taking her to court was wrong, and stopping her from seeing her daughter is wrong -'
'I can't listen to another word.' Katherine said, hiding her conviction under a scornful laugh.
She moved across the room to get her phone, but was stopped by Blaze lurching forward and pushing her against a nearby wall. He held her upper arms in place, and she stared back at him in speechless shock. I think that was when she ultimately realised that she wasn't talking to Ruth Brookes anymore. As she looked deep into Blaze's eyes, she finally saw past the brown eyes, brown hair and round face, and sensed another presence. She could feel him when he dug his fingers into her arms. She could see him, clear as day: a twenty seven year old man with a cheeky smirk, dark eyes and a history of his own.
Phil had stepped forward when Blaze grabbed his wife, but relaxed again when he saw what he was doing. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone. He wasn't trying to make a scene. He was simply, innocently, trying to make her see.
Katherine stared into Blaze's adamant eyes for a long time. Then she gulped and said, 'You're a demon.'
'Almost.' Blaze smirked. 'I prefer the term 'undesired presence'. Do you see me now?'
'I, I see you.' Katherine said uncomfortably. She looked at Phil, but he just shrugged. 'Now get off me.'
'Fine. But I want you to listen to me.'
'Why should I?'
'Because I have something to say, and a short fuse.'
Slowly, Blaze released Katherine's arms and went to sit down on the sofa again. Phil sat down on one side of him, and after some hesitation, Katherine stepped closer.
'Fine. Make it quick.'
'I remember you, you know.' Blaze started. 'Both of you. Ruth always used to call you Mr and Mrs B when she was a kid. She used to go to your house all the time, and you would go on double dates with Sofia and Bertie on Fridays. Your families went on holidays together, and your kid was best friends with Andy and Ruth. He still loves 'em both now. Did you know Andy's got a girlfriend? She's schizophrenic. Barrel of laughs, that Susie.'
'Yes, we know about her.' Phil said. 'We saw her in court about a month ago. She seems nice.'
'Nice for a schizo, he means.'
'No.' Phil disagreed with Katherine. 'Don't put words into my mouth. She's nice for anyone. Andy is a lucky man.'
'He's wasted seven years on that girl, Phil! She's going to break his heart one day, just like Ruth is going to break Hunter's.'
'How do you figure that?'
'Because they all kill themselves in the end.' Katherine said bluntly. 'And most of them kill someone else first.'
'Wow.' Blaze said, stunned again. 'You're so wrong. You're arrogant and misled and prejudiced and wrong. And if you really think that's what all mentally ill people do, then you clearly haven't done enough for the mentally ill people around you. If you had supported them properly, they wouldn't have hurt a fly.'
'Ah, of course.' Katherine mocked. 'Blame the victims!'
'You would know. You've got a problem with Ruth, and it's because she actually was a victim. You can't stand that there is someone else out there who has suffered more than you, Mrs B - no don't interrupt me, it's the truth! You always have to have the most problems, and the most pain, and the most reasons to kick up a fuss, but the funny thing is, you don't actually have any! Bertie put Ruth through more pain and torture than you will ever feel, and because her brain had a natural reaction to it, you hate her! You want to isolate her. You said yourself that she deserves a straitjacket! It's like Mr B said: you're jealous.'
When Katherine didn't have anything to reply to that, she slapped Blaze across the face. His head turned, burned, and he clenched his jaw. Ruth was cringing in anticipation of a fight, but Blaze simply looked back up at her and said, 'You know, I once cut a bitch for that. But, well, I don't think you're worth the effort.'
'Don't make me hit you again.' she spat.
'It's funny, I have fond memories of my dad hitting me and saying the exact same thing.'
'You don't have a dad. You don't really exist.'
'I exist as much as Ruth does.' Blaze said. 'I have my own life, family and thoughts like Ruth does.'
'No you don't! You're just a delusion.'
'And you're just a dimwit with no empathy, but you don't see me throwing that in your face.'
'Actually, that's all you've done since showing up here! Uninvited, I might add.' Katherine parried.
'Because you won't let me move on to anything else! I didn't come here to insult you, lady. I came here to tell you why Ruth acts the way she does, so that you'll understand her and let her go home to her family.'
'And how do you think she acts?' Phil asked Blaze. Katherine was busy scoffing at the very idea of letting Ruth go home.
'Well...' Blaze said thoughtfully, 'she can lash out at times, or get depressed, and she has a tendency to run away from her problems. But everything she does can be explained, and since your wife don't fancy 'earing a word she has to say, I figured I'd come and maybe you'd listen to me.'
'We're all ears.' Phil said kindly, but when Blaze glanced at Katherine, who was now standing against the opposite wall and seemed about ready to blow the top off her head, his chances of convincing her that the sky was blue seemed slimmer.
'I hope you're ready to listen, Katherine, because if you are, I could change your whole perspective on life. I could help you.'
'I'm happy the way I am, thank you very much.' Hunter's egotistical mother said.
'Well,' Blaze sighed, 'the 'you' that you are now is nasty and manipulative. Ruth, on the other hand, is innocent, and sweet and tries her best to please everyone she can. She can't bear to let people down, which is why she left when you threatened to take Olivia away from her and Hunter. She couldn't bear the thought of being the reason Hunter and Olivia are unhappy, so she removed herself from the whole situation. She did that to please your son, Katherine. She's done what you wanted her to from the beginning. You've won. You've beaten her. Now I'm asking you to show her some grace.'
'I have always been gracious to her.' Katherine lied. 'I waited five years before taking her to court. I gave her five years to realise her inadequacy and leave Hunter, but she never did.'
'Do you even hear yourself?' Phil suddenly found his voice. Blaze smiled. 'Listen to yourself, Katherine! It's psychopathic to think that way! You can't seriously have wanted Ruth to leave Hunter this whole time? He's miserable right now - absolutely miserable. I saw him this morning, just to say goodbye, and he was a mess! He can't cope without Ruth. He loves her!'
'Spare me the sob story, Phil.' Katherine groaned.
'No!' Her eyes widened.
'Well this is awesome.' Julie said.
'Phil, stop saying no to me -'
'I'll say no as many times as it takes until you realise that you are wrong!' Phil shouted emotionally. 'You've wanted Hunter - our own boy - to get heartbroken since he married Ruth! That's sick!'
'No, it's pragmatic!' Katherine barked back. 'Ruth is going to let him down someday but you're too naïve to see it! You think she can be fixed, but I know she can't. It's better that she leaves him now. She was a good kid, and didn't deserve what Bertie did to her, but it's done and now she has to deal with it on her own.'
'Stop talking about her like that when she's right here.' Phil hissed angrily. I had never seen him stand up to her like this. Never.
'Oh please! Ruth is out of her mind right now. And speaking of, I think it's high time I called the police.'
'Stop it Katherine.' Phil said, grabbing her phone before she could. 'Just stop it now. Can't you be civil for ten minutes?'
'Not with her.'
'Why the hell not!? What did she ever do to you -'
'Alright.' Blaze eventually intervened. 'That's enough. Don't bother with her anymore, Phil. We can't say we didn't try. I wanted to do this for Ruth, but I can't be bothered to keep arguing with someone who couldn't care less whether I live or die.'
Phil sent Katherine a desperate look, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Blaze stood up and moved towards the door. Katherine followed a few steps behind, wary of getting too close.
With one hand on the doorknob, Blaze turned back to Hunter's sulking parents and said, 'You heard what Bertie said in court last month. Two hundred and thirty two times. Ruth was just a kid. Don't tell me you expect that to wash off in the shower.'
Katherine and Phil both lowered their heads, but said nothing. Just as Blaze opened the door to the chilly, evening April air, he solemnly spoke one last time, to ask, 'What if it had been Hunter instead?'
Katherine's head snapped up, her mouth flapping like a mute fish. Blaze nodded to her in parting, slowly, then turned to leave -
And there was Hunter.
*
'Mamma Mia.' Hunter breathed out softly, when his and Blaze's eyes met. He looked like a lost puppy standing outside in the dark, waiting patiently with big eyes and a slightly lowered head to be allowed into the warm house. The Ruth in me was struck dead from an overwhelming sense of embarrassment, desiderium and inescapable emotional restraint, while Blaze just saluted Hunter as if he was any random man on the street.
Hunter took one step forward with eyes as wide as the ocean, and filled with about as much water. 'Ruth,' he said, 'I...I've missed you so -'
'Woah there, horndog.' Blaze stepped back from the tall, muscular man with his arms outstretched. 'I ain't your Ruth, I'm Blaze.'
'Oh.' Hunter said, slightly shocked, slightly unnerved and very disappointed. 'Oh. Right. Well, er, thanks for letting me know.'
'I didn't fancy being kissed by a dude.'
'I don't fancy kissing one.' Ruth's husband tittered tiredly. 'Look, er, I-I, can I speak to Ruth please?'
'She'll come out when she's good and ready.'
'I'm trying!' Ruth wept loudly from the inside. 'I'm trying, amore mio! I can see you! Can you see me!? How's Olivia? Is she nearby? I LOVE YOU HUNTER!'
'Oh. Alright then. Do you want to tell me what's been going on -'
'Allow me to fill you in.' Katherine said from behind Blaze, peering over his shoulder to see her son. Hunter groaned at the sight of her.
'Hi, Mum. You alright?'
'No, I am not alright! Your psycho wife has just stormed in here and thrown me up against the wall! She called me pig-headed, a bitch and countless other things! I've probably got bruises on my arms from the way she grabbed me! If you don't make her leave, I'll call the police.'
'In Ruth's defence,' Phil called from behind his wife, 'Ruth says she's a man called 'Blaze' - and when she pushed your mother, well, it wasn't exactly unprompted. She was going to call the police. ...And she slapped R- Blaze around the face.'
'What!?' Hunter gasped, his eyes stuck to me. He reached out to move my head from one side to another, but Blaze pushed him away. 'Does it hurt? Your cheek is all red -'
'Get off me, I'm fine. I almost respect your mum for the muscle she put into it.'
Hunter turned his eyes murderously up to his mother. Then he pushed his way into Grandma's house, taking Blaze with him, and slammed the door behind him, trapping us all in the small hallway together. 'Oh joy.'
'You hit my wife!?' Hunter started on his mother. 'You bloody hit my wife -'
'I am not your wife.'
'It was self defence!' Katherine hissed. 'It's not my fault your wife is a drunken psycho -'
'Don't talk about her like that! Do not touch my wife, and do not call her names, you hear me? I should call the police on you-'
'And tell them what? That your wife had a psychotic episode, showed up here uninvited and tried to hurt me so I defended myself!? Don't come in here running your mouth off at me, Hunter Brookes. I am your mother -'
'NO! No! Not anymore!' Hunter shouted back. Katherine froze. 'You've done too much damage to be a part of my family anymore, Mum. Just go back to Dubai and leave me and Ruth and Olivia the hell alone!'
'I will do no such thing. Ruth is dangerous -'
'STOP talking about my wife like that! STOP thinking she's beneath you because you're afraid to admit that she's a better mum than you ever were! STOP trying to separate us!'
'Don't you dare try to intimidate me!' Katherine screeched when Hunter stood over her, shouting and swearing and pointing his finger. She pushed him in the chest, but he didn't move. 'You almost deserve that lunatic of a wife! Now leave. Both of you.'
'No.' Hunter said, squaring his jaw. 'Not until you apologise to Ruth for the way you've treated her.'
'Me!?' Katherine guffawed. 'I've never done or said a thing she didn't deserve -'
'YOU MADE HER LEAVE HER FAMILY!' Hunter cried, almost laughing with the strain of being so angry. 'Did she deserve that!? I have put Olivia to bed every bloody night for the last two weeks while she kept asking me when Mummy was coming home; I kept telling her she'd be back soon but I had no idea whether Ruth was even alive, and that's YOUR FAULT. We were happy until you showed up on your high horse -'
Hunter's gravelly voice cut out when the floor rose up to meet Blaze's head, and suddenly everything ceased to exist. I would say 'everything went black', but that is one of those clichés that doesn't actually make sense to me. I didn't see black. I didn't see anything. Unconscious people can't see, or hear, or speak or think or feel; it would have been paradise if I hadn't been too unconscious to savour it.
YOU ARE READING
Tried With Fire - (Ruth Harris Series)
Romance*SEQUEL TO 'JUST ME, HIM, AND TEN OTHERS'* *THIRD BOOK OF THE RUTH HARRIS/DID SERIES* Ruth and Hunter have come a long way since the days of old where everything was new, exciting and tainted with fear. Together they have become an unstoppable pair...
