Tried With Fire - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 21

Life continued on similarly for a while after that day. The following evening was spent at Ryan and Emma's house, where Hunter and I sat rigidly on the sofa, watching everyone take turns in karaoke and charades and trying not to look too grumpy. We didn't speak much after our chat with Miss Schmidt, nor did our skin touch or eyes meet. My soul loathed every second of it. I missed Hunter. I didn't just miss having a husband, or somebody to compliment my cooking or even talk about my pregnancy with, but I missed Hunter Brookes himself. I missed his smile, his voice, his playfulness and seeing him relax when he came through the front door every evening to his family. I missed the way his lips felt, and the way his neck smelt and the way his big, strong arms enveloped me.

As the next three weeks went on, I made an appointment with my local GP, waited for it to come around and carried on with life as usual - or, as usual as it could be. My first appointment was on the 13th of February.
'So I have to tell Hunter about the baby before then. BEFORE THEN.'
               But telling him was...difficult, to say the least. I don't even know if I would have if Susie hadn't ordered me to. I sat with her after our support group meeting one Wednesday, and the two of us chatted away until she suddenly turned serious.
               'Hang on,' Susie said, 'your first appointment is on the thirteenth?'
'Yeah? Why the serious face?'
'Is Hunter going with you?'
'Er...'
'Chicken.' Susie sighed. 'Chicken chicken chicken. You're being such an idiot.'
'Susie -'
'Ruth you found out you were pregnant, what, three weeks ago!? Come on! You have to tell your husband already!'
'I know I know, but me and Hunter have been so distant recently. He's been going to the gym early every morning, and he's always staying late at work -'
'Crappy excuses, Ruth.' Susie groaned. 'You shouldn't do this alone. You need Hunter to know so he can be there for you! Do you really want to be throwing your guts up every morning without having him there to hold your hair back?'
'Well when you put it that way...'
'You shouldn't do this alone.' Susie repeated. I glanced up at her purposed face. 'Tell him. Tonight. I'll be popping round at eight on my way to pick Andy up from work - his car's in the shop. And if Hunter doesn't know by then, I swear to God I'll tell him myself.'
'...Fine.' I eventually grumbled. 'Fine, I'll tell him.'

When I told him I was pregnant the first time, six years ago now, we had been snuggled up together on our sofa. I think we were watching Diehard. I remember turning to his concentrated face, right in the middle of his favourite scene, and just blurting it out. Mamma Mia, I had never seen him so shocked! He had just stared at me, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, for at least sixty seconds. Then he suddenly jumped up, cheered and cheered some more. I could only hope for such a reaction twice.

Hunter arrived home around 7:30 on that random Wednesday night. He put Olivia to bed, ate the dinner I had saved in the oven for him, and then joined me on the sofa.
               'Hey.' he said quietly.
'Hey.' I replied, turning a page of Our Mutual Friend.
'Dickens, I love you buddy but your books are bloody hard to read. I've done two paragraphs in half an hour.'
'You're just dim.' Julie mocked playfully.
'Could you do better?'
'Sure! Just let me -'
'Don't. Don't takeover.' I replied, accidentally out loud. Hunter was used to it by now.
'You okay?'
'I'm fine.'
'Course you are.' Hunter muttered.
               When I just continued to read, he sighed and stood back up from the sofa. I spoke up before he could reach the stairs because it was already eight o'clock.
'Hunter, I need to talk to you.'
'Okay.'
'Can you come here?'
               Hunter hesitated, but soon was sitting beside me again. I faced him. He searched my eyes for clues but I'm sure they were as ambiguous and off-putting as ever.
               'You're really good at making me nervous.' Hunter commented after a few silent seconds. I was trying to find the words. After weeks of bickering, ignoring each other and finding every possible excuse to be apart, it was hard to find the courage to tell him the news. What if he didn't want another child? What if he hated me for being pregnant? What if -
               'Ruth. It's alright.' Hunter said knowingly. 'Just tell me.'
'Okay. Okay. Mamma Mia, why is this so hard? Okay look, ahem, er, Hunter -'