Bad In Common

Chapter 56 (Last Chapter) ✔️

Letting go is part of growing up.

That's easy to say. Definitely harder to do.

Letting go of what is holding you back is the key to getting the best out of life.

But how do I let go?

How do I let go of the guilt that's keeping me captive inside my brain for not saving my sister? If I can let go of that burden, maybe I can forgive myself?

Maybe if Tyler could look past what happened to his sister and accept the fact that it wasn't his fault, maybe then he would forgive himself?

How do you forgive yourself for not preventing what could have been prevented if you just gave a little more attention?

Forgiveness is easier when it's not internal.

Somehow I've come to the stage of acceptance.

I know now that my sister's death wasn't my fault. I couldn't have thought her inner demons, even if I knew about them. She was old enough to make her own decisions and as much as it hurt me, it was her choice to end her internal pain. Her lifeless body will forever haunt my memories but I don't feel as guilty as I did.

I know I could have prevented it if I just paid a little more attention but I won't beat myself up anymore. I'd rather focus on the good memories I have with her. Those good memories are busy replacing all the bad ones. That's how I know I'm busy letting go of the guilt and eventually I'll be able to move on.

Tyler on the other hand hasn't stopped beating himself up. I guess it's harder to have someone, who constantly reminds you about what happened, walking around you than not being able to see the person because they aren't there anymore. As bad as it sounds, it's true. I'm starting to let go because I don't have my sister walking around to remind me of what happened.

I just hope Tyler will grant himself the opportunity to fight off the guilt and start to let go. Especially when Hayley is still alive and stepping into the next phase of her life. I'm sure she doesn't want to be dragged down by Tyler's guilt.

Once you accept the guilt and learn to live with the guilt, you'll strat to realise the change around you. I'm not as stubborn nor hot headed as I was a year ago. I'm not as guarded as I used to be. I'm starting to free myself. From the pain. From all of it. But there will always be one thing that will keep on dragging me down.

My parents.

" If you decide to stop day dreaming about how good I am in bed, some help would be appreciated." Tyler's voice rings through my ears.

The sudden sound of his voice blasting through my ear drums makes me jump. Tyler stifles a laugh as he continues to throw in my bathroom accessories, that got left behind when I rushed off with Emily, into a brown box.

" Don't just throw it in you dimwit. " I scold as I carefully pick up my very expensive purfume that dad bought for me from Paris.

" Vicious aren't we?" he chuckles.

" Old habits die hard." I shrug.

We continue to clear out my bathroom. It's the last room that needs to be cleared from my stuff before we can slip away and drive back to Emily's apartment where more of my stuff is waiting for me.

I'm finally moving in with Tyler.

It's ridiculous because I've only known him for less than a year.

But eh, when you know, you know.

You sound just like Emily. Didn't you scold her about moving in with Parker-