Bad In Common

Chapter 31 ✔️

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and a loss of interest. It affects how you feel, interact and think. It can lead up to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

A lot of people live with depression from day to day. They learn to deal with their complicated emotions and usually take anti-depressants for that extra boost in their behavior.

Then there are people who can't learn to live with it. Whether they don't want to or they don't know how to, it usually doesn't end good for them. The tricky thing about these people is that most of the time the people around them don't even realize that they are fighting a mental battle. The people closest to them don't see that the person they love is busy losing hope each second that passes by. They don't notice the danger the other person is in.

Until it's too late.

The mind can change into your own personalized hell in a matter of time.

Thoughts that never occurred to you suddenly makes their way into your mind and you can try anything in your power to get rid of them but they never go away. Your mind tricks you into believing that you aren't good enough. It makes you believe that the people around you will be better off without you. Sure they'll miss you but they'll only be sad for a little while. Before you know it your life is tearing by the seam and you're the one causing the action.

It's easy to think about just ending the pain by taking your life but what most of these people don't realize is that someone is eventually going to walk in on them and will have to witness a person who lost their own mental battle. They forget that not only are they taking away their ability to live but they are hurting the people around them by giving up.

Unfortunately for my sister depression won the fight which lead to her taking her own life. I was the one to witness my sister's defeat. I don't think I'll ever forget the hurt I saw on her face before she pulled the trigger.

I did a good job at hiding my past when I started with college. I finally got the opportunity to start over. To meet new people without them knowing the shit I went through. It was nice being surrounded by people who didn't treat me differently because of what happened. I liked being separated from my past but now mom just had to go and ruin it.

Looking back up at Tyler and Emily's surprised and confused expressions I mentally curse mom before sighing and sitting down on my bed next to them. Mom made a quick move to dissappear after she dropped the bombshell in front of my friends so that she isn't the one to explain.

It's childish really. She knew I was trying to break free from my past and turn over a page but with her I can never forget. She reminds me every time when she looks at me.

" A-Ally -" Emily whispers in a shaky voice. She tries to reach out for my hand but I quickly pull mine away.

I notice sympathy creeping in over Tyler and Emily's faces. I'm not surprised by it but I really hate it when people look at me as if I'm a lost puppy.

" My sister took her life. That's all there is to say about that. Can we please just drop it?"

Tyler and Emily stare back at me with shock. They're probably wondering how easily I just brushed it off but in all honesty I'm just trying to cope with the fact that reality came barging back in.