Bad In Common

Chapter 21 ✔️

Dear Diary

I don't know how to express my feelings anymore. It's as if people forget that I'm human too and they treat me as if I'm not able to hurt inside. Take mom as an example. I try so hard to try and make her understand that I am okay and that she doesn't have to worry about me but her mind only focuses on what happened on that day. I guess she's afraid I'm heading down that road as well. Her fear blinds her sight and she can't see how much she's pushing me away with her words. Even dad. I still haven't heard from him and it's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks of absolute silence. Is this how divorce works? The one parent focuses on everything going wrong in their life while the other tries and avoid everything that is currently going on in their life. While they are caught up in their own mess they are forgetting that I'm stuck in the middle. I hate being in the middle.

~Ally

I look down at my diary and sigh. Why does it feel like writing down my feelings isn't helping anymore? It helps to put it all together but I'm starting to lose hope. Ever since I started college things have only been going downhill, especially my relationship with my mom. My heart still aches that she just up and left after I explained how she was making me feel. Why do I feel like the bad guy when I only tried to tell her that I'm hurting inside? It's not supposed to be this way.

I hear soft grunts coming from Emily. Looking over to her sleeping figure I hear her mutter a few incoherent words. She's probably having a bad dream. I close my diary and head over to my bed. It's already past 1am and I need to get rest in for the day ahead.

We are going hiking.

Don't ask why, just know Emily is behind this like usual.

" D-don't." I hear Emily mutter after a few minutes.

I ignore her as I try drifting off to sleep. I'm disturbed once again when I hear her sniff. Is she crying?

" You're hurting me." she sobs softly into her pillow.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Her sobs become louder and I decide it's best to wake her up before she hurts herself.

" Emily." I whisper hoping she could hear me.

She doesn't react to me waking her up and continues on sobbing.

" Stop p-please." she cries out.

Her sobs are becoming louder and she's starting to shiver. She's having a really bad nightmare.

" Emily wake up. " I say a little louder.

Her eyes fly open. She's confused for a few seconds before she let's out a sigh of what I assume is relief.

I stare at her with shock. Sweat is dripping down her forehead as she takes in her surroundings. She relaxes once she realizes we're in the dorm. She then turns to me while wiping away a tear and laying back down on her pillow.

" Bad dream." she mutters before turning her back towards me and going back to sleep.

What the hell was that?

I think back to her bruised wrists. Does her nightmare have a connection with her wrists? Something doesn't add up. I'm starting to get worried.