Letters On Our Skin || BangChan

14

I end up staying the night at the dorm again.
Though, this time I sleep on the couch by myself.
At least, until way after three in the morning when Felix and Changbin come out of their rooms with their blankets and pillows. I watch as they wordlessly plop down next to me, each of them covering me, who is already beneath a blanket, with a piece of theirs. Felix takes my hand and cuddles into my side, Changbin kisses my shoulder and closes his eyes.
The sheer love and care I feel in that moment freezes me in place, unable to look at anything else than the ceiling. I've never experienced friendship like this before. The way these boys show their love makes me so damn happy that I fall back asleep smiling.

I awake to the smell of coffee and pancakes.
Minho and Chan are in the kitchen preparing breakfast, Seungmin and Jeongin set the table. Next to me, both Felix and Changbin are still asleep.
"Morning Ollie," Hyunjin greets me as he steps out of the bathroom. His dark hair is still wet from the shower he must have taken. "Did Felix and Changbin sleep on the couch tonight?"
"Yeah, they came here in the middle of the night," I answer.
Hyunjin smiles down on them and gently strokes Felix' hair. "Yeah, they do that. They don't like when people are alone. It can be a lot but they're just very affectionate."
I glance towards the kitchen and grin up at Hyunjin. "Aren't you all?"

I get to borrow a fresh pair of sweats from Felix and one of Han's T-shirts. Felix even hands me a pair of fresh socks, while Hyunjin shows me where they keep the spare toothbrushes. Minho allows me to use his face wash and shows me the various moisturizer cremes and spf protection cremes they have.
I don't ever think I've been this well taken care of.
"These might be the best pancakes I've ever eaten," I say at breakfast. "And that means a lot because I'm American. I used to get a lot of pancakes."
Memories of my mom in the kitchen light up in my head like fireworks, but I force them away. I don't want to be sad right now.
I look over at Chan, but he's just staring at his plate. He hasn't even touched his pancake.
I reach out my hand and gently shake his arm.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
Chan snaps back into reality and his lips form a thin line.
He sighs deeply and everyone at the table tenses, including me.
"Oh, no," Jeongin whispers, "He only makes that face when there's bad news."
We all look at Chan and he pushes his plate a bit away from him before his eyes meet mine.
"The CEO of JYP Entertainment called this morning and asked me to bring you to his office," he says, "He wants to meet with you."
"Why?" I swallow dryly. "What does he want from me?"
"I don't know," Chan answers, finally cutting a piece off of his pancake, "But I'll take you by your place. It's probably best if you wear something other than sweatpants."

"I don't understand what he wants from me," I say in Chan's car.
We just dropped by my apartment complex, where I rushed into my apartment to get changed. Now, dressed in black pants and a simple white shirt, I sit beside Chan in the front of his car. His car is black, simple, but sporty.
Chan drives with one hand on the steering wheel, and it's the most handsome thing I've ever laid eyes on. His hair is tussled and curly. He looks over at me.
"I can't tell you, Ollie," he says and tries a smile. "But you're not going to be alone in there. I'll be in there with you."
A smile tugs on my lips, but I sigh.
"I don't want to talk to him, though. I don't think I'll like him one bit."
"You don't have to like him. I doubt anyone of his idols really likes him. But he's our boss so we have to respect him. And now that you're close to us, you're in this with us."
I pout and cross my arms.
"If he tries to start shit, I won't hesitate." I say and Chan laughs abruptly, his shoulders shaking.

We enter the JYP Entertainment building through the access from the garage underground. We have to hurry, Chan explains to me, because even down here photographers try to steal pictures and videos of you.
In the elevator, I am reminded of the first time Chan snuck me in. I glance at him next to me.
He's staring at the ceiling, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. My eyes fall to his hands.
The memory of his fingers writing letters on my skin is still vibrant in my mind. Chan stuffs them into the pockets of his jacket and I follow the movement with my eyes.
I look at the numbers on the level signs. We're at level 4, we want to get to level 12.
I take a deep breath and take a step sideways, closer to Chan. Then I slip my hand into his jacket pocket and curl my fingers around his. I blush when I look at Chan again and see him smiling, looking down onto me.
He grabs my hand tighter, intertwining our fingers inside his pocket. I lean into his body.

Everything about Chan feels safe. Feels like protection. Feels like home.
I don't ever have to be embarrassed to show physical affection towards him. I see him do it with the boys all the time. They're constantly hugging, touching, being close to one another.
Still, this feels different. This feels more intimate, more fragile. I don't feel like this when I'm with a friend.
As the elevator continues to stay empty apart from us, I keep close to Chan's side, eventually wrapping my other hand around his arm. He's so warm. His arm is so muscular.

Finally, the elevator doors open on level 12 and we step out. In front of us, a lady sits behind a desk, typing away on her computer.
When we get closer, her eyes land on our connected hands, and she pulls up one eyebrow. I squeeze Chan's hand one time and then let go of it.
The woman smiles pointedly.
"Jung Wook has been expecting you."