Letters On Our Skin || BangChan

58

When Chan and I later sit by the pool, we deliberately choose to sit a little bit apart from another. If any of them noticed anything odd between Chan and I, they don't show it. None of them mention anything, not even Felix. Chan and I sit side by side but my whole body tingles and I have to catch myself a few times before my fingers reach out to drive through his hair or over his biceps.
I can't believe the words he said to me, the things he whispered.
The way he called me his.
His wonderful Ollie.
Thinking about it drives shivers down my spine.

"Guys, we should go to the forest park."
My eyes flit to Hyunjin who sits outside the pool on a towel, typing on his phone.
He scrunches his eyebrows together as he tries to read against the blinding sunlight.
"It says here they have a petting zoo with goats and sheep," he takes a sip from his drink, nudging Jeongin with his foot, "Don't you want to pet a goat? It's supposed to be really nice for walks and stuff..."
I sigh.
"I literally just went on a walk," I answer and Jisung purses his lips.
"And whose choice was that?" He pulls up an eyebrow teasingly, "You're coming with us, end of discussion. We're all going to pet some goats."
I look at Chan who shrugs and smiles slightly.
While the others gather their towels and glasses, Chan bends to me and whispers in my ear, "Don't worry, I'll carry you if you get tired."
I turn my head away to hide the fact that I am blushing, and get off the lounging chair.

Twenty-four minutes later, I stand in a dusty grass pit, surrounded by tiny baby goats, fluffy sheep, and a group of young adults, cooing and tutting at the animals.
"Look! It's trying to eat my shirt!" Jisung points at the baby goat nibbling at the bottom of his sleeve .
Minho, carrying a miniature sheep in his arms, laughs and holds up a handful of food to his sheep that he got when we arrived at the petting zoo.
Hyunjin and Felix have found a group of chickens in the back of the pit and have been watching those birds without moving. Seungmin has walked past them, multiple times, making chicken jokes at Felix, before running off hurriedly.
Olivia and Hannah are sharing a bag of food, giving out handfuls of it to a group of very loudly gawking goats around them.
I am holding a bundle of long grass blades, but so far none of the goats have tried to take it from me. I wave it around a little in the general direction of a smaller sheep with a black face and it taps over to me, slowly. I squat down slowly and hold the grass bundle out with my arm.
The sheep looks at me, cocking its head, and then taps away.
"Aw," I sigh, "You don't want my grass?"
Someone chuckles behind me and I stand, expecting to find Chan there.

But when I turn, I lay eyes on a tall guy in glasses. His dark hair is curly, and it covers most of his forehead.
He's pretty in a way that strangers are pretty when they smile and you don't know about what.
He's wearing a dark green shirt with the yellow logo of the petting zoo.
"You might have more luck with the dry food," he says and smiles, "They usually like that a bit more."
I smack my lips, "Oh, I thought the fresh grass would be more exciting for them."
The boy laughs, "Yeah, many think so but I think because they get a lot of grass when they're out on the fields they're more excited to get something else in the pit."
He looks me over and then turns away to grab a bag of dry food from a little card behind him, before he reaches his hand out to give it to me.
"Here, have some of this," he pours a bit into my hand and then nudges my arm, "Try Giselle over there, she's very friendly."
I almost laugh, "Her name is Giselle?"
"Yeah, I named her myself," he chuckles again and bends down to call the goat over.
The small brown goat tippy-taps over, curious yet unsure, and weighs its head from left to right.
I copy the boy and hold out my hand with the food towards Giselle.

She walks over and takes a bit of the food from my hand. Her head is so small I could hold it in both my hands, and my heart flutters at the sight of the little hooves and horns.
"Oh my god," I whisper, "This is so great. She's so cute, oh my goodness."
"You're doing great," the boy laughs beside me, "You're a goat whisperer."
I laugh and gingerly stretch out my other hand to carefully pet Giselle's short fur.
I can feel the boy's eyes on me, lingering on my face, but I try not to give too much thought to it.
Giselle starts nibbling on my fingers when the food in my hand is gone and I can feel her tiny little teeth on my fingertips making me giggle.
"What's going on over here?"
Chan appears next to me, looking down at us.
When I grin up at him, his face is calm and collected, though I can see something darker in his eyes.
"I just fed my first goat," I explain, but Chan's eyes are on the boy and he's not listening to me. He's assessing the situation.
With a start, I realize he's jealous.
I stand and turn my body so the others in the pit won't see when I place a hand on Chan's arm.
My fingers are cold and the touch snaps Chan back into reality.
The boy, probably sensing that something's up, stands as well and nods to Chan.
"I just gave her some food for the goats," he says.
Chan scrunches his eyebrows together, "Uh-huh."

I swallow thickly, unsure of what to do.
Finally, I say to the boy, "Thank you for helping me feed her."
Then I take Chan's hand and pull him a bit away.
"Why didn't you ask me to help you feed a goat?"
I look at Chan.
"Are you kidding me?" I can't help but laugh. "You're jealous because someone who actually works here helped me feed a goat?"
"No," Chan looks away but his cheeks turn red, "I don't like the way he looked at you."