Letters On Our Skin || BangChan

68

"Okay, everyone, let's go through it one more time from the top," Taeyoon speaks into a microphone.
The dancers get into position around Bahiyyih, waiting for the music to start.
We're on set, trying to figure out exact details, and everyone is exhausted.
We've been here for hours, yet Taeyoon does not seem satisfied yet.
Bahiyyih glances at me and smiles. We were chatting all day, checking in on each other, trying to stay sane while Taeyoon critiques every aspect of the choreography.
He's tough, but I appreciate his input. He has the experience and the knowledge that I have yet to acquire and I can feel myself soaking up all his tips and notes, no matter how harsh.

The music starts and I monitor the dancers beside Taeyoon, when he turns towards me with his eyes on Bahiyyih.
"You did not disappoint," he says to me, "To be honest, we were a little nervous because you're such a fresh talent without as much experience. But really, Olivia, this is incredible. You pulled through."
I can feel myself blush.
"Thank you," I say then, "It was such a great experience to work with this team. I am so beyond grateful, Taeyoon."
He smiles at me and then raises the microphone to his lips.
"Shin Thae, you know what I told you about flexing your feet like that," he says and the dancer immediately changes her foot position.
Taeyoon nods and announces, "Again, the last eight counts please." 

It goes on like this for another hour.
And then, as I'm about to check my phone, something shifts in the air.
An assistant approaches Taeyoon and they step away. I watch as she murmurs something to him and he visibly tenses, his whole body going stiff for a moment. The assistant shows him her tablet, and he takes it from her.
At the same time, someone in the back gasps loudly.
What I'm the world is going on?
Taeyoon snaps his fingers in my direction and calls over, "Olivia, can I talk to you for a second?"

A knot builds in my stomach and my mouth feels dry.
This can't be good.
I approach Taeyoon and his face is stern, almost austere.
"What's going on," I ask. "What happened?"
"We got a call a few minutes ago from your boss, Jung Wook," he turns the iPad towards me, "He wasn't happy and asked for you to meet him at his office right now. I think he just saw this."
My eyes fall onto the screen and my stomach drops.
My hands fly to my mouth.

The title is simple, but clear.

SKZ' BANG CHAN IS DATING JYPE DANCER

The pictures beneath are strikingly high definition. I immediately recognize myself and Chan. We're seated next to each other at a table in Hoshi's Rice and Noodle Palace.
I reach out my hand and scroll down.
Five pictures in total, all of them showing Chan and me kissing, holding hands, sharing food.
This can't be happening.
We were so careful.

And then I remember.
I saw something flashing. I didn't think too much about it, but now I realize I should have known. It was a camera.
How could I have been so stupid?
It's getting harder and harder to breathe, the longer I stare at the pictures. I want to claw at my skin. I want to run away and hide. I want to throw up.
I can feel tears brim my eyes and I drive my hands over my face.

"Oh god," I say. "Oh, no."
"Okay, now calm down," Taeyoon turns to shield me from the other people on set, "Collect yourself. You need to put on a strong face right now, so this doesn't blow up even further. There is a car waiting for you outside, so go freshen up and then meet with your boss."
The assistant takes me gently by my elbow and starts leading me off set, sending someone to collect my backpack.
While she leads me to a restroom, she rubs my arm and whispers, "It's going to be okay, don't worry."
But I know she's just trying to calm me down.

I barely register how I get into the car. All I can think about is Chan.
I try calling him, desperate to hear his voice, but he's not answering.
Does he know yet?
Is he mad at me? He has every reason to be. I asked him to kiss me, it's my fault.
I ruined his life.
What will they do to him now?
My thoughts spin out of control and my body acts on autopilot.

I enter the JYP building and find the way to Jung Wook's office, but I don't even notice if someone sees me. My heart is beating out of my chest, I can't breathe.
Chan is not waiting in front of the office's door. Part of me had hoped Jung Wook wants to talk to the both of us together, and that I wouldn't have to face him all by myself.
But I am alone, and there is no one here to protect me.

The lady at the desk in front of the office stands from her seat.
"Olivia," she says, "Mr. Jung is waiting for you."
She knocks and opens the door, announcing me, before stepping aside so I can enter.
The room looks exactly the way I remember it, but it feels colder. Jung Wook is sitting silently at his desk, his hands folded in front of his face that is absolutely emotionless.  His dark eyes follow me as I step into the room and tentatively take a seat on one of the chairs in front of his large desk.
I swallow thickly, and I don't know wether or not I should say something.

Jung Wook opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out a thick stack of paper, that he places with a thud in front of himself, before he leans back again.
"Olivia," he says and his voice is dripping with disappointment, "What in the world were you thinking?"