MEMORIES OF YOU

CHAPTER FORTY FOUR - HER PAST

Xavier POV

I run my hands at the back of Charlotte naked bodies, I stroke it lightly to make her go to the deep chamber.

I have never been this insatiable to other women. She makes me go horny just by mere touch.

I kissed the tip of her while her head resting on top of my chest. She always likes my baby for now.

My mom keeps on telling me to give her grandchildren. I told her I am working on it. I never thought she would open it to everyone.

Actually I never used any protection nor did she. She never said she's on the pill. So I am excited to get pregnant. I just hope that everything will be alright.

The other day she told me about what happened in the past. I felt her pain when she told me about it.

"Xavier!" She called me, making me frown.

"What's the matter baby?" I asked her since I felt her hold tighten and she stiffened when I asked her.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Sure baby! Just please don't say you are breaking up with me. Because that's one thing I would never agree to!"

"Ok, I don't know if after this you will want me. But still I wanted to be honest with you. I don't want to hide anything. I just want to be an open closet to you!" She said, making me more nervous.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't I want you? I not just want you babe, I love you. How many times do I need to tell you that!" I said to her,

No matter how many times I keep saying to her that I love her. Sometimes she said, ''What if I fall out of love with her. Hahahah.. silly of her? Did I fall out of love? I was the one who's scared of losing her.

I don't even want to think about it. Not having her in my arms would make me go crazy. No, don't think about it. It won't happen, she will never leave me. I will always make her stay with me no matter what.

"Ok... can I start talking now?" She said to me then I grabbed her and made her sit on my lap. I am just comfortable without her not being close to me.

Her natural scents make me feel relaxed and at peace. I was not a believer in prayers before but now I keep on praying that she won't think of leaving me.

I have this fear that one day she will wake up then she will leave me again. Then disappear without a trace again. I don't want to experience that nightmare.

I really need to ask her to marry me. I kept on asking her to move with me but she always said no. I really want to wake up next to her everyday.

"Ok baby start!" I soas as I kiss her on the cheeks making her blush.

"Hmmm... I have lost two years of memories of my past Xavier!" When she said those I halted. My body stiffened as I knew what kind of talk she's going to do.

"My sister was the one who told me about this since I can't remember anything about that time especially the night me and my parents had an accident!"

"She said I called her on her phone, crying. She siad I told her that it hurts, please come and get me, I am so hurt! Hearing this my parents immediately drove to the place where I stated them to meet!"

"She siad that she didn't come with them since she have assignment on that time. It was only my parents who drove and fetch me!"

"On our way home, it happened. Our car was towed with a big truck. That night I lost parents and then what's next makes me feel so lost even after now!"

I can feel her sobbing. Shit! She's crying because of me. I am such an idiot for hurting her.

"When I woke up, two months since the accident happened. I found out , I not just lost my parents but I lost my baby too!" That makes her cry even more. I held her close to me.

I am shocked beyond shocked to be exact. She's pregnant at that time? Then what the hell am I doing? She kept and held it all alone because I am such an idiot.

I shouldn't make her see that I am hurting but what can I do? I know I am the only one who knows about this. I am the father of that child.

"What's more painful is that I don't even know who's the father of the baby. Everytime I think about it. I thought I am such a weak person for losing my own child and even not knowing that person! Did he know about our child? I have so many questions for him! But I guess I need to wait for a while. Just like you said, maybe I just need a little breath and just let it come back to me!" She said,

I made her face me and I hugged her so badly that I didn't want to let her go. Because I know when she's going to remember everything, she will hate me.

The fact that she's crying on the phone calling her sister and asking her parents to come over and get her. I know for sure I hurted her so badly that she wanted to be away from me.

At this moment, I felt like my world could crash anytime soon. Which makes me feel anxious. I don't want to let her go. Not now that I know she got pregnant before. She's my responsibility.

I think faith gives me another chance to make up for her. To give her a life and love that she wanted. Which I won't hesitate to give.

I'll do anything to make this happy with Me so that she won't get hurt and be in pain. And I will always remind her that I love her and that she will be my world as long as I live.