Kalina never knew much about her family, only that she had brothers, a mother and a father who never wanted her. After the abuse her mother put her through, Kalina was broken beyond repair. With the help from a motorcycle gang she built herself back...
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Christopher guided me inside, and told me everything that had happened. Everything I believed was a lie. The reality wasn't that my father didn't want me, but that he never knew about me. Daniel was wrong when he said Christopher wasn't a father, because to him he wasn't.
I didn't say a word as Christopher walked me step by step the way my mother stole away the childhood I was meant to have with the brothers and father who were desperate for a girl in the family. Every word he said was more clearly true as he spoke.
Now, we sat silently at the dining room table. Neither of us said anything since Christopher finished his explanation.
"Kalina...please say something." Christopher begged.
"What do you expect me to say?" I resorted, an empty look on my face.
"Anything." He answered, a desperate look on his face.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" I asked, waiting for him to reveal the truth about his mafia.
He didn't say anything for a moment, before shaking his head 'no'.
With that, I rose from my seat and headed to the kitchen, already knowing Christopher was already following me. I took an apple out the fruit bowl and stared at Christopher.
"Where were you last night?" He asked.
"Why? Did you not use the tracker?" I said, taking a bite out of the apple.
Regretfully, he hung his head in shame, knowing I had caught him out in betraying his word to me. He said I would have to follow the same rules as the boys, but not once did he mention a tracker in the phone he bought for me.
"For that, I apologise. I know I broke the little trust you have in me, and that is my own responsibility." He said sincerely. "I guess after knowing I spent so long unaware of where you were, I didn't want that to happen again."
I leant on the counter top, not having forgiven him. "I was with a friend, and a friend of their's, I was safe and that's all I'm willing to say."
He nodded his head in understanding, "I'll take what I can get."
With that, I stood up straight and began leaving the room. But when he called out to me, I turned around to let him speak.
"You'll start school tomorrow with Tommaso and Tristan." Christopher said. "And Kalina, I am sorry."
Then I left him alone in the kitchen.
I went upstairs to my bedroom, and stripped of the clothes Aidan had given me to wear. I put on my own underwear, and changed into a pair of black ripped jeans and a white Arctic Monkeys shirt.
Once I put in the remainder of my piercings I didn't wear the night before, I laid down on my bed and left myself sink into the softness of the mattress. It was like the weight of all my problems came crashing down around me.
The tears that left my eyes could no longer be held back behind my water line, a way of presenting the pain I was truly feeling. For years, all I had longed for was a mother to love me, to hold me when I fell down, to tuck me into bed after a long day at school. All I simply wanted was a mother's love; and it was stolen away from me,
It was as if a knife ripped through my already wounded heart as I heard of the life I could've had. That the mother I had dreamed so desperately for was within reach, the drugs and the alcohol blinding her of the reality in which she lived. Every scratch and tare at the delicate layer of my soul was torn once again, and all I could do was cry as I caught every piece in my trembling hands.
I felt my throat tighten in warning, and the need for oxygen increasing as the air became thin and unreachable. With my hands over my mouth, I did everything I could to both catch my breath, and silence the sounds of my heart wrenching sobs and cries to those in the house. I didn't trust anyone here enough to see me in such a vulnerable state.
My entire body shook as the dizziness formed in my head, the tears continuously rolling down my red cheeks from my puffy eyes. The agony of every memory I held being as strong as the experience in itself. With every inhale, I felt less and less oxygen entering my exhausted body.
When the panting and struggle for breath became all too much, the churning in my stomach had my mind surfacing slightly on reality. Turning on my side, I prepared for the sick to barrel through my stomach. But as I did so, everything physical settled within me. The need to vomit subsided.
For a moment...
Feeling the bile rising in my throat once again, I bolted for the bathroom and hung my head over the toilet bowl. Reaching blindly for the phone in my pocket, I quickly searched through until my blurry vision landed on his name.
By the second ring, the phone was answered, and the tired voice of Ace sounded through the phone.
"A-a-a-c" I could barely get out.
This isn't the first time I've called Ace in a moment of weakness like this, and he knew exactly what to do.
"Count Kalina. Count with me.
1
2"
I did as he said, counting step by step with him. He waited patiently as I caught my breath enough to utter the next word. Every agonizing pulse within my body was fighting for my consciousness while my mind fought to overpower me.
"8
9
10"
We repeated this method three times until my breathing had evened out, and now the only sound of shakiness was the sniffle from my sobs. My back was now on the marble wall of the bathroom, head leant against the sink cabinet.
Ace was calm and collected while I was frantic and shattered. Every piece of my self-worth thrown like a puzzle before my feet. The drip of my tears on the tiled floor was the only sound on either end of the phone besides partially steady breathing.
"Kalina?" Ace spoke after a few minutes, the phone resting on speaker by my feet.
"Thank you." I whispered.
My throat was dryer than a nun's vagina at this point from all the panting I'd done. My lips chapped and bleeding from all the biting I did to them in my state of panic. Thank god my nails were cut down this time, as before I dug them so deep into my palm they began to bleed.
"Anytime darling." Ace replied. "Are you okay now?"
Ace could always tell when to back away and when to stay put. So after a moment when I muttered a small yes, that was all he needed to know, I truly was fine. Afterall he could read me like an open book.
He hung up the phone, leaving me to sigh as I leant against the expensive cabinet at my back. Looking at the time, I saw it was just before noon, and soon someone would likely come and see if I was willing to talk.
That's if Christopher hasn't called them all to discuss what I thought yet, which I'm sure he has.
Rising from my crouched position on the floor, and sure the feeling on nausea and sickness had passed, I splashed cold water from the tap onto my face, careful of how much I used to not trigger myself once again.
As I cleaned away the salty tears from my cheeks, I guided myself back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.
Wishing I could have changed everything bad that had ever happened to me.
