Life in the Underworld

24

Maybe if things were different, maybe if life didn't fuck me over, maybe if I had the childhood of peace and love I'd longed for, I would be so broken.

I've spent years coping with the fact that I was hated by my mother, desires by unwanted men, abandoned by my brother.

I learnt how to deal with the injuries of abuse and torture that I experienced throughout what was meant to be my happiest years. I've learnt to put a fake smile on my face as pretend everything is okay for the few who care. I've developed a phenomenal skill in makeup to hide the bruises of my soul.

The small bedside clock rattled in alarm, signalling the hour was up.

"Time to go." I mumbled as the man laid on top of me.

"I'm not finished yet." He responded, trailing sloppy kisses along my neck.

I tried shoving him off of me, but it was futile. He simply wouldn't budge. Struggling beneath his weight, I screamed and cried for help despite being aware no one truly would.

As he began shuffling to the position he was in moments before the alarm went off, the bedroom door slammed open.

"Kalina!"

In walked my mother, a sadistic grin on her face as usual.

"Kalina wake up!"

"It'll cost you another ten pound for an hour." She spoke.

Instead of answering, as he groped and attacked my body, the man took twenty pound out his wallet and chucked it at her.

"Enjoy"

"KALINA."

Shivering beneath the sheets, sweating glistening across my forehead as fear swept across my face. I could tell it was still night outside from the darkness of the room,  but what stood out was Aidan's face above mine.

A look of confusion and worry was all I could see in his expression. His giant hands were resting on my small shoulders. He sat there shirtless as his chest heaved as he panted.

The moment my eyes met Aidan's, relief washed over his features, dropping his head down slightly. I gave him a look of permission when he silently asked, and I shuffled over further into the middle of the bed. He took the space I was in, climbing beneath the blankets.

I leaned into Aidan's open arms, relaxing in his hold.  He simply sat there in silence and let me calm down in his arms.

"What happened?" Aidan questioned after god knows how long.

"Just a nightmare." I mumbled.

"A nightmare or memory?" Aidan said. The tone of his voice showed there was no way of me getting out of this.

Not unless I really wanted to.

Am I ready though?

"Memory." My voice was barely a whisper.

Aidan didn't speak, letting my answer hang in the air. Waiting to see if there was more I wanted to say.

I considered not saying anything. Allowing the world of hell to swallow me whole once more and destroy everything I hold.

"My mother...was a despicable woman." I began, sounding as stupid as it did, it was the only way I could describe her. "She would whore herself around the city to make money that would feed her alcohol and drug addiction. If it weren't for my brother Daniel, I would've starved from her negligence by the time I was a month old.

But when men stopped taking an interest in her as she got older, she used me instead.

On a nighttime when Daniel was out with the guys or when I was supposed to be at school, she'd take me to her regular bar. No one there protested as I looked sixteen and they were high off of their asses.

I was ten.

I missed seven-hundred and nighty-two days in total of school. It wasn't until Daniel walked in on one of the 'sessions' did he realise what was happening and killed the man. That was when he introduced me to the club. I moved in with them two days later with Daniel."

Aidan's grip tightened significantly on my body, an expression of horrifying angle spread across his face. There was nothing but fury burning in his eyes as he stared at the wall opposite me.

Is he mad at me?

"Please say something." I practically begged, voice cracking as I held back tears.

His gaze snapped from the wall to my own, his eyes softened slightly as he stared down at me. His murderous gaze made me retreat into the pillows, fear of his anger being aimed at me.

"You deserve the world." He began, wiping away the first tear that fell with the pad of his thumb. "These nightmares and memories are in the past; you'll never experience something so painful again."

"You can't guarantee that." The tears continued to flow down my cheeks as I leant closer into his hold.

"I can." Aidan replied, "because I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you're safe."

That night, I fell asleep peacefully beside Aidan, who promised he'd stay all night like I had asked. I don't know why, but I feel so safe beside him. Being in his presence is comforting to me, like nothing and no one can hurt me once again.

There are very few people I feel that way with, and the moment I met them and felt that sense of security, I knew they'd be in my life forever. I felt it with Teddy, Ace and Jamie. I felt it it when Maddie embraced me in a hug for the first time. I felt it when Daniel would rock me to sleep in his arms.

I felt it with Tristan the first night he ran into my bedroom.

I just hope I haven't worried him with staying our all night.