kiss you goodbye

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as much as I wished for the time to freeze, time moved at its pace yet fast for me. Neither he nor I slept the whole night and we knew it, just laying down in each other's arms. The alarm rang and it really hit me, they're leaving in a few hours, he is leaving in a few hours. Silently we got up and started getting ready, I showered while sun prepared his bags, and when he showered, I got the kids milk ready just in case they wake up, along with coffee for him and I. Kids were in their sleeping sac, soundly asleep. Sun rolled his bags out in the living room and walking in the kitchen, we silently sipped our coffee looking at the few cars passing down the road at dawn.

"We're taking the cab, lads are taking the car and the driver will drop you and anna back." He scrolled through his phone, I guess reading from his messages. Another 10 mins of sipping our now cold coffees, sun informed the cab's here. I picked up the kids and their bag while he carried his bag, taking my handbag and diaper bag from me.

When we reached the airport, it became clear that the boys had already arrived, seeing the crowd of paps and fans. I put noise cancelling headphones for kids, switching on the soothing music so that they don't get up from their sleep. Tears were making their way in my eyes as I further walked down to the entrance along with sun, seeing lads and anz. 

"Good Morning sissy." Ni spoke in a cheery voice, making me even close to crying.

"Good morning." I forced the words out of my throat which was aching from keeping my tears in. Li and Z took the kids from me. I looked at everyone, and took it all in, this is it, this is the part where they leave for months. Paul and Mark came from behind the boys along with two more colleagues of his, whom I've never seen before. Strange.

"It's time to leave." Paul broke the silence, not exactly silence since the paps and fans were there but the silence between us seven (boys, anz and me) was deafening. Lads nodded and then Mark spoke up.

"They're going to be your bodyguards, this is Noah and this is Henry." I was shocked and so was anz, I didn't need anyone to protect me. Noah was olive skin, dark haired, grey eyes, tall and buff man but couldn't be aging more than 30 years and same was henry, except he was white and had blonde hair, actually buzzcut along with green eyes. Just as I was going to protest, mark continued.

"They're going to be with you 24/7, in the lads home, you both are shifting there. Noah is going to be with cherry and Henry with Anna and before you start, no I'm not going to listen to you and yes you both do need protection." I sighed and stood defeated. 

"Sir the plane is ready." an airport official informed us (more like Paul). Harry came forward with a sad smile and hugged me. It's so hard to see them leave but I held my tears in. Harry moved to anna and one by one each of the boys hugged us. The last to hug anz was Ni and to hug me was sun. I looked at him, he was standing infront of me, I put my hand on his cheek, touching him, feeling him in any way I could. He caressed my hand, which was on his cheek, pulled me forward and kissed me- the point when I broke down in hysterics. I fisted my hand around his shirt, crying and kissing. He pulled apart and wiped my tears but there was no end to them. He was starting to tear up too, so he pushed my head into his chest, running his fingers through my hair.

"please just.. just say the words 'don't go' please." sun whispered. It sucked the life out of me to watch them leave but I know it had to be done, and I can't be selfish to stop them. I want nothing more to see them grow. He kissed me once again, in a more urgent one, begging me through the kiss to say those two words but I stayed put. I tried to pull away, but he squeezed my waist tighter burying his head in my neck, I put my hands on his wrists and slowly pulled away. As soon as I broke the hug he was pulled by the security team, I realised- only he and I were left, rest of the boys were already going through security check-in and anz and kids were nowhere to be found but I know they're somewhere safe. I was still crying hysterically, I turned around only to feel dizzy and being blinded by white flashes. 

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