Healed By Love

CHAPTER 27

AUDELIA'S POV

3 words- I trust you

He trusts me.

He believes me despite everything I accused him of.

Despite certain things being against me, he trusts me.

Do I trust him?

Do I believe him?

Despite everything not in his favour?- I think so.

I am not sure.

Its at times like these that I think feelings and emotions are overrated. They have done nothing but be a hurdle in my life, complicating already complicated things and preventing me from reaching a firm decision that could relieve me of all the overthinking.

It has been two weeks since that night. 14 days since the interaction at the club. 336 hours since he said those three words. 20160 minutes since he turned everything inside me into mush. Since he turned everything upside down.

Especially me.

I have forgotten how to think rationally these past days. I no longer know what to do. What to say. What to think. What to believe. Who to trust. What to feel. What is right. What is wrong. It feels like the compass that has been guiding me through my hardest time is now broken and I lost my way inside my mind and heart.

My heart and mind are at a constant war. It feels like they are the two plates of a scale balance. Just as one starts to tilt to one side, the other tilts equally, nullifying the effect and rendering me indecisive about the situation.

In short, I feel more confused than I have ever been in my entire life. Never once had I expected to hear someone from the Italian mafia to say that they trusted me. Let alone him- their boss.

Contrary to his words, during these two weeks he has never once talked to me. The few times we actually met were when we were with the others, discussing new strategies as the Russians continue their attacks. I did not even bother to try to talk to him either. Not when I have yet to sort my feelings because I have no idea what I will do if I find myself in a room alone with him.

Last time we were alone things escalated quickly as we both nearly crossed the thin line we have been threading since the first night we met.

At the club, when I made the bold assumption that he likes me, neither did he accept nor did he refuse which only adds to my inner turmoil.

Do I actually like him?

The way he looked at me, touched me, felt me, the words he said and everything that happened are completely contradicted by his actions and words of this week which are nothing.

However I know that I am partly responsible for the way he is acting. After all, I was the one who bombarded him with accusations when he had not even brought up that he also suspected my dad of siding with the Russians.

Though, what I did was what I was trained to do my entire life. It’s only been three months or so since we have been working together. Trusting someone who has been trying to kill your family under such short time is like giving him the gun and standing in front of the barrel all from your own stupid choices.

It’s just complicated and twisted in such a way that makes me want –crave- more but at the same time despise it.

His constant presence around the house does nothing but cloud my mind, preventing me from seeing things clearly. I never missed my apartment more than I did during these two weeks.

Like I said, everything has been turned upside down.

“You know I like you better when you are a pain in the ass.” Lucas’ voice from behind me surprises me slightly as he gets on the roof, sitting down next to me and looking at the surroundings of the mansion.

“What makes you think I want you to like me?” I scoff, letting out an annoyed breath while he stretches his hands over his head like he cannot sense the irritation rippling like waves from me. “Besides I was not attempting to make you like me.”

“Nice spot you have right here.” He nods to himself as he looks around.

“What are you doing here?” I nearly throw my hands up in exasperation. “How did you even find this place?”

We are on the roof of the mansion which can only be accessed through the secret passage my mom had gotten built in the library of our house. Ever since she showed me this spot, it has become my favourite in the entire house. Whenever I feel distressed or just need some alone time, I always find myself here.

From up here, I can see the entire surrounding and a clear view of the beautiful sky. It feels like an oasis of serenity amidst my chaotic life. What makes it even better is that people cannot actually see me from down except it they focus a lot.

“I am the best spy of our mafia for a reason.” He has a cocky smile on his lips.

“More like the most self-absorbed person of your mafia.”

“Trust me, that title goes to Gio.”

I sigh. “I like you better when you mind your own business.”

“So you do like me.” I look at him in disbelief, his usual stoic face replaced by amusement which actually surprises me.

“Who are you and where did the idiot version of you go?”

“You call me Einstein and idiot. Looks like you are confused.” I have no doubt my face clearly shows the irritation mixed with disbelief.

“What do you want Lucas?” I turn to look in front of us, the light breeze brushing my face. “Just say it and stop bothering me already.”

I hear him sigh beside me. “I am not the one bothering you but something else or someone else is.” His words confuse me.
“Don’t you have to go out with others? Did Giovanni and Lorenzo exclude you from your group that you have to revert to my company?”

“I-“

I cut him off. “Because are you not the same person who said ‘Thank god I never get stuck with you’, ?”

He lets out a groan and I roll my eyes. “That’s not the point.”

“Enlighten me on what is then.”

“You.” I look at him, confused with an eyebrow raised. “And your attitude.”

“I’m sorry but you are not my mom or anything to point out my attitude issues.” My eyes narrow at him. “We are not even friends.”

“I am not your mom or friend,” He starts. “But I am Enzo’s friend.”

“How does Lorenzo fit in this conversation?”

“This conversation is about him.” He informs, making me frown. “And you.” He adds

“It would not be any different if you talked in Italian since I am not understanding anything anyway.”

“I think you understand perfectly what I am trying to say.” His playful tone turns into a serious one as he pins me with a serious look.

I sigh as he speaks up again. “Just like you, Enzo has been in this shitty mood for two weeks and both of you started behaving like that after the night at the club.”

“So?” I say, meeting his eyes and not letting my inner thoughts be shown.

“Well, I don’t think this is a coincidence.”

“Well, you should not think that often since you are bad at it.” I say in a similar tone as his, preparing to get up but his hand close around my wrist, pulling me down.

“Cut the crap Audelia and what happened that night?”

“None of your business.” I reply firmly, getting my hand out of his grip.

“It does because I am at the receiving end of Enzo’s stupid attitude and right now, yours.” I scoff. “And, Enzo is my best friend, I care about him. If there is something bothering him and it is something I can fix, I need to know.”

“Since you two are so close, go ask him.”

“You think I did not try?”

“Did you not get your answers from your best friend then?” I roll my eyes. “Thought you two were close.”

“He is stubborn and closed off. I think by now you now that too.”

“I don’t.” My gaze slice his. “I don’t have that much free time to go studying your best friend.”

“We both know you are lying.” He says, his eyes glinting with a strange amusement for a split second.

“Fuck off Einstein.”

“Something happened that night between you two while Gio, Valeria and I were not with you two. What was it Audelia?”

“What makes you think that questioning me will get you different results from Lorenzo?”

“The fact that you are not as cold as you want people to think you are and that you actually care about other people’s feeling besides your family. You try to hide it but let’s be real here, you have developed a side of you that cares about others, especially Enzo.”

I burst out laughing despite the fact that I feel a slight nervousness. “That is such a great joke.”

“Stop lying to yourself.”

“Why do you think I care about him?” I say between my laughs.

“The way you look at him says everything.” I roll my eyes, my laughter slowly dying.

“Listen Audelia, I am trying to solve whatever shit went down between you two because I don’t want Lorenzo to go through this whole falling for a girl and getting hurt shit again.”

I stay quiet and he continues. “And frankly, I don’t want to see you like this either.”

“Lucas-“ I start but he cuts me off.

“I know we are not exactly friends but its not like we are enemies or anything. I just want what is best for him and maybe for you too.” He mumbled the last part to himself that somehow manages to earn a small smile from me.

“Can you just tell me what happened or I am going to lock the two of you in a room and have you work it out by yourselves.”
I am sure he sees the horror on my face as he smiles. “So, is there something you want to tell me?”

What could go wrong?- Everything