Healed By Love

CHAPTER 44

AUDELIA'S POV

As I stand in front of the double, silvery gate of the cemetery, I cannot help the weight-the guilt- that weighs down on me. A random gust out of nowhere send a shiver down my spine, making my hairs stand on their end, my sage green midi dress flowing with it.

My hands close around the medium-sized bouquet of lilies- my mother's favourite flowers- as I hold it closer to my body. While I am still staring at the gated entrance, lost in a trance, I feel Lorenzo step up behind me. The next second, his suit jacket is on my shoulders.

"Are you alright?" He asks, both his hands circling my waist and coming to rest on my abdomen, pulling me back into him.

"Yeah." I say despite the nerves. "Just a little bit nervous."

"It will be fine." He reassures me, pressing a light kiss at the side of my head.

"Let's go." I release a sigh, hoping to alleviate the heaviness on me.

Lorenzo's hands slip away as he moves to stand behind me. I throw him a confused look over my shoulder. However, he just gives me an encouraging look. "I am right behind you."

I set my lips in a thin line and remain silent, knowing that I need to do this on my own. It's the least I can do for my mom after not visiting her at all since her funeral. I owe her this for the countless things she has done for me which cannot be repaid.

"Alright." I say under my breath, walking through the gates of the cemetery.

I am immediately struck by the stillness that prevails around the place. The air is heavy with silence, and the only sounds that penetrate the stillness are the occasional rustling of the leaves due to the gusts or the distant chirping of the birds. Though, despite the calmness and tranquillity, the sorrow in the air can be felt.

Rows of headstones stretch out before me, each one representing the final resting place someone who lived and was loved. The headstones vary in size and state. Some are old and weathered, the inscriptions barely legible after years of exposure to the elements. On the other hand, others are new and polished, with beautiful and intricate lines and inscriptions.

As I walk down the path that circles around the headstones, the guilt resurfaces. My eyes fall on the headstones adorned with flowers or other mementos, left by families and friends who come to visit the ones they lost.

I cannot help but wonder what happened to tombstone of my mother. Are the carvings and engravings still visible? Has it been taken care of? How long has it been bared of any flowers. How since anyone paid her a visit?

As I near her grave, my feet feel heavy and so does my heart. The footsteps of Lorenzo behind me gives me a little bit of courage and I clutch the bouquet in my hands.

A few feet away from her grave, I freeze. The grey tombstone is still dull and dismal with plain white carvings reading 'Cordelia Rose Hernandez'. The only pop of colour are the green vines swirling around the base of the tombstone, dew formed on the green backdrop shining like little diamonds.

I throw a glance behind me and see Lorenzo standing a few feet behind me, giving me space but his eyes are fixed on me. Releasing a breath, I kneel in front of the tombstone, my hands feeling shaky and clammy despite the cold around us. With shaky hands, I move the vines away from the gloomy structure and in its place, place the bouquet of flowers carefully.

"Hey mom." I start awkwardly, my voice shaking just like my hands. I interlace my fingers on my lap, fumbling around to reduce the anxiety but to no vain.