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*that night*

i yawned as i closed my laptop and set it to the side. i'm fucking thirsty. smoothie? water? i don't know... smoothie. i got off my bed and made my way downstairs. once i'm in the kitchen the light is already on and my brother is on the floor. i furrow my brows in confusion. "sam?" i ask and approach his figure. "y/nnnn.." he slurs as he slowly flops onto his back. "i miss. missed you" he says with a toothy smile. "i missed you too..." i smile softly. "i didn't drink!" he says louder then before and has a confused look on his face.

i sigh. "let's get you to bed sam. come on." i said and crouch down next to him pulling his arm over my shoulder. "where are you taking me..?" he says as i pull him up. "to bed, you need to sleep." i rub his back for a second and begin to walk him to the stairs. "how much did you drink?" i looked at him. "mmmm..." he thought for a moment. "i didn't count anymore after 4... but not that muchhhh officer i swear." he raises his free hand and looks at me with wide eyes.

"sam it's me, y/n. i'm not the cops and i'm taking you to your room." i remind him. as we approach the steps i look forward. "ok we have to be careful and quieter so mom doesn't come out. you ready?" i say. sam nods as if his head is gonna fall off. we take our time and there was a moment when he almost fell backwards but i pulled him in time. once i get him to his room he plops down on his bed. "ok sam. i'm gonna get you some water" i say pulling his blanket over him.

"you want the fan on?" sam opens his eyes and looks at me. "yes. i need my fan to live!" he says louder. "shhh ok i'll turn it on..." i giggle quietly. sam smiles at me. "thank youuuuuu..." he drags. i nod and go back downstairs to get him a cup of water. once i get back to sams room i hand him the water and remind him to sit up. he surprisingly, does so quickly. he had a look of excitement as his eyes locked into the water. "your the best officer. you didn't have to take me home and get me water!" he whispers as he takes the cup from my hand. "ice too?" he smiles and starts chugging. "slow down, and remember i'm not an officer." i laugh at him.

"y/n!" he gasps pulling the cup from his mouth. "when did you get homeeeeee..." he sets the cup on his nightstand almost spilling it. "try to get some sleep." i smile and walk to the door. "don't tell mom..." i hear him whisper. i face him once more. "i won't you know that." i turn the knob. "little sis to the rescue" he slurred and i heard him laugh at his own words, while i closed the door. i walked back to the kitchen made my favorite smoothie before heading back to my room.

when i open my bedroom door i see my mom rummaging through my suitcase. "what are you doing?" i say sternly. she quickly faces me and looks upset. "nothing. it's my house so everything in it is mine. don't worry about it." she says and continues back to my suitcase. "mom get out." i roll my eyes. "i don't have any autographs or anything for you to try and steal from me then sell." i cross my arms and approach her. she lets out a frustrated groan. "go ask your rich husband for money or something." i say and pull my suitcase away from her. "your so selfish." she mumbles.

"you try this everytime. i'm not stupid." i zip the case back up and set it on the opposite side of the bed. "do you love me?" she asks wish the same expression. i face her fully and look at her. "do you love me?" i ask her. she says nothing and walks toward my door. "can't wait till your out of this house" she mumbles before closing the door. i then walk to the door as her footsteps disappear down the hallway. i lock my door and walk back to my bed. i look down at my nightstand and smile. i bought gummies before i left on the tour.

i laughed to myself and leaned over opening the drawer, i grabbed the container and pulled a gummy out. (guys this is special weed gummy just so ur informed. 😍) i quickly ate it and swallowed. (we swallow round here 😈) over 30 minutes goes by and i start to feel it. the slow escalation of my high. it has arrived. i grab my remote and go onto youtube. i look around the room, suddenly being able to hear every single noise. my eyes shift back to the tv screen as my body fills with relaxation. this is what i needed.

life is stressful, yes. but i don't know how i truly feel about being on the media. the idea of people finding out who i am, knowing my name, it's overwhelming to think of. honestly props to celebs, if they mess up once, or do anything really, somebody's always mad. people are hateful and act like they have never made mistakes. i can understand if it's something bigger, like being racist, or homophobic, transphobic, or just being a disgusting human being. but. some people just always get mad.

ok my brain gotta stop thinking. these are the high thoughts. (i'm like actually high rn... 😭 i'm sorry guys) i put on the simpsons (shutup. it's enjoyable to watch when high. 😣😣) and started on a random episode. the rest of my high was filled with random thoughts that led into deeper thoughts but they weren't negative. i was just thinking about outer space... galaxies... the earth. random shit. but eventually i fell asleep.

(a/n: high sleep is the best sleep ‼️ unless you greening out ‼️)

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