decisions (tom kaulitz x reader)

• 17 •

*the next day*

i'm not gonna lie... i barely slept last night. me and tom went upstairs after the movie was over and he was out like a light. me on the other hand. i was sitting in the window sill, staring at the driveway. i just felt anxious. it's gonna be my first week all alone since everything happened. once the sun came up and i heard tons alarm go off, i got off the window sill, and tried rushing to the bed but tom already saw me awake. his squinted eyes stared into mine. "y/n?" he groaned. "it's 4 in the morning... why the fuck are you awake." he said as he sat up and stretched his arms.

i shrugged and crawled into the bed. "is it cause i'm leaving?" he asked. "yeah. just nervous." i laid back onto the bed and pulled the blanket over me, getting comfortable. "get sleep today. you can't be up all night it's bad for you." he rubbed my back. "i'll sleep when you leave. but for now i'm staying awake." i smiled a bit. tom smiled and his hand broke contact. tom got dressed before shoved clothes into 2 suitcases. since his clothes are too big he NEEDS his suitcases. me and tom talked about random shit while he got ready.

"i'm gonna text you, call you, and all that to make sure your good... and cause i'll miss you." he smiled and his face got close to mine. he looked at me, basically asking. i smiled and nodded. he pressed his lips to mine and it took us a good minute to pull away. his lips were soft and his lip ring always brushed against me. i love that lip ring. "i love you" i smiled. "i love you too" he said before kissing me once more. "be safe you dumbass!" i shouted after him. i saw his hand appear in the room. his middle finger waving in the air before it went out of view. "CUNT" he shouted making me laugh. but my laughter died down as i heard the door close. i quickly rushed over to the window and saw tom walking toward a van. the driver grabbed toms things and bill slid the door open. i saw his lips moving but i couldn't hear shit.

i sadly watched as tom looked over at the house before getting inside and they were off. i'm happy tom and bill get to live their dreams and make music, and i'm happy bill dragged me everywhere with them. i laugh at the thought. he doesn't drag me, he always makes sure i'm invited. but when it comes to those interviews where they go away for a while, i can only sometimes tag along on those. i miss bill though. i should have him come over toms or i should just show up at his house when he comes back.

i close the curtain and walk over to the bedroom door closing it. i look at the lock, staring at it for a moment. those men pop into my mind. "it's tom!" i hear the man's voice echo through my mind. i silence the voice and lock the door. i take a deep breath. "they are gone y/n." i whisper before going into bed. i cuddle up under the blankets. at first it was hard to sleep but since i was exhausted, i found a comfy position and my slumber began.

***

my eyes flutter open. i observe the room trying to fully wake up. i get out of bed and make my way downstairs. it's so boring now. what am i supposed to do with myself. i walk around the big house in search of something interesting. i come across a canvas aswell as some paint. i take it out and sit on the floor. i lay the canvas out and open up the paint. i start painting with my hands and blending colors together to make different shades. i turned music on in the background and just listened to the music while i went ham on the once clean canvas displayed infront of me. i made vines and an old well in the middle of a grass field. and sitting on the edge of the well was a woman's silhouette.

the woman was painted all black to resemble darkness. the meaning of the painting is to signify someone surrounded by beautiful things can still suffer. the well shows the endless amount of problems the woman has, and her sitting on the edge looking down shows she's the only one who really knows about the problems. while she may have a lot of good displayed to the world, she still has her problems. i smile down actually proud of my work. it has alot of detail for using just my hands. i get up rushing to the sink and cleaning myself. once the paints mostly gone i dry my hands and pick up the paint and check the floor to make sure nothing splattered. i pick up the painting setting it on the counter to dry. i sigh and go to the living room. i grab my phone from my pocket and see tom texted me. "hopefully you got sleep, i know it's hard to be alone right now, and if anything happens you text me or call me and i'll make them drive me back down to you."

i read toms message and smiled. "i did. took a fat nap on your side of the bed instead of mine :)" i sent. "ik ik have fun and try to enjoy the interviews. ik they arent always your favorite but u will pull thru u always do <3" i sent a second message before going to the kitchen to find something to eat for dinner.

(a/n: hopefully this story is good so far i can't always tell when i write stories if it all makes sense or if it's good cause i'm slow as a mf 😭👍)