decisions (tom kaulitz x reader)

• 25 •

it was late now, tom and bill stayed with me in the hospital all day. it was nice. it felt like old times, but without tom being a fucking asshole. "i'm gonna stay y/n. i can't leave after that." bill stated. "bill you can't stay here all the time." i laughed. they are gonna kick you out anyways. they only let family stay nights." i smile at him. "actually that's false, they allow any adult that's friends or family to stay." he raised his brows matter of factly. "i mean if you want to you can-" i said. "no bill go home, i'll stay." tom cut through me. i furrowed my brows and looked at him. "woah. she's my best friend and technically you guys are broken up right now." bill crossed his arms.

my eyes widened. "bill- !" i said. "doesn't matter! i'm gonna stay tonight." tom stated. then these assholes started arguing in german. after a while of me watching them go back and forth, bill sighed. "fine." bill said, clearly not happy but he seemed to be convinced by whatever tom said. tom smiled to bill. "thank you, now visiting hours are ending soon. so... get on with it." tom said motioning his hand toward me. bill rolled his eyes but quickly smiled as he made his way to me. "stay safe ok?" he whispered and hugged me tightly. "have fun with ash." i giggled. bill pulled away. "i'm not seeing ash tonight! i canceled because i was gonna stay here with you." he laughed. "then text her! tell her to come to your house." i smirked.

bill laughed before he left. soon after a nurse came in. "visiting hours are over-" she began sweetly. "yes yes i know, i'm staying the night i already talked to the front desk earlier." tom smiled. "oh! ok perfect. have a good night." she sent us a warm smile before exiting. tom sat on the couch. "so how did you convince bill?" i asked. tom shrugged before his eyes met mine. "cause he knows im right." he smiled. "and besides, why would i leave you alone after that?" he questioned as if i asked something stupid. i stayed quiet. i looked at tom he seemed more serious now. "i just want to know why..." he said quietly. i shrugged. "i don't know. it just gets like that sometimes." i responded.

"what do you mean?" he looked me in my eyes. he looked guilty again, probably waiting for me to confirm his own thoughts. "i don't know tom." i looked down at my lap. he stayed quiet now. until he didn't. "is it because of me? did i... did i make you feel that way?" he asked. i stared into my lap, anxiety coursing through my veins. "it's a lot of things tom, not you specifically. i guess just life you know?" i looked at him again. "but i made you feel that way too? i added onto it?" he asked. his eyes went to the floor. the weight of this conversation made the air around me feel heavy. "there's just too much that's happened. i haven't dealt with it, i try to. but i don't do everything i can to deal with it. it's not your fault tom, don't blame yourself." o tried reassuring him.

tom came over to the bed and sat down next to my hip. he looked at me. "i know i shouldn't have done that to you. i don't really know why i did. but i'm not gonna excuse what i did either, i already did that. i just get jealous when it comes to you. i want you for myself, but that's selfish of me. i can't keep you from other people just because of my own thought process." his eyes wandered to his lap again. "but i am sorry y/n." he nodded and looked at me again. i smiled slightly. "this is the only chance your getting tom, if it gets fucked up again i'm not just gonna let you back in. i want to love you for you, not for who i'm waiting for you to be." i sat up.

"so, i'll be with you again... and be by your side through your flaws, as long as your flaws aren't intentionally to hurt me. that shit was on the news tom. people know. and i don't know what else they have said about you but, you are a celebrity you can't just make careless decisions like that. it gives you a bad rep. that's how a lot of celebrities fall. even just one rumor can fuck up your future. you have to be careful." i rubbed his shoulder slowly. tom smiled at me. "i love you y/n" he leaned in and kissed me gently on my lips. i pulled away quickly. "tom. i've been in the hospital. i haven't brushed my teeth you gross bitch." i laughed.

tom rolled his eyes. "it's not like your tonguing my mouth." he chuckled. "still. it's embarrassing." i smiled. "whatever. i can't even taste it now get back here." he smiled and kissed me again. i smiled as i rested my forehead to his. "i love you too thomas the choo choo train." i said. tom pulled his face away from mine. "the fuck kind of nickname is that." he was giving me the stank eye. "the best one of course." i rolled my eyes and laid back down. i felt toms hands on either side of me as he suddenly hovered above me. he pecked my lips before carefully laying on my chest. "does it hurt or anything?" he asked. "no your good." i smiled as i played with his braids.

"let's get some sleep then tomorrow we can ask when i can go home." i whispered as i reached a hand over to turn the lights off. i went back to playing with his hair as adjusted his head on my chest. "goodnight y/n" tom said. "goodnight." i said back. eventually i fell asleep.

(a/n: i missed my tommy boo boo bear 😍😍😘😘😘😩😩🤪🤪😈😈😈💍💍💍)