Fire Phoenix

Chapter 34

"You seem off today, you good?" Dick asked winning our fight very easily. He wasn't wrong, I was off today, but I really didn't want to talk about it

I just nodded my head reaching for his hand helping me get up from the ground. "You want to go for another round." Dick joked obviously knowing he would win.

"No, I'm going to stay here and train on my own for a little while if you don't mind." I spoke while drinking from my water bottle. Dick just nodded before leaving me alone in the room.

That's when I broke down, anger, sadness, it all came out. I punched the punching bag so much it fell to the ground, I ended up burning a few things in the room.

After 20 minutes of being a complete wreck I slid down the wall onto the ground looking at the mess of a room there was. Luckily no one came in during my breakdown, so no one saw and hopefully didn't hear anything.

I cried for another eternity. Just the past few weeks worth of shit all bursting out now, the argument with Jason, my parent's death date coming up, finding out I could potentially burn the world.

A part of me wanted Jason to come in here and just give me a hug or just anyone but the other thought of what if they saw me like this, I can't have another it will be okay talk. Because it won't be, nothing will ever be okay.

After wiping away my tears, I started to clean the room a bit making it seem like there was an attack in here.

I passed a mirror on my way out, catching my attention. I just stared at myself, red eyes from the crying, and seeing both my parents in myself, reminding myself that they are dead and there is no way to change that.

I looked down at my hands, closing them, seeing the thing the world gave me as a result of the death of my parents.

I left the room before breaking down again, walking past Jason's room, but not walking away.

I hesitated to open his door, but doing it anyway because at this point getting hurt by anyone or anything doesn't hurt anymore.

I opened the door to see Jason laying on his bed facing the ceiling, "Gar I told you I don't want to talk-" Jason started but stopped himself when he locked eyes with me.

"Look, before you continue or yell at me I want to tell you something. I really don't want to hear a response, I just want to let it out before I forget to." I argued not taking a breath to let him talk.

"I am so sorry, I messed up what we had. I didn't let you talk, kind of how I am not letting you talk now. But that's not the point. I didn't want to hear the words I don't love you come out of your mouth. So to fix that I let you go before you could hurt me." I ramboled, watching as he just listened, not saying a word or trying to say a word.

"I love you Jay." I quickly spoke, seeing a shocked but almost happy expression form on his face. "And if you don't love me back, okay, but I can't hear that right now so, I just wanted to blurt this all out before I regretted not talking to you. I am sorry to throw this all on you but it's late and right now I can't deal with any emotions." I added before walking away and leaving the room as quickly as I came in.

As I walked away I couldn't stop thinking about how I should have reacted differently. Should I have stayed? No, he needs time to think. But what if he already has an answer? Then he would have stopped me, right?

I had these thoughts the entire walk to my room. I ran into Dick on my way to my room. "Hey, can we please not have the fireplace on until after tomorrow?" I asked, getting a confused look on his face.

"Why? We don't normally have it on anyways." Dick questioned, "It's hot, and I just...umm wanted to make sure no one put it on." I answered fidgeting with my fingers, walking away before he asked too many questions.

I couldn't tell him the truth, at least not yet. I didn't need everyone up my ass about being okay and all. I just needed some time alone to think.

I took a shower and read for a little, trying to delay or even stop myself from falling asleep. It sort of helped, luckily everyone was asleep by this point so I snuck out of my room to get some snacks and coffee to keep myself awake.

It was now almost midnight and I was on the roof sitting on the edge watching the city from the great view. There were millions of thoughts going through my mind, but they were stopped when I realized I wasn't alone.

"Don't jump please, I will have to jump and save you if you do." Jason joked walking closer to me. I turned my head to face him, laughing a little, but stopping soon after.

We didn't say anything, he took a seat next to me watching the view of the city, and taking it all in.

"I love you, Em." Jason spoke turning to face me. I quickly turned to face him back, shocked at the words coming out of his mouth.

"Look if you are saying that as I joke or something I don't want to hear it-" I started but was interrupted by a kiss.

"You talk a lot, has anyone ever told you that? It's cute." Jason smiled, pulling away from me. "Em, I have loved you since we first met, I just never loved someone like how I love you."

"Oh come on, you have had to have a girlfriend before, like look at you." I joked, still a little confused on what Jason meant. "Yea, but they were like a one time thing, I have never really loved someone before, like sure, love no. So when we kissed it hit me, and I didn't know how to express that." Jason added. "I'm sorry, I just-" Jason started but was interrupted.

I pulled him in for another kiss and then a hug, this hug was my favorite one of all. Jason Todd loves me, and I couldn't be more happier.