Fire Phoenix

Chapter 35

Every year was the same.

The constant thought of dying and leaving this shit hole of a world, happened every year on the same day.

Why wasn't I the one who died, why didn't my parents survive and raise me like normal families should, but no I was cursed to survive without them.

I stood on the edge of life every year, whether that be a bridge, building, or even the roof of a tower which housed my new found family. It was the same thought and there was no way of pushing it behind, and forgetting about it, it would always be there.

But yet every year I would be distracted, or interrupted. The first year, I thought maybe there is a chance and maybe I could be okay without them, I was wrong.

I was a happy kid, everything was perfect, good family, good friends, maybe a little too much pressure to be perfect but I tried. That was until my parents took my happiness to their graves and left me with their sadness along with mine.

Second year was when I really thought I would end it all, but then I was interrupted by cops who have been searching for me for a while since I ran away from the foster care place. They thought they saved my life and gave me another chance, but no they just ruined it even more.

That's kind of how it was for a while until I was interrupted by Oliver and his family, and they showed me a new way to enjoy life.

Yes they could have adopted me right then and there but they didn't have the money or space, they had a new baby on the way and I probably wouldn't have accepted.

The thought of a new family kills me, but seeing them and my new family now, I have changed.

And if it wasn't for Jason, I would have had two families burning one of their own.

"Why do you do it? Was I the reason you were going to jump?" questioned Jason, bringing me back into reality.

"No, if it wasn't for you right now, I would be here sitting with you." I reassured him, making sure he couldn't blame himself. "I do this every year, and maybe for the rest of my life. No amount of therapy or love can stop this horrible thought of joining my parents and ending it all."

"Look I know today is hard for you-" Jason started, "You remembered?" I interrupted, surprised anyone would care enough to remember.

"Yea, it's the day your parents died, Em. It's a sad day, and having someone there to help comfort you is important." Jason spoke, locking eyes with mine.

Before I could even let out another word, he gave me a hug and told me it's okay, that's when I started to cry.

We sat on the edge making sure we didn't fall for another 20 minutes, we never spoke a word, it was nice.

I don't know why but for some reason, Jason gives me the feeling of comfort, that feeling where I could cry for hours and he wouldn't say a word, and just give me a hug and comfort me.

He seems like this guy who hates everyone and everything, I mean he does, but he has this side where he is the most caring person in the world.

After sitting there and crying for 20 minutes we ended up heading back to my room.

"Can we please not sleep, like we can watch a movie or something." I suggested, playing with my fingers anxiously, really not wanting to sleep.

"Em you need sleep, and to be honest so do I. It's almost 3 am." Jason disagreed, still not making a good enough point to fall asleep. "I promise to not leave your bed, I will stay here for as long as you want me to." Jason added.

"Fine, but if I have a nightmare or anything. I am staying up and not falling asleep till the next day." I argued, getting a nod from Jason before we both got ready for bed and drifted off to sleep.

For the first time in years, I didn't have a nightmare. There were times I was close and I could picture the day, but they vanished as soon as they came.

It was like I finally had enough love in my life to make them go away. Yes this sounds corny and shit but I really felt safe and I just wanted to stay here.

I woke up at around 8, only getting around 5 hours of sleep, but I couldn't any longer. I quietly got out of bed and got ready for the day without waking Jason.

I entered the kitchen to see only Rachel in there eating breakfast. "Gar and Dick are getting coffee for us." Rachel spoke, before I could ask where they were.

"Do you know where Jason is?" Rachel asked, smirking at me like she already knew. I just shrugged trying to pull off the impression that I didn't know where he was.

"I think you do actually. Gar went to get Jason up to get coffee with him, but didn't find him in his room, and he happened to pass by your room and found him in your bed." Rachel winked.

"Nothing happened I promise" I quickly responded slightly embarrassed, "Uh huh, yea sure." Rachel joked back taking a bite of her toast. "Rach, I promise he was just trying to help me sleep without me getting a nightmare." I argued back.

"Yea, I figured, already told Gar, so that he doesn't come talk to you guys about it. Look I know today's hard for you and if you want to talk I am here." Rachel comforted, standing up from her seat to put her hand on my shoulder.

"You know?" I questioned, remembering I haven't told anyone but Jason. "I might have accidentally found out when I gave you a hug the other day, you were just so sad I wanted to make sure it was nothing I should really worry about." Rachel hesitated, getting an annoyed look from me.

But I could stay mad at her, she was genuinely concerned for me and I knew she didn't do it on purpose. "I promise I am okay, a little sad, but better. But please no fireplace or any major fires for the day." I reassured her.

"Promise." Rachel pinky swore, before heading back to her toast. I made myself some breakfast before we moved our attention to Dick and Gar walking in with coffees for everyone.