Not him

28

"Zee wait up,''

I was basically running after him.

He didn't hear me though..or he was ignoring me.

I couldn't lose him..not after all the effort he has put to make things right.

I was still doubting whether I could trust him again and it made me act cold towards him.

Nat's words rang in head like a bell.

"You may end up losing him if you keep this up,''

I didn't think much of it at first but now that I was going to lose him..I felt the magnitude of it.

I finally caught up with him when he was struggling to open his car.

He wasn't angry but the hurt expression on his face made my heart clench.

"P'Zee,''I breathed out as I caught my breath.

I reached out my hand to grab his.

He didn't pull away but he seemed uncomfortable.

"Nhu..do you need anything from me?''

He asked still fumbling with his keys.

I shook my head and he groaned in annoyance and cursed shoving his keys in his pocket.

He finally turned to face me.

"Well?''

He was tapping his feet impatiently.

"Zee I'm sorr-''

He scoffed immediately cuting me off.

"What could you possibly want to apologize for huh?you're sorry that I was trying my best to make things right yet you already moved on?You're sorry you couldn't wait for me?you're sorry I ditched my work for days to prepare for our date today?or you're sorry that you don't love me anymore?which one is it?''

His words hit me like a truck..I wasn't in the slightest bit emotionally prepared for this.

"Zee don't say th-''

"You know what I'm sorry for Nhu?I'm sorry for being an asshole to you..I'm sorry for ruining you mentally and emotionally..I'm sorry for trauma dumping..I'm sorry for leading you on Nhu...I know I'm the world's biggest jerk for doing that but I also have emotions Nunew..I may be cold but I have feelings.. I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough for you..I'm sorry I hurt you like I got hurt..I'm fucking sorry for loving you..I love you Nunew..I love you so much it hurts to see you with another guy,''

The tears were now streaming down my face.

When he heart broke me..I didn't want him to see even a single tear drop from me..but right now as he poured out his emotions for me..I couldn't hold it in anymore.

He didn't plan on stopping though.

"Listen Nhu,''he said holding my hands for a brief moment then letting go as if contemplating on whether he should be doing that or not after what he just witnessed.

His touch still lingered on my hands.

"I'm broken..I've put the my trust in the wrong people..I'm sincerely messed up but with you..I feel like a part of me that I lost has returned..you abruptly appeared in my life almost knocking me off my feet..how do I live without you now that you've shaken my world?I admit I was really jealous..but it's hard not to be when I'm obsessed with you..I know it's not healthy but please Nunew-''

I didn't let him finish this time..I wrapped my arms around him burying my face on his chest.

I was overwhelmed with different types of emotions at once.