THE QUEEN WEAKNESS

Miyeon and Jen talks

(A/N;) no proof read
Boring chapter ahead, I'm sorry, hope someone still reading this lol

Jennie Pov

"Let's talk Jennie"

That's the last thing I heard from her before I ran out in that room, how can I do that to my cousin? How can I be selfish like that?!

Oh God Jennie your so messed up! She's your cousins girlfriend for Godsake and you asked her to fuck you!

It's been 3 days since that day happened they are trying to reach me but I cut all contacts with them, my guilt is killing me, I bet my parents was disappointed again with me.

Why? What's with her why I can't get my head straight everytime I'm around her, after all those years she still have a hold of me that even me can't understand what it is.

"Lisa how can you mess up my mind like this, how can you makes my world up side down again"

"Girl, at least take a shower. You smell like fish already" Hanbin said cutting my train of thoughts.

Yes Hanbin and I had agreement, we agreed to fake our relationship, why? Because he's gay and he's scared of his dad, while me? Well.... You can guest it, it's because of her... Lisa.

Those years I tried to move on, I've been to blind date and tried dating apps and stuff but still... She owns me, I feel like every time I goes to date I felt like I'm doing something wrong, so after trying for a while I completely stop and just fucos on my career, that's when I met Hanbin, my half girl best friend.

He courted me of course, but I'm not that dumb not to feel what he really is, after all I still have this 'gaydar' in me. Even though I'm only gay with her, so I don't consider myself a Bi, why? Cause I'm only gay with her, and if her and I didn't work I will never try with a girl anymore. Well, technically she's not girly girl right... Uhmp you know what I mean don't make me say it.

I confronted Hanbin of course and that's when he open up about her dad wanting him to get marry and have a child but what can we do we both know that he don't like me like that and obviously I don't like him like that. Thats when we became close and decided that whatever happened we will stay at each other's back and help one another.

"I'm not in a mood Bin just let me for a bit more, okay?" I finally answered him but still laying in my bed while I covered myself with a duvet

"Bitch! Stand up and take a shower and face your problem, your friends and family bugging me about you, I even turned off my phone because of them specially your lover girl" He said annoyed

"I don't have a lover Bin, my cousin owns her and I... I'm just.. Her ex, you know" I said getting teary eyed again.

"Why not try to talk to her first Jen? Don't assume things easily like that" He countered

"I don't need to talk to her Bin, can't you see? Didn't you heard what my cousin said ? Their obviously still inlove with each other, and I don't wanna ruin that, I don't want to be selfish, I want her to be happy"

To be honest I don't know what I feel, I want her for myself and the way she touched me, her whispers and the ways she look at me that night feels like she still want me or even love me, it's not just a fuck, it's more than that, and she even told herself it's making love. But why am I not facing her? After all I enjoyed it, she didn't get any rust in that department she even better now if I remember. But why, but why she did that to me, doesn't she feel guilt right now? Specially Miyeon knows it all already and even ask to talk to me but I never replied their text and all their calls straight to voicemail, doesn't she afraid that Miyeon will leave her? Why did she tell her that. Oh my God... This is so messed up. It's already complicated and she made it worst.