Thanks Clyde. Because of you Tweek is freaking out. He thinks the government wants to kill him. He thinks youre gonna tell the government hes an alien. He thinks you work for Joe Biden. So thank you Clyde. Thank you for butting into my business. Thank you for following me. I hope you know if you mother didnt die she would have definitely still left you by now.
"ARGGGG IM GONNA DIE DIE DIE DIE-"
"NO YOURE NOT. KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IM HERE TO PROTECT TO YOU WETHER CLYDE WAS ACTUALLY APART OF THE GOVERNMENT OR NOT." I kinda lost my cool there. Hes just soooo annoying.
"Mm- Ngh! O-okay.. Craig..?" I hum in response. "Whats like mean? Like.. When you "like" a person. Bebe says it a lot."
Oh for- This is gonna be "boyfriends" all over again.
"Its like um... Isnt there a dictionary in your head or something?" He shrugs. Helpful. "Its... Um.. Something you like, like... Something that intrests you! Something you... Enjoy and in some cases want? Got all that? Good.We're leaving. Its stuffy in here."
I open the door to leave and before I can take a full two steps, Nichole comes running passed full speed, "NO. LEAVE ME ALONE TOLKIEN!"
....That was weird. "ACK!!"
I pat Tweeks back as a way to resure him and before I can tell him its okay, Tolkien comes running passed full speed, "BABY WAIT LISTEN IT WAS BEBE I SWEAR!!"
....Okay... "WAGH!!"
I rub Tweeks back as another way to calm him and before I can about think how weird that couple is, Clyde comes running passed full speed, "TOLKIEN WAIT THIS NEEDS TO TALKED ABOUT!!!"
...Hm. "EODJXA"
I give Tweek a fidget spinner and walk away. Maybe I can find Jimmy since my other friends are too busy... Playing tag..?
"Craig wait!! Ill die on my own!!!"
I groan very loudly and turn to face
Tweek who stops almost instantly in front of my face. "Youre not going to die, dumbass. This is school not dodgeball with Damien."
The color drains from his face. We all know what dodgeball with Damien is like...
Ww2 flashbacks...
Anyway- I flip Tweek off and continue walking along to the cafeteria. I miss Stripe. Maybe tomorrow ill bring her to school. I remember when Tweek first met her. He freaked out and put a hole in my closet door. Good time-
CRASH
"GAHHHHH"
And with that... Tweek has attached itself to my back...
"Oh my god! Cartmans fat killed Kenny!!"
"You fat bastard why did you fall from the ceiling?!"
Cartman smirks. Ew. I turn around to leave. "Because Craig is a stupid gay bitch faggot and he wont admit it! So im gonna fight the truth put of him!" Huh- I flip him off. I did not agree to-
"AGHN! Youre gonna kick his ass Craig!! Hes gonna kick your ass! Know why? Cause...."
Cartman scoffs. "Cuz wah?"
"...Cause youre over weight...?"
Damn Tolkien and Nichole and Clyde are totally missing all of this. I take out my phone to record. Im not beating anyones ass. Im gonna watch Tweek beat Cartmans ass.
"What did you just say, Twink?! IM NOT OVER WEIGHT"
Tweek flinches. "Y-yeah you kinda are..."
Cartmans face turns red. Baha hes getting mad. Tweek gets off my back and slowly walks over and pokes his stomach. It jiggles...
"Ew.."
"THATS IT!!! SQUARE THE FUCK UP" Cartman raise his fat fist to punch Tweek. Everyone gasps.
"RAHHH"
"GAH!!"
Tweek catches Fatass' fist and bends his arm. Sweet.
"AGHH LET GO LET GO LET GOOOOOO"
"AGH! S-SORRY"
No way this cant end here thatd be lame. Thisd make for a lame chapter.
"TWEEK HE CALLED YOU AN ALIEN JUST NOW" Tweeks face turns from apologetic to angry. Im so smart.
"Wha? No I didnt! Kahl tell him!"
Kyle shrugs and helps Stan record. Ahah hes fucked hes dead. Tweek punches him over and over and over again then throws his head in the floor and- Okay im out this just got real violent...
Looks like i wasnt the only reasonable one. Everyone else is leaving too.
"OW OW OW WW-WAIT GUYS DONT LEAVE ME COME BA- AOWWW"
I walk the direction and came and for some reason so does everyone else. I eventually stop when I hear voices ahead of me.
"Ahah... You swear you didnt feel anything?"
"Nope. Not a thing!"
"sigh Good. You had me a little upset baby..."
"Yeah um.. Did.. You feel anything Clyde?"
"No! Course not I was testing you! You seem loyal enough!"
They laugh.
Clyde and Tolkien and Nichole... I turn around and barley any people are there anymore. Ah theyre all hiding in the lockers listening in. I know because I see theyre eyes..... Clyde bust out of the room and the minute he sees me (SADLY UNFORTUNATELY DEAD IM DYING) He runs into my arms desperately tryna not to cry at the schene.
"Aweee platonic Cryle.."
"Shut all your asses up. Im more confused right now than the time I got sent to peru."
Which was Stan and those guys faults to be perfectly clear. Anyway about Stripe. She needs a tiny top hat. I need to go buy a tiny top hat for her.
CITEȘTI
Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆
FanfictionCraig Tuckers life is now more boring than hed hoped. Being 16 isnt all its cracked up to be for the guy. His friends are all busy with their own things and him? Nothing but boredom and homework that he doesnt do frequently. But one night, while hom...
