Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 12: A tale of four blondes

Ive been sitting here for what feels like HOURS waiting for these two to get here. At least it gives me time to think about Kyles ass. Its perfect from all angles... I remember that note I wrote to his ass- I mean him.

Kyle you have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perk cheeks let me tell you. Id like to live with you anf wear your ass as a hat fo-

DING DONG

Its the boys!

I run out of my room, pull them inside and drag them up to my bedroom.

"Okay! Whos ready for a makeover?" For some reason they both look equally terrified.Tweek twitches and Butters rubs his knuckles together. "What? No one... Wants a makeover..?" They both shake their heads.

What can we all do... Together..? Kenny would know.

GASSSPPPP

"Alright people! What do we all have in common?!" The three of us were in a line while Kenny talked to us like we were in the military. Dont ask how I got him out of detention..

Butters raises his hand. "We're all bi-curious! Sir!" Kenny shakes his head and pretends to yell at him. Infact we were all not bi-curious. Kenny is pansexual, Tweek is quite obviously gay, and im still figuring myself out....

"Ack! We're all... Um.... AhhhhhhTOO MUCH PRESSURE! UHG- SIR!!!"

"GUYS! WE'RE ALL STUPID BLONDES. AND WHAT DO STUPID BLONDES DO? THEY DO STUPID SHIT! SO WE'RE GONNA GO STEAL A CAR!!"

Wow. I wouldve never thought of that!! Butters pipes in, rubbing his knuckles. "I-I dont know fellers... I could get grounded for this ya know...."

Tweek pipes in, twitching madly. "AGH! WE COULD DIE OH GOD WHERES CRAIG" Ohhhh shit. Ive been so focused on having fun I forgot the main reason Tweeks even here. I need to ask him if Butters knows.

I grab Tweeks arm and drag him out of my room, ignoring Butters' and Kennys calls for me. I bring him to the kitchen and start making him some coffee. "Ack! What the hell Bebe?!"

I sigh and turn to him. "Sorry babes.... Um... Does Butters know? Craig is worried as hell and hes gonna kill me if-"

SLAM

Tweek slams his hands on the table. "...Twee-"

"H-hes worried? About me?"

I run my hand through my hair and sigh at his homosexuality. Its been clear since last month that this Noran is a gay fag.

"Not important. Does. Butters. Know what you are?"

He shakes his head no as he waits for his coffee. I sigh and put a hand to my chest. To be perfectly honest... If anyone else were to find out Craig would automatically be the first to hear about it from this twitchy Noran.

And just as im about to give Tweek his cup, Gay and gayer run into the kitchen, scaring me and Tweek.

"AH FUCK!"

"AGH WHAT HUH- MY COFFEE NO"

Id dropped it on the floor...

Kenny grabs my shoulders "Forget that lets go!! We're gonna steal Tolkiens car!"

Tweek flinches and stares at his spilt coffee. "We'll get Starbucks on the way." Kenny says, to where Tweek immediately gets up.

"LETS GO STEAL A C-CAR!!!"

"YEAH!"

"AND NOT DIE!!"

"Yeah?"

So off we went. Me, Butter, McWhoredick, and the secret Noran. We walked along talking about nothing in particular- EHEM kyles ass COUGH HEM EHHEM- until we finally reached Tolkiens house.

"Thats it guys. Tolkiens new blue Bugatti." Kenny whispered.

"Does he even have a license?" I whisper back.

"We're 16 remember, feller?" Butters whispers too.

"Wh-why are we quiet?! WHATS A BUGATTI" We all know who that was.

Kenny walks up to the car first. "Butters is gonna drive."

We all look at Kenny like hes crazy.

"KEN I COULD GET GROUNDED!"

"KENNY WE COULD DIE"

Kenny shrugs and tries to figure out ho we would steal the car.

Tweek shivers as he paces in a circle then stops. "Guys what are these...?"

No way. Tolkien just left the keys on the floor. He gives it to me and we all look at it then back at the car. Butters is now wearing sunglasses...

"Lets go little fellers! Onward!"

"WAAHHHHHHHH SLOW DOWN"

"I DONT KNOW HOW!! THIS IS FUNNNNN"

Butters is driving faster than I thought was physically possible. We're making so many turns, everyone is screaming inside and outside of this really nice car. The only person not having fun is Tweek. The poor guy. I take his hand but he screams and scoots away from me towards the door. And it OPENS.

"GAHHHHH HELP!!!" "BUTTERS, TWEEK IS FALLING OUT OF THE CAR!!!!!"

Kenny shakes Butters making the car swerve. "WILL YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT?!" I pull Tweek back inside of the car and he lands on my tit-

"OW SHIT! THIS ISNT FUN ANYMORE" My scream seems to have scared Butters because the car has started spinning. Now we're all screaming louder. In fear. TWEEK WAS FUCKING RIGHT WE'RE DEAD.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Eventually Butters grabs control of the car and we start driving in a straight line again. Its quiet now. Everyone looks terrified and we are still driving faster than we should be. Somehow we ended up nearing the school.

"Hold on..." Kenny breaks the silence. "Butters thats someone in the road.... Stop- STOP THE CAR OR-"

"O-OH HAMBURGERS I DONT KNOW HOW!!!!" And now Butters has started driving faster.

Now we are screaming again.

"STOP STOP STOP" "LOOK OUT" "DEAD WE'RE ALL DEAD" "HOW THE HECK DO CARS EVEN WORK"

CRASSHHH

ZOOOOOMMMMMM- SCCEERRRT

We stopped. Butters hit somebody. With Tolkiens car. The windshield is cracked and bloody. Ahah. We stick our heads out of the car just to see we've driven so far away from whoever we hit, we could barley see them. Apparently they went over the entire shit.

We all sit back down. "I-Im gonna go backwards now..." Butters goes forward for a second and immediately brakes before Kenny helps him drive backward. Really fast. Now we're screaming again.

"TOO FAST TOO FAST"

"SLOW THE FUCK DOWN"

"OH HAMBURGERS NOT AGAIN"

"BUTTERS STOP BEFORE YOU-"

CRICK CRACK

....

Butters hit somebody with Tolkiens car. Then rolled over them. "Go forward! Forward!" Tweek screams and luckily Butters does it very nicely. Everyone steps out of the car all dizzy and light-headed. We look at the dislocated and bloody squished up body. The body of- Holy shit.

"CRAIG!!!"