Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 24: Lets talk about Craig

"That fucking BASTARD!" Schools over and we (Me and Kenny and Butters and Tweek) are all at Bebes house because apparently Craig couldnt be fucked to make sure Tweek could get in his house. Bebes been yelling ever since she found out Craigs been ignoring Tweek. Not that I blame her... Craig is a bastard no cap. Thats like me ignoring Tweek after I broke all his gadgets! "You know what? Yeah! Thats what ill do! Ill get all the girls together to beat his ASS!"

Tweek screams. Hes just been shaking the entire time. "No he'll DIE, Human baby!!"

"HE DESERVES TO DIE"

"NO HE DOESNT"

"HE NEEDS HIS DICK CHOPPED OFF"

"AGH NO!"

Me, Kenny and Butters just look at them in amusement like its a little comedy tv show.

Kenny speaks up, seemingly uncomfortable. "Bebe can you not talk about dick chopping in a room filled with people with dicks?"

What she does next scares all of us shitless.

She punches him.

In his nuts.

"GAHHH I DIDNT DO ANYTHING"

Lesbians are terrifying. Thats terrific. This is Craigs fault. Ignoring Tweek for no reason. Wait... now that I think about it... If I were to ignore Tweek itd be because I was scared of him... Or.... Oh my taco gods..

"F-fellas why dont we calm down...? Tweeks freakin out! Lookit his antennas!"

"My dick hurts, Butters!! Ill calm down when you suck the pain out of it!!!"

...

"..What?"

"I know you wont... Dont even bother.."

"Well uh- If you wa-"

I slam my hands on Bebes dresser to stop... Whatever was just happening.

"Tweek kindly step out for a moment my dear non-human friend!"

Tweek jumps at me calling him. "AGH! Good! Bebe doesnt seem to like people with penises!" He scurries out of the room like a scared puppy.

Bebe raises an eyebrow. "Why does he need to leave?"

"Y-yeah! Hes the reason we're even here!"

"I could be at home jackin it instead of being here with a throbbing cock. And not the good throbbing."

I sit in Bebes pink rolly chair all mysterious.... "Clyde get out of my chair."

I ignore that. Kenny mutters something about fingering and Bebe glares at him. Anyway!

"Guys! Craig is stupid right?" They all nod. Sad. "Well what if hes doing this because the kiss was so embarassing he thinks avoiding Tweek will make him feel better."

They all look like theyve figured put all the secrets of the universe. Butters speaks up. "Oh hamburgers! Thats not supposed to happen! Hes supposed to talk to Tweek! Or bottle up his feelings forever." We all look at him funny at that last part. "What? He shouldnt talk to Tweek? Darn I shoulda just kept my mouth shut..."

Kenny pats Butters shoulder. "No um- Nothing. We're gonna need to talk to Craig and-"

"Kill him!" Bebe threw her arms up. Scary.

"What?! No! Talk him out of this ignoring Tweek thing!" Bebe scoffs and crosses her arms. "Killing him is plan b." Bebe smiles again.

I chuckle. "You guys think he'll just listen? Craigs stubborn as shit. He thinks everyone else is stupid and hes like the coolest person ever."

Bebe rolls her eyes. "Hes geeky, lame and hes a fucking idiot." Kenny and Butters agree. Sad.

I spin around in the chair. This is really fun. "Well all im saying is it wont be easy to get him to stop ignoring Tweek. All we can do is try and-"

"KILL HIM"

"NO BEBE" The three of us yell.

~♡/♡~

We have no idea what we're gonna say to Craig. Prolly gonna just wing it. The plan is set though! Tweek is in another class! We're in Craigs classroom waiting for him get in and see us. We got Cartman to stand by the door to make sure he wont leave once he realizes hes in deep shit.

Craig walks in and flips us off. "Hm. Oh hey guys whats up? Youre not supposed to be here."

Bebe grits her teeth. Butters, Kenny and I step back. "Playing dumb huh? Why dont you tell me whos been ignoring Tweek?"

Craig rolls his eyes and sits down. "You say that like its been more than a fucking day."

Kenny steps in before Bebe initializes plan b. "Dude thats really fucked up. He crashed- Um.... Flew here... And you were the first one there for him! He trusts you and now youre gonna ignore him because youre EMBARRASSED???" Kenny looks angry too now..

"Im not embarrassed??"

Bebe steps in again. "Then fucking WHAT?! The viewers didnt see, but Tweek fucking cried because he thought he did something wrong!"

Everyone looks at us confused. Yeah lets spread to everyone what-

"Can we um... Talk about this somewhere else...? I dont want to um... Uh... Make.. Clyde! Upset ahaaahahaha!"

What? Why would I get upset? I look at Craigs classmates. Kyle looks at me sympathetically and everyone else does the same. What the same... What the fuck is going on..?

Kenny signals to Cartman to back down and Bebe hands him a bag of candy. We all leave the classroom and go into the boys bathroom.

Craig starts up again. "Look, you all probably already know me and Tweek kissed. He definitely couldnt keep his alien mouth shut."

Butters finally speaks up, "Craig just tell us why youre doin this!"

Craig looks at all of us. "I dont want to be gay."

He doesnt wanna be- whats that supposed to mean?! "Whats wrong with being gay?"

"Theres nothing wrong with being gay, Clyde, its just im not gay!"

Kenny steps closer to Craig. "Its not a choice, Craig! Nor does it matter! What does avoiding Tweek have to do with you not being gay?"

Craig sighs and looks at Kenny like hes an idiot. We all do actually... Its kinda obvious why hes ignoring Tweek now(pretty stupid idea if you ask me). I was just mad cause he sounds awfully homophobic for someone surrounded with the word gay since he was in diapers.

"Look it was nice chatting buuttt I got class. We all got class."

Somehow he manages to get past us and head for the door. I glance at Bebe. She wields a fucking taser.

"Bebe what the hell!?"

"Plan b is in motio-"

Butters waves his arms around. "No!! We just have to keep trying! Clyde did say it wouldnt be easy!"

Kenny sighs. "Butters is right. It shouldnt take too long anyway. Craig cant be that subborn."