Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 28: Gossip girls

"I walked in.... And they were hugging! Tweek was completely fine! Look at this picture and this picture. Not even 10 minutes after!"

Butters and Kenny squeal.

Clyde and I hold hands and hop up and down giggling.

Craig and Tweek stand right next to us before trudging away embarrassed.

Kenny grabs Butters shoulders and turns to me. "What even happened to him??"

I take out my phone and show them the messages.

Clyde sighs "He is such a dry texter." He does that thing with his wrist to put emphasis on 'such'. "The only emojis hes uses are the croissant and the middle finger."

"Focus!" I snap. "Read it- Look!"

Kenny mumble reads out loud. "Sorry girl... On my period.. WTF... question mark question mark.... OMFG wrong number...."

Shit that was too far! I snatch phone away. "...Say... nothing...." The embarrassment would kill me if these boys were all pathetically... Well pathetic.

The boy all shake their heads and Butters pipes up. "We wouldnt dream of it, fella! We saw what happened to Kenny!"

Kenny nods and looks away, rubbing his arm.

Eventually I show them the actual messages. And Clyde grabs my phone out my hand. "Withdrawls?! Isnt that like... Like addiction? Oh my god.... Guys..... Tweek is doing drugs-" I slap him. "OW!"

"Tweek isnt doing drugs dumbass!" I snatch my phone bck from him. "Its the coffee."

They all make an O shape with ther mouths. "Oooooohhhhhhhhhh the coffeeeee."

Idiots.

Clyde rubs his cheek. "So... They were like.... Just hugging it out?" He starts giggling. "And-and Craigs hug- Ehehe... Made him all better?? They just- Hehehe... Stopped the withdrawls!!?"

I jump up. "YESSS!!!!!"

We all squeal, hold hands and start jumping in a circle chanting some things like, "Theyre so gay!" and "I cant believe this!" and "Just kiss already!" and "Why are they so dense?!" and "[really really offensive slur]" and- Wait... Really really offensive slur?!

We all stop and look at Clyde who only realizes we've stopped after like 5 seconds. "Huh? What guys?"

The blondes step back and all huddle in a circle.

"Is he allowed to say that?"

"I dont know, Ken...."

"Boys... Is he gay enough to say gay slurs..?"

Kenny peeks up at him. "He looks pretty gay..."

"But is he..? We all know he has a thing for Tolkien but.... That feller needs to be a certain level of gay... Right?"

We all three nod.

"Uh guys..? Whats going on over there...? I was gonna remind you guys about the time when Tweek and Craig kissed."

"SHUSH" We all say. He needs to stay quiet while we think.

Butters gives a face like a lightbulb appeared over his head. "Ask him something gay!"

Kenny nods. "Yes! Hey Clyde are you wearing socks?"

Clyde shakes his head. "Forgot."

"Mhm mhm.... Oh my god theres a baddie with the fatty over there!"

"Dude we're in Bebes room. Where would-"

"Theres a dude with the fatty over-"

"WHERE!?"

Kenny comes back to our blonde huddle. "Its settled then."

I nod. "He can indeed say that really really offensive slur." We all stand up again. "Tell us when they KISSED."

"But- Kenny said-"

"We're inside, dumbass."

"Right.... TWEEK SAID THEY FRENCH KISSED!!!"

We all scream like crazy. This reminds me of those girls only sleepovers- Oh my god they should come to a girls only sleepover. Its only right if gays come along too!

"Boys!" They stop screaming and face me completely. "We're going to a girls sleepover party."

Kennys face lights up. "So many titties!!"

I slap him. "You look at any of those girls the wrong way im gonna- Youre... Youre looking at me the wrong way."

He shrugs. "Your tits are huge what do you want from me? I cant help looking a lil-" I punch him square in his face. "OWHA"

"I swear to god-"

"What? Its your fault for having big voluptuous breasts."

Clyde nods and gives a thumbs up. Butters too.

No. Why did have that idea? These disgusting boys are violating me with thier EYES. I cover my chest.

Clyde and Butters jump up. "April fools!" they say in sync.

Butters gets in front of Kenny to protect him. "Not sure about Ken though...."

Kenny waves his hand while he uses his other to rub the spot I punched. "I only said it for the joke! Everything I said was true though."

Yeah that wasnt a very funny april fools joke. Im killing them.

Tweek and Craig though? Eeeeeeee!!

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Hi! This chapter was just for funsies! I realized it was april fools because of the boop feature on tumblr and decided id add that hoke bit at the end! GOODBYE:)