Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 13: Craig is dead

We all stared at Craigs dead, unmoving body. We didn't know who to blame. Butters because he was the one driving, Kenny because all of this was his idea, me because I decided to invite everyone, or Craig because hes the one who told me to intervene in the first place. One things for sure, none of this was Tweeks fault at all.

I look over to Tweek. Hes not as devastated as I thought he was. He looks at me then at Butters and Kenny. "Guys... If you uh.. Every found out I wasnt human would you kill me or call the government?" Kenny and Butters look at each other confused. Not me though. Tweeks gonna tell them. Why?

Before I can question this, Tweek grabs their shoulders. "WOULD YOU. OR WOULD YOU NOT." Kenny and Butters nod so hard I wouldnt be surprised if their heads fell off.

"YES WE SWEAR."

"OH HAMBURGERS ID GET GROUNDED FOR BOTH OF THOSE THINGS!!"

Tweek lets go and takes a couple steps away from the two. He looks at me. I shrug. He shakily holds his arm out and stares at his watch.

"Um... Tweek what are you-"

"SHUT UP YOURE STRESSING ME OUT THIS IS A LOT OF PRESSURE"

Hes gonna do it but why?! Craig dies so he reveals himself??! WHATS WRONG WITH HIM

He presses the button and Kenny and Butters faces are fucking priceless. "Tweek you-" Tweek puts a finger to his mouth and gets in their faces. Again. They freak out just a little bit. "Anyone got a water bottle? Not a water bottle that anyone drank from either. I dont need any- Ack! Any human diseases." Kenny and Butters look at each other. Tweek looks at me probably questioning if I have a water bottle. Which surprisingly I do.

I pull it out. "Here Tweekers. Quick question." I admire my now Chipped nail polish. "Whats youre plan here? Craig dies so you show gay and gayer youre a Noran then ask for a water bottle? Not following." And instead of replying he- Oh my god....

"EW EW WHAT THE?!"

"TWEEK WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"MY WATER"

To ALL of our surprise Tweek spits in the water. He spits in it and sips some of the water then spits it back in there and- Ewww.... "Tweek please sto-" "Shhhhh!!"

Oh no he didnt. He did not just shush me. The guy putting his alien juices in my water did NOT just shush me. "TWEEK YOU ARE VIOLATING MY WATER BOTTLE WITH NO EXPLANATION AND- Oh god what are you-..." Tweek proceeds to gargle my water and spit it back in the bottle. I swear to- This must be an alien thing.... Ive literary never seen him do this.

Kenny clears his throat "Is this an alien thing-" "I AM NOT AN ALIEN I AM A NORAN" Kenny and Butters are shook. Nice first impression Tweekers... Totally not absolutely disgusting.

When he finishes... That... He shakes up the water and um.... Looks at us for some type of.... Parental approval? I shrug. Kenny and Butters are still confused. Tweek somewhat smiles and.... Pours... The spitty Noran water...... all over... Craigs...... Dead......... Body.

Time to scream again.

"TWEEK EW WHAT"

"STOP STOP"

"IT WAS ALREADY DISGUSTING DONT MAKE IT WORSE UGH"

Tweek doesnt stop until all that disgusting water is gone. He steps back and just stares at Craigs... Dead unmoving body. Unmoving-

Butters screams "OH HAMBURGERS HIS LIMBS ARE GOIN BACK IN PLACE" And that they were... Ew! All his blood and guts are going back in ew... Im not looking away. Eventually Craig sits up rapidly.

"TINY TOP HAT- GASSSSSSPPPP I-im alive... Oh god Stripe!" He pulls his cute little rat out from his Pocket. Awe shes wearing a tiny top hat! "Oh youre okay...."

Everyone except for Craig looks up at Tweek. Kenny talks first. "HEALING SPIT?! HOW DO YOU HEAL THE DEAD AND WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU?!?!" Tweek looks at him. At all of us and simply... Blinks.

"Well im a Noran from a planet called Portial. My ship crashed here last month and-and- Ngh! Craigs been he-helping me speak normal way... He um- Agh! He hide me for while then Bebe an Clyde find out then you find ou- Ack! Stop s-staring! Its f-f-freaking me out man!!" His antenna turn green. I make Kenny and Butters look away from him. "Thanks you human baby. Umm.... Yea! Norans have healing saliva! We can heal all as long as the body hasnt rotted or been dead too long!" His antenna turn their normal blue. He has really got to stop calling me that.

Craig puts Stripe under his hat before standing up. "Okay so who do I kill? You? You? All of you? Four stupid blondes. And- Tweek im gonna kick your ass for showing these two what you are. Bebe im kicking your ass for not doing what I told you. Butters im kicking your ass for running me over. Kenny im kicking your ass for making me endure porn about you and Butters." Butters looks at Kenny. Kenny looks at the ground. I run and grab Tweek.

I should kick Tweeks ass for spitting in my water bottle but hey! At least our main character isnt truly dead! "B-BABY! HUMAN BABY!" I stop and look back to see if Craig followed us. "Yes Tweek??" "Whats a porn?"

Oh great.