riki.nishimura → twelve weeks

43

I was little taken aback, hearing that he was actually awake. I immediately stopped the tears, giving a meek smile in the darkness as the salty tears dripped onto my lips. There was close proximity between our faces, and I could see, even in the darkness, that he was staring at my face with a little worry.

"Nothing, I'm just glad I came here instead of somewhere else." I tried my best to sound happy and completely thankful, but by the shaking of my voice, I wasn't sure if it was convincing.

"That's why you're crying?" Niki chuckled, placing his warm hand gently on my cheek, rubbing it slowly.

"Mhm, Seoul is horrible." I quietly responded as Niki's eyes gazed over my face.

"You aren't going back there anymore, so whatever happened, you can forget about it." I could sense his smile, his hands traced through my hair softly. His touch was just one of comfort and it made me feel at home.

I blinked hard, the last tears falling down my cheeks. My heart pounded against my chest, really feeling the guilt swallowing me up. It was not a nice feeling, but if I told him right here, right now, It'd probably be even worse.

I don't know why I held this out for so long.

I gave a light sigh, this place was definitely for me. But unfortunately, I couldn't stay here, nor reside here, Seoul was my place initially. I have a house there, prominent memories and most importantly, I have a source of income there.

And in Jeju? I guess I have the same more or less, but I don't know. I don't know what's making me leave. I suppose it's because I promised myself that it'd only be for twelve weeks.

And right now, those twelve weeks have closed. Summer was lowering down, the sun pressing the landscape into a brown, orange haze.

It was a nice summer break while it lasted. It went a little too quick.

"Niki.." I placed my palm on his cheek. I could feel his cheeks raise upwards, he was smiling. Man, how much I hated this right now.

"Hm?" His voice muttered lowly, he was tired but still, continued to stay awake for me.

"I'm glad you pushed me into that water when I first arrived." I managed to let out a pitiful chuckle, just reminiscing our first ever meeting, my first impression of him, and his first impression of me.

"Hey, I didn't push you in. I tried helping you and you, pushed me in." Niki chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me directly into his embrace.

"Did not. You tried too hard to be a hero that day." I scoffed, the upsetting feeling inside slowly disintegrating merely from being beside Niki.

"Wow... wooooow. You should've seen how miserable you looked. Pfft, if you were in my shoes and you saw what I saw, you'd do the same." Niki groaned playfully, a small chuckle leaving his lips afterwards.

"Lies." I retort jokingly, Niki placed his arm on my head, resting it there comfortably.

"I'm glad it brought us together though." His voice was deeper, raspier and tired, "I love you Yeojin."

I smiled lightly in his arms, the pounding in my heart fulfilling my body with warmth.

"I love you too Niki."

-

Finally, the wave of guilt hit me. I slid myself out of Niki's embrace as gently as I could. I didn't want to, and the warmth dissipating away just so easily.

It hurt me more than ever, standing at the door, just looking at him peacefully sleeping with no clue of what I was going to do.

I sighed, grabbing a piece of paper from his house and writing him a note. I guess I should at least give an explanation - or half.

'Niki

I leave for Seoul today, I have spent twelve weeks here, you know, that is the entire summer with you. And each day and morning that I woke up, I felt complete, knowing you were here with me and we'd always see each other no matter what. I don't want to leave Jeju, but I..'

I held the pen at the exact spot, wondering what to write next. I had no idea. But I.. what?

I groaned lightly, ripping the page and scrunching it up in my hand. I threw the ball into the trash, then, headed to Niki's room once more, for the last time.

I felt the tears welling down at my eyes, staring at his perfect face in such solace. I made my way to his side, planting a small kiss on his soft cheek, and then proceeding to leave his house in an instant before he wakes up or I actually end up staying.

My flight was soon, and I had to pick my stuff up from Saeron's house. I bet she'd be thankful and praising the Earth for my departure.

I made my way to her house, leaving my keys on a shelf before heading to my room and hurriedly packing my stuff. I made sure to swiftly shove everything in there, pressing it in with such urgency.

I dragged the heavyweight out of the house, trying to be as silent as I could be. The rolling wheels against the ground just made my heart feel anchored, normally, a holiday or going to the airport would feel fun and exciting.

But this? This was just pure dread.

I looked down, my bracelet catching my eye. The same bracelet I bought with Niki.

This will be a tough life.