Alex stared at me, his expression a mixture of surprise, worry, and something else that I couldn't understand.
He let out a strangled breath and bent over, holding on to his knees. "Go."
I looked at him, puzzled. "What?" I stepped over and touched his shoulder. "Alex, are you okay?"
He fell on his knees, his hands on his crotch. "Shit" he spit.
Now I was really worried. "Alex? Are you okay?"
"Go. Go where Bailey is right now." I felt like he was trying to make his words commanding, but the strangled state he was in affected that.
"What? Why?"
"Go." He insisted, getting angry. "Please go and get your picnic ready. I'll be right over."
I stepped away, still confused and worried. "O—Okay. I'll see you soon then."
I turned around and jogged to where Bailey was now playing in the water with his new friends. I called him over and got the picnic ready.
Throughout the rest of the day, Alex surprised me by not touching me once. As time stretched by, I became scared that maybe something I had done or maybe even my body had made him like this, and he just doesn't want me anymore. The weird thing is, even though he hadn't touched me, he still smiled and went through our date really great. We had a lot of fun on the beach and in the water. He fed me with his hand. We talked about so many things. I laughed a lot. But in the back of my mind, a little scared voice whimpered, wondering why he hadn't kissed me, or at the very least held me in his arms once.
When we arrived at my house later that night, Bailey ran before us with the things he brought back from the beach with excitement, and Alex and I stayed behind on the sidewalk.
"Thank you." I said. "I had a really good time."
He smiled, looking away as if a joke had just crossed his mind. "You know... today, I think I figured out what it feels like to have a girlfriend. And as hard as it is, it's a really interesting fun thing to deal with. A relationship, especially with someone like you, it's going to be an experience of a lifetime."
Even though I didn't understand what he said, I liked it a lot. And I especially liked it when he leaned in and kissed me for the first time since what seemed forever.
I was so relieved, that I slipped my hands on the nape of his neck and pulled him closer, hoping that we'd always have a moment like this.
"Boner?" I asked, confused.
Clair and I sat on my bed upstairs. She had come over to ask what happened, and I was relieved because I was still curious about Alex's reactions today. And when I asked her about his reaction she said he had a boner.
"Yes. Boner."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, first of all, you said he didn't touch you or anything?"
I shook my head. "I just stood there, took off my clothes, and stood there some more. And then... it was like someone punched him in the stomach. He told me to 'go' more than once. It felt like he wanted me to get away from him."
She smiled. "He must really like you."
"What? Why, how? Why do you think that?"
"Well, a boner is basically something that happens to a man when he gets excited. Just the fact that he hadn't touched you yet and was that attracted to you by you just revealing some skin, it would kind of mean that he has deep feelings for you. When any guy gets aroused, he'd start to become in a really obsessed mood for sex. Alex, being faithful to you, had told you to get away because if you didn't, he might have tried to convince you to have sex with him. So he demanded you become temporarily out of reach. In other words, he didn't want to lose you or your trust in him from just a moment of excitement"
