"I heard you and Knight in shining armor dated before. Deets please." Amanda, some pretty senior girl I had met only a little bit ago said as we sat on the lunch table together.
"We did." I said, not bothering to lie. "But that was a long time ago. We broke up."
"Aw, you guys would have looked so cute together. Why would you break up?" She didn't look like she meant what she said. I think she wanted him for herself more than anything.
"We had our differences, that's all."
Her right eyebrow went up as she smiled curtly. "Oh come on. We're good friends. Tell me, is it true that you cheated on him?"
I shook my head. She was starting to irritate me.
She shrugged. "Oh well, suit yourself. When you need that good friend to spill your heart out to, just ring me."
She grabbed a napkin and put her phone number on there.
Clair laughed and laughed and laughed when I told her what the girl said.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"Well, it's actually just funny because of how stupid it is."
"Remember sis, friends are not your family. Friends come and go, you fight and stab each other in the back, you spread rumors, you even use the trust you gave each other to bring the other person down any way you can. I'm not saying this always happen, but I'm being straightforward with you because it happened to me a couple of times. That's why I want you to be careful when choosing your friends. Be careful, count to ten, know what you'll say, and give true friendship it's time to show on its own. Before you know it, your high school experience becomes that much more amazing."
I don't like gym.
Well I do, but it was only until today that I realized that Alex had gym class with us.
So I don't like gym, and I don't like that I have to see everything that guys do since it's mixed.
I probably don't like a lot of things in gym too.
Like how out of nowhere, I see Triggy running toward Alex, and hugging him. Then standing on her tiptoes, presses her lips to his like love was her motto. I don't know...
But suddenly I don't feel so good.
I don't feel good at all.
I feel sick.
I hate it. I really do. I want to disappear. I didn't understand why I was so uneasy. I couldn't even take my eyes off of them. I watched her lips kiss his lips back and forth multiple times in a playful matter. I watched her hands slip inside the short sleeves of his shirt and move around his back. I watched as his big hands slip and cup her small little butt and press her body against him.
I watched as he glanced at me with that smirk on his face.
And now I don't feel good. I don't get it. I was the one who liked the idea of them getting together, why am I bothered by it now? Am I bothered by it? Or is this just the ending of the feelings I had for him? It's not jealousy, is it? It feels different than the first time Triggy showed up. Is it because I'm different now? I don't understand anything at all.
"Hey." I called over to the boy who was just talking to me minutes ago.
He glanced at me, threw the ball to one of his friends, and rushed over. "What's up?"
"Take me to the nurse's office?"
He smiled. "Sure."
I entwined my arm in his and let him lead the way. Inside my head, I kept on yelling at myself: what the hell am I doing right now?
