I honestly didn't know what I was expecting after that little unhappy moment with Alex, but I definitely wasn't expecting what was soon happening.
The rest of the day, where me and Alex would always find a way to see each other, either in the hallways or in the locker area, it was all Alex free. Where is Alex? I don't know. Did you see Alex? Yes, he was here, there, everywhere, but near me.
I tried to relax through the rest of my classes looking forward to seeing him where we usually meet at the baseball field. When school ended and I went looking for him, he wasn't there. I waited, but he didn't come.
I tried calling him a few times, but he never picked up, and that's when I went into utter panic.
Is this... Is this his way of breaking up with me?
No, he hadn't said anything about a break up in the detention room. He only insisted that he'd show me what a more understanding boyfriend would be. Is he trying to get back at me for stopping him from touching me? Is this his way of being more understanding?
The next day, I waited for him in the morning on the bench outside the school. We usually meet here to see each other first thing, and I had hope that he'd either have gotten over yesterday's anger, or at the very least see me and explain what was happening.
I perked up when I saw him walking over from the parking lot with a couple of his friends. He was smiling and being happy, which gave me a little faith in today. As I stood up and waved my hand happily, he completely ignored me and walked passed me.
I dropped my hand and smile, staring at his back with my heart racing in fear and pain. Alex... just ignored me.
I pressed my hand against my mouth to keep back from crying. Alex really, really did just ignore me and walk away. As if I wasn't here. Like I was nothing.
Why would he do that to me? Isn't he aware of how hurt I was? Did he not care if I got hurt or not?
I don't want this to happen to us. I don't want anything to happen to us. I... loved him. He protected me, listened to me, always took me as far as I would go, understood me, and kept me feeling safe and happy every minute I was with him.
That's love. I know that's love. I felt it.
For it to be taken away so easily like this.... I really don't want that...
For him to ignore me like this, it felt like someone wrapped a string around my heart and pulled at it, suffocating me... I wanted to vomit. I didn't want to go school anymore. I wanted to run away from it.
I made my way to first period, and just as I stepped inside the room, I froze in place and stared at the scene in front of me.
Alex stood there sitting on top of the table in the front of the room, two girls sitting on either side of him, with his arms drooping on top of their shoulders. A girl stood in front of him, smiling and flirting with him so easily, as if suddenly, Carly didn't exist anymore.
"God, your body is so hard. What is that, a six pack?" she asked, moving her hand down his chest to his abdomen.
No! He's my boyfriend! Stop touching him! Stop! Stop. Stop...
I stepped back out and went behind the wall, slipping to the floor and covering my face with my hand in disbelief and pain. My breath was literally choking in my throat. I couldn't utter a word from how speechless I was. I didn't know what to do—what was happening even. I just knew the unhappiness I was feeling right now was unbearable. I didn't want to feel it anymore.
