Chapter 54

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Time: To talk
Place: Avengers quinjet

Wanda had been sitting in Clint's arms, sobbing since she had gotten on the jet, seemingly overwhelmed by everything that had happened. The sobbing had continued for some time, but it suddenly escalated into gut-wrenching screams when Thor had carried Steve onto the jet. Steve's condition was critical nobody knew if he would even survive the ride back to the compound. Bruce was doing all he could but he was limited with the equipment he had available.

"Wanda you've got to take a breathe" Clint repeated for the third time.

"I can't..Clint I can't. My dad he-"

"Yes you can. Follow my breathing"

Wanda tried to mirror Clint's breathing the best she could while in the midst of her panic, and while it had helped her slightly, she was still feeling incredibly overwhelmed. She was in the throes of a panic attack, and every thing around her seemed to set off her already heightened nervous system. Her heartbeat felt dangerously fast, and she was unable to catch her breath, her lungs and throat tightening so much it felt like she was drowning.

Tommy could see that Wanda's fragile state seemed to be worsening, and he knew he had to do something. He stood up from his seat next to Yelena and walked over to Wanda, who was now curled up in a ball on the floor, her breath coming in short and panicked gasps. He gave Clint a small nod, indicating that he could let him step in. Clint was hesitant to let the boy step in, but he knew that his attempts to calm Wanda down weren't working so he let Tommy give it try.

"Wands?" The boy whispered quietly as he sat in-front of her, reaching out to hold her hand, she tensed at the contact for a split second but soon relaxed.

"Talk?" Wanda asked him. Wanda had her fair share of panic attacks in her time at the red room but hearing Tommy's voice always seemed to pull her out of it.

"You want me to talk? Well of course I would love to talk, I'm pretty good at talking Yelena says I talk too much but I think I talk just enough"

Wanda managed to let out a small chuckle at the boys rambling, her breathing slowly becoming more regular.

"I have terrible news actually, the paper this morning said that the cows may be going out of business. For real this time! I mean how sad is that, how will these cows provide for their baby cows if they're not making a living. I feel so bad for them" Tommy cried dramatically.

Wanda was able to let out a genuine laugh this time, Tommy's rambling had eased her mind just enough that she could take a moment to relax. She was still on the verge of spiraling back into panic, but she was calmer now, and it was because of him.

"Thank you" She whispered.

"Anytime" Tommy smiled before jumping up offering a hand to pull Wanda up.

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On the other side of the jet, Bruce was working diligently to identify what exactly Steve needed in order to prepare for his medical treatment once they arrived back at the compound. He was struggling to do so, however, as Nat was refusing to leave Steve's side. Her hand was still tightly clutching his, a silent sign of her immense grief over his current condition.

Natasha felt numb. It shouldn't have been Steve having to pay this price, she should've been the one instead. This was her mess, and yet somehow, she had managed to avoid even the slightest of injuries while Steve bore the worst of them. She had come to terms with the fact that she was dangerous, that she was a risk to those she loved,she had never wanted it to be this way. It was never intentional, but it was still her fault. It was because of her the girls were taken to the red room to begin with.
Steve nor the girls deserved this. They deserved so much better.

Bruce observed Natasha noticing how her hands were shaking, how her cheeks were streaked with tear stains, and how her eyes looked glassy and almost lifeless in the grip of her immense sorrow. Nobody had ever seen the Avengers' resident spy like this before. The pain she felt for what had happened to Steve and the girls was deeper than any other she'd ever experienced before, and it seemed to be taking away her will to fight, at least for the time being.

Bruce popped his head round the corner of the jet where the others were sitting as far away as possible trying to give Bruce the space he needed. "Bucky?"

Bucky's eyes instantly shifted towards Bruce when he heard him call his name. He looked at Bruce, his blue eyes gleaming with hope that he would have a positive update on Steve's condition. However, he was met with a rather grim response from Bruce, who shook his head slowly as he responded, "...I'm still trying to assess the situation but I need you to come and get Natasha please"

Bucky had been the one who Natasha had turned to in the past few weeks, the one she could depend on to listen to her, support her and lift her spirits in times of despair. He was someone that she trusted deeply, and he had been there for her in these dark moments, but now it was clear that he was also struggling with the same pain she was. Steve was fighting for his life and, beyond being her Boyfriend ,Steve was Bucky's lifelong best friend. The pain they both felt was immense, and neither knew exactly how to deal with it. Bucky took in Natasha's state as he examined her with concerned, worried eyes. Her hands trembled and her eyes were almost lifeless - a stark contrast to the fiery, confident woman he knew her to be. He no longer recognized her, she had become a fragment of her former self, broken and dispirited.At that moment, he knew that there was nothing he could say or do to ease the pain that they were grappling with.

"Tasha come on we need to let Bruce have his space" Buckys voice was gentle as he approached Natasha.

Natasha shook her head, she couldn't leave Steve like this. Deep down, Natasha understood that in order to give Bruce the space he needed to properly assess Steve's injuries, she would need to step away. However, she found herself unable to leave Steve's side, the guilt weighing heavily upon her as she remained glued to his side. It was a crippling weight for her to bear, yet she felt as if she had no choice but to cling to him. It seemed as if she was waiting for Steve to suddenly wake up and tell them all that he was okay. Of course, that was far from the case, and Nat knew it, but it didn't stop her from hoping that he would open his eyes in the next few minutes. She was grasping at straws, desperate for any sign from him that he would pull through.

"Please Tash" Bucky whispered his eyes pleading with her as she looked at him.

"I don't want to leave him Buck"

"I know but Bruce really needs some space and Wanda really needs her mom" Bucky told her truthfully.

"She doesn't need me Bucky. She hates me"

Bucky scoffed, "Wanda? No way, she's a Mamas girl. She does not hate you"

"She does. And I don't blame her, this is all my fault. The red room, Steve getting shot, it all happened because of me!"

When Bucky heard Natasha blaming herself for everything that had happened, something snapped inside him. He couldn't let her go down this path of self-destruction and torment, one that would end with her withdrawing from reality and damaging herself and her daughters even more than they already had been. He had promised Steve that he would always keep an eye on his girls when he wasn't around, and right now Steve wasn't, so it was Bucky's  responsibility to look after them. He gently dragged Natasha away from Steve's side in order to let Bruce have the space he needed.

"Bucky stop I need to be with him" Natasha tried to protest.

"No what you need to do is listen to me" Bucky told her, he was prepared to go full big brother mode if that what it took to make Natasha realize that it wasn't her fault and that instead of blaming herself she needed to look after herself so she could be there for the girls.

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A/N: I did not proof read so any mistakes I'm sorry😭
Thank you guys for reading🫡

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