Embracing the Troublemaker

Chapter Fourthy Nine

Jael's Point of View

Para akong binubuhusan nang napaka lamig na tubig habang naka tingin kay Ross na patuloy pa rin sa pag iyak. Naka luhod na ito habang hawak ang mga kamay ko. As if he was begging for his life.

"Am... I so hard to love?" he murmured. I shook my head immediately. "No! Hindi ka mahirap mahalin..."

And it was true. Hindi mahirap mahalin si Ross. He was the kindest person I'd ever meet. Oo, minsan masungit s'ya pero hinding hindi sya mahirap mahalin.

Kaya nga mahal ko s'ya...

Ngumiti nang malapad si Ross habang naka tingala saakin. "Ever since we were kids, all I ever wanted was to protect you..." hinawi nito ang buhok ko. "I love you so much, Jael. I want you to know that this man loves you deeply." " He looked very pale and scared, and a little...hopeful.

I sniffled. "I love you too, Ross..." I whispered back. "Mahal din kita."

Bakas ang pag ka gulat nito dahil sa kanyang ekspresyon. Nag hahalo ang gulat at takot pero nag uumapaw ang bakas nang saya.  I cupped both of his cheeks. "... And none of your scars can make me love you less."

Yes, he has a lot of flaws and bruises but they only made me want to care for him and love him even more.

"In this space we've created for each other, you can say anything, and I won't leave you. Show me the worst parts of yourself. Watch me hold them up to the light without flinching. Tears welled up in my eyes again. I really love this man.

"I will love you. I'll love you when you're at your weakest and when you're at your strongest. I'll love you when you're happy, and I'll love you even more when you're sad. I want to love every part of you. I want you with your imperfections as much as I want you for who you are. I will always want you."

"I'm not clean, Jael... I sabotage myself... I'm not mentally stable, y-you won't understand—"

I didn't let Ross finish speaking. I kissed his lips softly. "I don't care, Ross. I'll be here. We'll heal together, okay?" I wiped away his tears. "I'll love you for who you are. I'll be gentle with you; I'll live for you... I'll understand you in every way you need to be understood. I'll love every scar you have because they're a part of you, Ross. Your scars... they mean you've survived."

Our foreheads touched. His gaze was gentle, as if I were his reason for living. His eyes might not be the color of the ocean, but I drowned in them every time. This, this was my home.

"J-Jael..." he called out through tears. He nodded slightly as he placed gentle kisses on my hand. "I—I don't deserve you, but God... I want to. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you."

I cried even harder. I could see Ross's vulnerable side clearly now. Kahit ako, kahit ako rin hindi ko alam kung deserve ko ba si Ross pero gusto ko gawin ang lahat para maging deserving para sakanya. I gently touched his wrist. I drew stars on them.

"None of your scars can make me love you less. "I glanced at Ross' pulse. Sobrang daming linya na halos hindi ko na mabilang.

Every time I saw the scars on his wrist, the ones he tried to hide, I was haunted by the thought of how many times he had been alone. How many times he had fought the demons in his mind, how much more he feared living than dying.

"When life gets tough, I'll stay by your side, even in the dark. You can tell me everything,  and I'll still love you."

Ross trembled as he looked at me. I smiled in response as he wiped the tears from my eyes kahit na patuloy pa rin ako sa pag iyak.