A flame in the Storm

Chapter 6

I moved to a side on my bed and my hand went on Rizwan, he cuddled towards me and embraced my lips in a kiss. "Stop it!" I said smiling, giving him a soft push.

That's when my eyes grew wide open and I realized it was a dream.

"Shit!" I scolded myself out loud bringing my hands to my forehead, What was happening to me?

Getting up from the bed, I started pacing in my room in darkness,I can't think like this about a teacher. What will my parents say? What will my friends think about me? These thoughts scared me and I arrived at a decision to stop my tuition classes. It was the best solution to keep my distance from him. Day by day I was getting close to him the way I had never been with anyone before. I got to stop this. 

Next morning I went to mom and said that I have improved in mathematics and I don't need any further classes from Rizwan. Mom replied by saying  she will let me know after discussing with dad. I really prayed that they agreed. Dad talked to Rizwan after dropping me to school. He told him that I have improved enough and can do it on my own so I don't need any further classes. But Rizwan assured I need more guidance as I am good only in basics and my improvement would flatter if we didn't continue. Dad was convinced and my effort went in vain.

That evening I was ready with my books waiting for him in my living room. He just barged in and without saying anything asked me to open some chapter.

I did.

He was angry and hurt and made no effort to conceal it.

"What happened to you?" I asked." Why are you upset?"

"Why do you care?" He asked curtly and gave me another problem to solve. Am I the reason behind his anger?

"As matter of fact, I do. I am your friend. You only said that. You can share your problems with me "I said softly.

"I thought I was only your tuition teacher whom you can tell to stop coming whenever you feel like." he snapped. There was anger written all over his face.

I could not tell why I had asked dad to stop my classes. I can't reveal him my dark dreams. What would he think of me then? So I lied "I have become good enough in the subject and I thought I can do it myself."

"Do I mean anything to you?" He inquired with so much hurt in his voice and face that I had to look away. I never imagined he would be so hurt by my act.

"Were you not concerned that we would not be able to meet and talk this freely if I had stopped the classes?" he continued.

"We meet at school," I muttered shrugging. That was my plan, meet him in school and keep the relation in cordial terms, where I still would be his friend and at the same time, be at distance from him.

As a reflex he got up and barged out in the same way he had come in. It was not even fifteen minutes he had stayed.

I collected my books and went inside.

"Why he went so early? "Mom asked.

"He got an urgent call."I replied. The chain of lies had begun and I didn't know it would one day cost me my life.

I felt tired with all the things weighing on me.

Rizwan didn't come for tuition classes for four days. In school he never looked at me during the whole class. Not even during roll calls as it was his general practice. He behaved as if I didn't exist. I was growing restless by the day and one day decided to talk to him at any cost. He never lifted my calls or replied to my messages.

When he was walking through an empty corridor. Finding it  a perfect moment I called out his name from behind. He turned and saw me, then turned back and kept walking as if I was invisible. I ran catching up to him.

I came beside him and said "Rizwan". At this moment he looked me with bloodshot eyes as if I had committed a murder.

"Do you call your teacher with name?" He barked, "Where are your manners?"

I stood there startled. He was the one who had asked me to call by his name, now he was the one scolding me for it. As if I had done a crime.

"You are just my student,remember that." he said curtly and went away.

I could not stop the tears from flowing. What had I done? Why was he so angry on me?

"Maria" someone called out my name. I wiped my tears and found Uzma and Farha walking up to me.

"What happened?" They asked seeing my face.

"Nothing, just not feeling well" I replied.

"Okay. Take some rest in the common room". They said dragging me.

Two more days passed yet there was no sign of Rizwan. I missed our sessions. I wondered what reason he might have given dad as he was the person who insisted on continuing the classes.

The curiosity had better of me and I asked dad

"He is busy with some work it seems."Dad replied

I knew it was a lie. I was the reason he was not coming and that night my eyes cried so much that they would fill a pond. Determined to talk to him come what may I went to school next day. I didn't want our friendship ruined.

When I got a chance, seeing Farah and Uzma were busy I sneaked out of the class and went straight to the staff room, Rizwan was sitting alone correcting papers.

As I went near him, he looked up and asked in a flat tone, "What do you want?"

"I am sorry," I said stifling the choke raising in my throat.

"What for?" He asked feigning ignorance.

"I never thought you would be so hurt," I sobbed tears flowing down my cheeks, " I am sorry."

At this point his face changed from utter coldness to concern. He got up from his chair and hugged me. I froze.

That was my first embrace with a stranger. Dad was the only one who ever came that close to me. It felt awkward but I dared not push him away as I feared it would again hurt him. I didn't return his embrace nor did I move back. I just stood there silently looking down.

After a minute or two he left me and wiping my tears smiled at me saying

"I forgive you but never repeat that again."