Hard To Love

Chapter 4. Confrontation

Nathan's POV

I tosed the ball to one of the guys and ran to the other side of the court. I'm not really into Basketball in general but I felt like playing today.

My gaze kept returning to the spot where James came from a few minutes ago though.

There was his sister, a girl I didn't know and... her.

Emma Greene.

Only her name got me irritated.

I never thought I'd see Emma again, and yet here she is.

I looked over at her, she was writing something down while Stella and the other girl were talking.

Now that I know who she is I can see the resemblance with the 10 year old I knew. She's changed but so have I, that's probably why she didn't recognize me.

But she's still her, the girl that I would play with back to when we were kids. Her hair is longer and a darker shade of blonde that suits her and from what I remember from our short encounter a few days ago her eyes still are that beautiful green color.

No. I did not just go there.

I felt the ball hit the back of my head making me snap out of my thoughts.

I turned around glaring at James "What the hell man?" I rubbed the back of my head.

"You ask me?" he said "What's up with you? You were free and you missed the ball."

"Nothing, I'm fine, let's play."

He tossed the ball at me. "Try not to suck too much"

I rolled my eyes at him.

Truth is I've been distracted. I haven't been myself but most importantly I've been mad.

She looked awfully familiar when I spotted her at the mall, but when she told me her name that day at the gym, I didn't know how to proccess it and I've been on edge ever since just because I don't know whether I want her back in my life or out of it for good.

*Flashback*

Not many people came here at this time and that's why I liked this place. Today was my father's death anniversary and I needed to get the tension out. There's only one way for me to do it. Boxing.
Since I couldn't actually participate in a boxing match right in the middle of the day, I settled for a punching bag. I put on my gloves and started letting all my feelings out on the punching bag. It's what I do.

It's been 5 years and I still can't get over the fact that he's gone.

I can't go home. Mom will want to come and see me. I really can't. I know she'll need me but I can't be strong, not today.

My mom lives in the same city but I've moved out of our place and I have an appartment of my own. I don't want her to worry about me when I come home late and beaten up. She doesn't deserve it.

But I do. I've choosen this as my way out and I don't always win when fighting. And to be honest I'm fine with it. Getting beaten up sometimes helps the emotional gap in me get temporary filled with pain.

Mom handles grief differently. Ever since my father died, mom has created a foundation that helps people with Cancer. It's all she does; help other people. But I'm not her. When my father passed away I kept to myself. The only people I'd be okay with were my mom and later, at the senior year of high school, James. Those are the people I care about. I talk with people yes, but my circle of those I trust is very small. You could say I'm moody with all the other people expect the ones really close to me.