Hard To Love

Chapter 5. Disappointment

Emma's POV

I never thought Nate would come back into my life. At least not like that. Not with me calling him a dick and not with him making it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. It wasn't supposed to be like that.
I may seem like a complete bitch sometimes, but that doens't mean that I have no feelings. I'm just really good at concealing them. I mean, acting like a bitch is a part of me, just not the biggest one.

All my memories from my life in Boston are associatied with Nate and Charlotte. How could he think I could ever forget? I tried, especially when me and Charlotte stopped talking but I couldn't. It's hard to shake off all the memories.

I never did.

Throughout the years Nate would cross my mind every now and then. When I'd watch old videos and come across old pictures or when I'd catch an old movie that his dad was in, or even at random times.
Whenever I thought about him there would be a smile on my face and a certain warmth in my heart. I always had that image in my head that when me and Nate saw eachother all we'd want to do was catch up and talk for hours, but that's obviously not what the big boss up here had in mind.
And that's exactly why I try to be realistic and not have fantasies that are most likely to fail.

Nate had been the guy I had a crush on since we became friends in first grade (He was in 2nd but what can I say? I like older guys.) I had a crush on him since that first day and as expected, no one forgets their first crush.

But I was gone for 8 years and I have absolutelly no idea who the person in front of me was. He really didn't remind me of my friend. His big brown eyes that would always light up when he'd see me, moments ago looked at me with nothing but anger in them. His hair still had that golden brown shade and he was a lot taller than me. His body... well let's just say he's not a kid anymore and leave it at that, because I'm supposed to be mad at him and not drooling over his abs.

But Nate, well Nathan, was right. We're not kids anymore. It was naive of me to think that if I ever saw him again we could be friends. It was absolutelly stupid and that's why I don't like having expectations about anything. We're not 10 year olds.
I guess sometimes things just don't work out the way you thought they would.

It didn't take a genious to understand why he's mad at me though. I'm blonde, not dumb.
I mean I can figure out why he's mad for the most part...He could also have turned into a walking dick though, who knows.

But I do know that he's mad that I never showed up at his father's funeral, that I never called or wrote, or did anything so show that I care. And you know what? He's right. I should have insisted on travelling with my mom or at least called. But he's wrong about one thing, I never forgot.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"God dammit Demi. You scared the bejesus out of me" I said placing my hand on my chest to slow down my fast beating heart.

"Sorry" She apologized getting away from the wall she was leaning on and walking to me "But seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Emma!" she said glaring at me "I won't ask again. What the hell is going on with you?"

I sighed "Can we like, go somewhere else? Grab a coffee or something to eat? I wanna get out of here"

Her expression softened "Sure, come on. Let's go get my car" she motioned for me to follow her.

~~

"So you're gonna tell me what's wrong now or what?" She asked when we took our seats at Starbucks.

"Dems, just drop it" I said trying to smile a bit "It's nothing important"

"I won't drop it. One minute you're fine, then ask about a random guy and the take off only to come out of a building a while later looking like you've been struck by a lightning"