Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

Aristotle, Harambe, and Tit Hairs

In case may adbots na curious kung bakit nawala ako for a year or so, it's because real life got in the way. Usually this is supposed to imply na nagkaroon na ako ng love life or nag-join ako ng organization ng ascetics or Christian fundamentalists or a #JusticeForHarambe support group, but that's not the case.

Nope, not even close! Life was shit. While it may be argued that I should shank myself with a candy shiv for never being satisfied... well, uh, you may actually be right. No excuse for self-absorbed banter. Then again, I don't know if anyone actually believes in absolute satisfaction with regard to this plane of existence – it's a relief that most of us have the privilege to distract ourselves from the melancholia of life with things such as food, friends, videos of cats on Facebook, videos of cats eating food (shared by friends on Facebook), band-aid first-world self-care advice, antidepressants, and maybe love. (That didn't help much for me this year, sorry.) I may or may not have had too much of Nihilist Memes in my feed the past few months.

I could say my brain's "what a beautiful way to die" button jammed itself into its panel. Forever. Maybe the bright side of getting into another campus is that I finally have the language to articulate my own cluelessness. Hooray!

Now, to muster up the courage in a time when I can Never Finishing Anyth

[A/N: Pictures on Wattpad? Holy Sh*t.]

On the topic of the sadboi/sadgirl negative feedback loop that people seem to be enjoying nowadays, naalala ko lang 'yung scene sa Orange is the New Black wherein sinuway ni Nicky Nichols si Miss Rosa for plucking tit hair niya in their shared room instead of the CR, tapos sinumbatan lang ni Miss Rosa si Nicky ng "I got cancer!" Eventually, hinayaan lang siyang magpatuloy sa pag-pluck. Ang point dito, wala naman akong cancer (uhh, I guess...) so I'm in no position to commit a similar appeal to pity fallacy.

[A/N: Some meta on the topic of fallacies: People quickly pointed out that Aristotle was in no place to put forward such claims due to his own shortcomings – a generous amount of it. He was criticized by modern thinkers for endorsing slavery and entertaining "certain misguided notions about the proper place of women" (Machan, 2010) but others defended him on the basis of historical context. To paraphrase cooking show host Judy King, people were allowed to be morons until the '80s. Kind of hard to step out of the vile status quo raw... photo taken from NЕЕMЕMЕS.]

While I'm enjoying how the whole shebang got us to embrace the bleakness while finding solace in similar minds, I sometimes notice how staying in the realm of post-emo defeatism too long can go well out of hand. Not that I can get out of there out of my own volition anyway.

As of this writing, I have a month to get my shit together. While sleeping in and being passive is fun, I still have an existence to uphold. Am I fucked? Fuckin' probably. Am I even fit to go back to school? Who the fuck knows?! I might finally wake up early, I might finish what I started. At least napalamanan na itong journal na 'to. Wattpad is Gardenia at ako ang expired cream cheese. I'm too anxious to maintain a healthy social life, gumewang ang sense of #wokeness ko dahil ang dami kong nakasalamuhang reactionary na mas magaling mag-argue kaysa sa akin (I still dislike reactionary behavior though, kailangan ko lang talaga ng debating skills), someone broke into our house, nag-shift nanaman ako sa ibang program, nagkaroon ako ng bagong crush. I apologize for the hullabaloo, but I have nowhere else to put this shit but, uh, Wattpad. Got me thinking "Maybe I'm the only one who can fix this..." and it's a huge responsibility, no doubt.

I have to get back on track, because giving up is not an option anymore. [Sunk-cost fallacy.]

This is Unprettier, back in black. And as they say... nobody asks to be born?

--x--

* Additionally, wala rin palang Google noon, so Aristotle likely died thinking that women have fewer teeth than men. If only there was such a thing as making his wife open her mouth for him. Considering, of course, that no ancient Greek rule prevented him from doing so.