Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

Zoonomia

Wala naman gaanong ganap. I got to talk to a psychiatrist a few days ago and she said I need to lighten up. Madrama pala ang buhay ko, but I digress...

I still carry a huge chip on my shoulder. But I feel better now. Kind of.

I love my friends, old and otherwise. However, today I'll talk about the new ones. They say na kapag iilang buwan pa lang kayo magkakilala, hindi mo pa alam ang tinatago nilang bantot—literally and figuratively, but meh. Lahat naman tayo may mga sikreto. I've been very open to them about my imperfections and occasional attitude problems, better to give them a warning beforehand kaysa naman magulat sila kapag sumisigaw na ako't sumisipa ng upuan sa classroom dahil doon ko lang nailalabas lahat ng childish tantrums na hindi ko nagawa noong bata ako.

Truth be told, I do have a lot of doubts—they're too good for me, they actually hate me, they befriended me out of pity, and so forth. They say I need to take those thoughts, handsomely sprinkle it with copious amounts of sriracha and gunpowder, and throw it down the burning river of irrelevant shit.

Hindi ako sanay sa mabait. Of course mabait ang mga kaibigan ko noong high school, but dude. It's been a month yet wala pa akong ill intentions towards anyone (except siguro 'yung mga kumakanta sa shared bathroom ng dorm). Ano'ng nangyayari? Dapat nag-give in na ako sa cultural shock at paranoia, but no. I'm... okay? Here's to a great year. Sana magpatuloy pa ang good vibes.

And I quote:

I don't like this feeling but it has made a home in my skin and it won't leave.

Maybe it's indigestion.

—x—