Choosing to leave

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I sit on my bed throwing a tennis ball at the wall and think. They have no idea who I'll pick and honestly neither do I. Xan's nice and all I know he can protect me and all but I really care about Sateru. They gave me a guardian, they made me a perfect mate and now I'm just confused. Sateru captivated me from the moment I saw him and I don't know what it is about him but he is my perfect just like how Xan is. He's a light creator and he's tainted like a mother but I don't know if I'll be able to just give him away. I can't taint Xan but do I want to have a kid with him? I mean that's all they care about, they would have let Lucius have his way with me if Sateru hadn't stepped in.

Sometimes I really hate the Makers, they really don't leave some people with a choice. I mean honestly they force some of our paths and make people for us or people who have do to this or that in our life, our fates majorly screwed up because they don't care about the outcome of what they do to us. That's another issue with Sateru and what happened with Aiden. Honestly I feel like running for good and getting out of all of this and staying out of all of this too. Seriously I don't know why I don't just say screw it and start my own destiny, have my kids with whom ever I  pick not who they want me to. They technically made two people for me and I think its time to leave.

My choice is to leave.  I'm going to fine Than, that's what I'm going to do, fine my protector and find away out of all of this or at least try to find a way out of all of this actually no, let Than have his destiny I shall go alone and see were my life leads for myself throwing away everyone they've put in my path well maybe not everybody because some I think I need so my finally decision is to run away with Caden, I mean a while ago he did ask me to marry him...

Sneaking out of my room in order to dodge Xan and everyone else I sneak to Cadens room and I lay on his bed and glance around the room. He's been packing and I guess he was going to leave when I made my choice and not stick around to see the woman he loves get married. Not that I blame him I don't imagine any of the guys would have gone to my marriage ceremony except the one I picked to marry.

He comes in after twenty minutes of second guessing myself and he grins. "I'm getting out of here Caden and your coming with me. Pack your weapons only and maybe some cloths and things you need but besides that leave it. If we ever come back it'll be here waiting. Hurry up were sneaking away in twenty". I rise and leave his room to pack what I want. I'd have to be crazy to think I could escape out makers but good luck getting a hold of me.

Once I reach my room I pull out two duffle bags and fill them with my weapons and put some more all over my body. I pull out two more and fill one and a half with cloths the other half are for pictures, letter and such I can't quit e get myself to leave behind. Once finished I scan my cloths and change into hunting gear before texting Caden, destroying my phone and jumping off the balcony and running to my car. He quickly gets in an we drive away...

I make my own decisions, this is MY life.

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