Cut And Dried

Fete'd

Brent

I was really angry with Christine, I had given her a phone so we could stay in touch and here I was in LA trying to reach her and she wasn't answering her damn phone as it was switched off.

Blasted infuriating woman, how could such a female get to me and drive me insane with desire and the need to knock some sense into her at the same time.

Since being back in Hollywood I couldn't get the flaming woman out of my mind, I shouldn't have carried on with the bet and let her out as soon as she bought it up, but there was a growing part of me that didn't want her gone, I needed her around and the feeling was ever so strong now we were thousands of miles apart.

Just as I was getting all sentimental and slushy, Debbie came waltzing in.

"Brent you should have made what's her name come here, there are fantastic opportunities to show the world you have changed, two Hollywood bashes, a premiere plus a charity ball, you could have been seen with her at all these"

I was thinking the same thing myself.

"Debbie you know she's her own woman and I can't get her to come if she doesn't want to"

"Well can't you kidnap her or something"

"Oh yer great idea, I can see the headlines now Brent Simons kidnaps pretend girlfriend, that'll show the world I'm a one woman man"

"Well at the moment they think you have split up , Chrissie's declaration that things had heated up between you helped, but her not being here doesn't, you need to get her here somehow"

"Alright I'll see what I can do okay? now quit going on about it"

************************

Chrissie

I stopped in mid cut with one hand holding Hillary Danforth's hair the other open scissors.

"You want me to open the girl guides fete on Saturday, why me?"

"Well" she dragged out "When we put it to a vote at our meeting the girls voted unanimously for you and they would be really be over the moon if you agreed, please"

Talk about peer pressure sheesh.

"Umm well if your sure you want me to"

"You will, oh thank you, thank you, the girls will be so please we've got a real celebrity to open the fete" she said squeezing my hand.

Real celebrity what planet is she from I wonder.

"Do you think you could make it for 2 o'clock on Saturday?"

"Yer sure I'll be there"

After Mrs Danforth left it was back to my non regulars, the fan girls apparently, or so Sonia Roberts called them.

As the week rolled on with my ever present fan girls keeping me gainfully employed and with the press gauntlet every morning and night, held at bay by the BFG and Lisa, I got in a sort of routine and was comfortable with it.

But nothing prepared me for the fete on Saturday, hell no!

Saturday afternoon and one o'clock rolled round to quickly, Gavin, Lisa and myself sauntered down New Road to the playing field where the fete was being held, I thought it best to arrive early so to avoid any crowds.

When we reached the entrance to the field, I was greeted like a celebrity by the dignatries present, if everyone wasn't so serious about the whole thing, I would have cracked up at being treated as a special guest, because I sure as hell had no idea how to act like one.

I had asked Mandy and Jasper for help and they provided me with an opening speech, for which I was eternally grateful.

I had originally though small town fete, a hundred people, but sitting on the make shift stage waiting the appointed time, I could clearly see people streaming in from the New Road and Recreation Road entrances heading towards the stage.

So my prayers were not answered, no torrential downpour, no total eclipse, power cut, outbreak of measles, nope my hundred was now bordering a thousand.

As two o'clock rolled round, Mrs Danforth approached the microphone and called the crowd to order, where she spoke at some length about the fete and how much they wanted to raise and what they were going to spend it on.

Eventually, with her marathon speech finished and the crowd were waking up again, she got to the bit I was dreading.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been waiting for"

I hadn't, trust me.

"I would like to introduce our very special guest, who will open the proceedings, our very own Miss Christine Wallace"

Standing and making my way to the microphone, shaking like a leaf, I was surrounded by an enthusiastic shouting, whistling and clapping crowd.

Holding my speech firmly in my hand, I started to speak, it took me three attempts to speak English and not gibberish, you know what it's like you can practice for days and hours in front of a mirror, but a mirror doesn't scare me shitless, like a mass of people staring at me do.

As I progressed through my written words the crowd became more excited, heaven knows why and as I finished the crowd went wild.

Then Mrs Danforth announced I would be willing to sign a few autographs and pose for photos, which I thought was bizzare as I had only been asked once for my autograph. However today everyone there wanted a piece of me either to sign something or the press wanting photos or an interview and soon the crowd turned in to a mob and charged the stage climbing on it from anywhere they could get a hand hold.

There were so many cramming on the stage that Lisa and Gavin couldn't control the situation, as I was signing for all I was worth, I was getting pushed further back and away from my protection.

When suddenly there was a loud crack and splintering noise and the stage where I was standing gave way causing me to fall backwards off the stage to the ground five feet below, hitting my head on the concrete so hard, I could literally see stars.

But the worst was yet to come as the people who had been crowding me on the stage, now tumbled off it straight on to me.

I felt excruciating pain all over my body before everything went fuzzy, I remember Gavin lifting me up, being in an ambulance and a guy saying hello Miss Wallace I am Dr Grahame, I will be taking care of you.

And that was it lights out.