From Here On Out

twenty two

"Gonna lay down beside you, Gonna lay down my gun"

Present Day

"We had one."

The words first made them happy, anxious even. But then realizing that he said had, crushes all their rising hope.

"What do you mean had?" Tris asks the doctor sitting across from them.

This was the first real appointment Tobias had taken her to, after her meltdown earlier in the week he thought she deserved to be involved in meetings like these.

The doctor whose office has certificates and records of his work lining his walls sighs, "We had a donor come in, and Tobias was eligible to receive this one. Somehow we were able to get him out of the middle of the line, to get this one."

"This sounds like good news, so I'm confused." She can feel Tobias rest a hand on her thigh. Telling her to just breathe.

"Well," The doctor begins looking at the two sitting in front of him. "the man had undiscovered cancer on his own. Which then means we can't use his."

Although she knew it was coming, seconds away... her heart still dropped.

"What does that mean for moving forward?"

"Tobias is still on the list, and now it's really a waiting list."

Tris runs a hand through her hair, what she wants to say is that Tobias is basically a ticking time bomb, and they just want them to sit around waiting.

"Tobias I have to ask you again, are you sure that there is no family that you can call? Get tested??"

Tobias shakes his head, seeing the disappointment even his doctors eyes as well as his girlfriends. Not disappointment in him, but in the situation.

After minutes, they are done with their meeting. And the car ride is as silent as expected.

"Sometimes I wonder what would happen if my father was still alive." Tobias speaks up, echoing in the car.

Tris leans back into her seat, "What do you mean?"

"If he was still alive, if he'd get tested. If he was a match, if he'd try to help me."

Tris nods, "Do you think he would help you?"

She's genuinely asking, not trying to rub in that his father was not the most... father like.

"I don't know."

Tobias hadn't talked about his father much,  not only just since he passed but from years back. He'd come up, but it wasn't something he'd freely talk about.

Getting home, the feeling between them is different. Quiet, uncomfortable, distant. It's almost as if one of them gets close to the other, they'll separate like a magnet hitting the same pole. Repelling the other, as they try to help.

The rest of the day passes them by, as the sun fades into the moon and the stars line the sky.

Tris lays curled up in bed, reading as Tobias paces in the living room. He's not necessarily waiting for anything, but stressing about everything.

The light comes in from the porch lights, and the dimmers in the kitchen. Providing him light but not enough to keep Tris up if she falls asleep.

Walking around the room, a knock at the door makes him break from his thoughts and go answer it.

And if his anxiety wasn't already bad... this person wouldn't help it.

The woman who stands before him has dark brown hair, curled to her shoulders. She's like a vision from a reoccurring dream, one he'd play over and over from time to time.