From Here On Out

thirty nine

"You are in every breath I breathe,"

Two Years Ago

As she tossed another thing of his into the box to get rid of, it felt as if she was losing parts of herself. Like his shirts with his scent, or the pictures with his beautiful face were taking her down with them. Destroying any part of her that was left standing.

"That one done?" Tris turns to see her brother standing in the doorway, looking between her and the second box on the bed.

"Yeah," She whispers, turning back to where she was looking to before.

A single picture frame still hanging on the wall, the picture captured a moment between the two of them. Early on in their relationship, but one that screamed the meaning of love.

"You're better off without him, Beatrice." Caleb says, walking up behind his sister and rests a hand on her shoulder.

Tris turns her head slightly, "Am I?"

Caleb sighs at her.

"I've seen all the pain he's put you through, why can't you?"

Tris turns all the way now, and without missing a beat responds. "Because I love him."

Tris turns back and looks at the picture hanging one last time, she hears Caleb's footsteps leaving the room, but stays in place.

"Because I love him." Tris whispers to herself, looking at the man in the picture that she once knew. 

"Because I love him."

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Present Day

The main room and backyard where the wedding would be taking place in just two hours, was beginning to fill with guests.

Walking through on his way to the room Tobias was allowed in so he wouldn't be able to bump into Tris, he was beginning to feel anxious by the realness of it all.

"Today's the big day huh, how you feeling?" Zeke asks him as he reaches the room.

"Overwhelmed. Lot more people out there than I thought." He mumbles, and Zeke can tell there's something off with him.

"Maybe you need some fresh air before we get you stuffed into this tux of yours." Zeke suggests, trying to lighten his mood.

Tobias just nods, distracted by the thoughts in his head.

"What I really need is to see Tris." Tobias tells his best man.

"You will soon, but Shauna will have my head if you see her any sooner." Zeke jokes, and Tobias sends him a failed smile.

"I'm going to get some air." Tobias decides and walks out of the room, out of the house... and down to his parked truck.

Getting in, he sits there. Staring at the house, watching guests go in, and knowing Tris is there somewhere getting all ready. But he's already pulling out of the driveway before he can stop himself.

Like Tobias, Tris feels anxious herself as she stares back at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair pulled up, her make up done and all that's left is the dress.

She sees the door open in the reflection and close, her brother walking in. Dressed in a nice blue suit, he smiles at his sister.

"How are you doing?" He asks her, and she gets up from where she was sitting.

"Nervous, but excited."

Caleb nods, and Tris can see the opposite thoughts spinning like a wheel in his head.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing, I'm excited for you."

Tris laughs, "You're a terrible liar Caleb."

Tris watches her brother sigh, "You know how I feel about him Beatrice. You deserve better."

"You're about to marry an alcoholic, a man whose put you through so much pain." Caleb tells her.

"It's like your addicted to the pain he puts you through."

That's what makes Tris scoff and stop him before he can upset her more.

"You have no right to say that to me Caleb, especially not today."

"He's hurt me in the past, he's a recovering alcoholic, but the biggest part you're missing is that he's the love of my life."

Tris shakes her head in disbelief  at her brother, "I go back to him because no matter where life takes us, we're always going to end up with each other."

"You remember when you asked me once why I couldn't see the pain he put me through?" Tris asks and watches Caleb nod.

"I love him. That's what heals the pain and mistakes of the past."

"I want you to be here Caleb, you're my brother. But if you can't be here with a bit of love and understanding for me and Tobias... than I don't think you should be here."

Caleb's eyes widen at his sister, taken a back by this.

Turning away from him, Tris goes back to where she was sitting. The room silent with a black cloud looming over them, until the door opens and Zeke walks in.

"Zeke? Shouldn't you be with Tobias, getting ready?" Tris asks, getting up confused as to why he's here with her right now.

"That's what I need to talk to you about Tris," Zeke sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. "Tobias came in to get ready but he was off, mumbling and shaky. I told him to get some air because he said he was overwhelmed."

"Okay?" Tris asks, following everything he's saying to her.

"But I went to check on him, and he's not here. His trucks gone Tris, and I don't know where he is. He won't answer his phone."

Tris's eyes widen, and what makes this whole situation worse is that her brother still stands in the room. And she can feel the 'I told you so' burning into her.

A/N: I don't know how well written this one is, it feels kind of choppy at parts. But I hope the story line is still there and good enough.