From Here On Out

twenty four

"Sometimes my fingers, They can lose touch, Start letting go of everything I love"

Present Day

Tris sat there, waiting in an uncomfortable hospital chair. Hour after hour, just waiting for anything.

Zeke came by, stayed for a few hours till he had to leave. And then once again, Tris was alone and waiting.

"Tris," A hand on her shoulder breaks her from her tired long thoughts. "May I talk to you in a more private place?"

She sits in the waiting room, only a few other people around yet still privacy with his doctor would be nice.

She stands instantly, "Yes."

The doctor dressed in his white coat instead of coming out and saying 'he's fine' or 'he'll be awake soon' leads her to what seems to be his office so they can speak.

Making fear grow inside of her, burning her up.

"I have some bad news." His doctor finally says as the door is shut and Tris has sat down.

Her face drops and feels like she's going to be sick.

"No, ple--" She begins to say, as tears threaten to spill out of her eyes.

"Tris, Tobias. He's fine. We were able to get the procedure done, and he's in recovery right now. He's going to be fine."

That's when her heart begins to beat right again, the relief hitting her like a wave. A big crashing wave.

"Then what's the news??" She asks after a second of composure.

The doctor looks to her with a face of compassion, "Evelyn, I'm afraid didn't make it. There were some complications with the surgery and she--"

"Oh my god." Tris covers her mouth with her hand. She didn't know the woman very well, at all really. But she was Tobias's mother, and just got back into his life. To help him... and now she's truly gone.

"Have you told him?"

"No," The doctor says. "he's still waking up, and I figured he'd want to see you first."

Tris nods, "Can I see him?"

"Sure."

Walking down the halls with him, Tris feels anxious to see him. Just need to see him now, alive. But she can't help feel a heavy cloud hanging over her as she knows she has to break to him that his mother didn't make it.

"I was scared," She admits, looking into his blue eyes. The ones she thought she'd almost never see again. "really scared."

"Me too baby," Tobias says, caressing her cheek with his thumb. The soft movements calming her. "but I'm okay. See I'm right here."

After kissing her softly, Tobias leans back in the bed. "We should see when Evelyn wakes up, I want to see her and thank her again."

Tris inhales sharply, knowing that this is the moment she was dreading to come.

"Tobias," She whispers, looking at his brightening face. Knowing that it'll soon go dim. "Evelyn, she--"

Tris closes her eyes just to get the last few words out, "There was a problem with the surgery and she didn't make it."

Opening them, she opens just to see him break.

The look of shock, then realization that it's really happening, then comes the overwhelming sadness of loss. All going one after another like a slideshow on his face.

"I'm so sorry Tobias I--" Taking Tris into his arms, he cries.

For so many things, he cries. The stress of a major surgery still fading, and the fear of almost losing Tris. But now he cries for the real loss of his mother as well.

"All these years," He pulls back, looking at the IV sticking in his hand. "I thought of the possibility that she was dead. And now--" Shaking his head, Tris watches him just go through the motions.

Unable to do anything but watch, and comfort all she can.

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A Year and A Half Ago

She could tell he wanted to cry, let everything he was fighting in his mind just come out. But he kept holding back, for what reason she didn't know.

"Tobias," Resting a hand on his shoulder, making him lift his head. "you know you can cry right?"

Tobias makes a grunt in response, feeling a wave of embarrassment now.

"I'm serious," Tris says, wrapping an arm around his arm. Feeling his muscles tense under her touch. "you have to let yourself feel it. You have to allow yourself to have moments of just complete breaking. It's how it goes."

Tobias shakes his head, relaxing a bit as she still holds him.

"I'm supposed to be all put together though, and I'm not. In any sense."

Tris knew what he meant, even when his voice broke and made his words seem tired and dragging.

"It's okay to not be from time to time."

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Present Day

He lied in bed, the dark shade of blue in the quilt wrapped around him only showing more so how he was feeling. How lost he was in his own mind.

Tris stood in the doorway for a while, just looking at him. An arm tucked under his head for a pillow as he stayed still on his side. The room was quiet, lonely.

Walking in, the bed moves just a tad as Tris climbs up onto the mattress. Resting her head against Tobias's and wrapping her arm around him. Holding him close, he melts into that touch.

The feeling of warmth in the cold she's able to provide him, comfort in times like these.

She doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to. He doesn't say anything either, Tris already knows.

A/N: This chapter for some reason was harder for me to write, just had some trouble getting the words how I wanted them. So hopefully this isn't as bad as I think it may be.