From Here On Out

thirty one

"I've seen the devil inside me, But I won't let him guide me"

Present Day-- Two Month Time Lapse

A day felt like forever, then a week felt like a single day, but as it turned to months the time began to fall back into normalcy. Not another word was exchanged between the two of them, since that night he showed up and they poured out the hurt they both felt inside.

Tobias turned to his music to drown the hours and soon the days he felt lost. Fighting the times all he wanted to do was drink, but he was determined to go through this pain sober.

Tris buried herself with work, spending as much time as she could at the store and not alone in that house. The house he had built for both of them, the home that was intended for them both to live in.

Two months passed them by, the snow melting and simple signs of spring blooming around them. From the buds on the trees, to the simple melodies of the returning birds. The river that could be overlooked from their spot on the bridge soon became flowing again. As the ice melted away in the warming atmosphere, but no one was there to see it.

Tris had replayed scenarios in her mind since that day, whether she never called off that wedding. She wondered if she could be happily married right now and not having to relieve a painful memory. But over and over again she knows that this had to happen. This secret of hers, wasn't hers to keep. It had to be let out and told, to the one person who deserved to know about it the most.

The first week for Tobias was filled with anger, and the feeling of betrayal. The trust he put in her, somehow vanished. Completely. But by the second week, that anger had turned to hurt, and that feeling of betrayal was more in the form of pain. For both of them, those words she said back at the house whispering in his head.

"I wanted to be your wife."

She said it was such certainty that it made him feel another part of his heart break.

"And I'm sure you resent the hell out of me for that, but I can tell you right now that I resented you more when I had to make that decision, for putting me in that position in the first place."

All this time he was blaming every part of Tris for this, when he should've taken a moment-- even just a second-- to think back and see how he was when she found out. Where he was, what his life had turned out to be.

And that's when he realized, that maybe... just maybe, she saved him from making an even bigger mistake in life.

Not being there for his son or daughter.

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A Year Ago

He watched from the glass window of the lobby, the car she drove drive away.

Trying to catch one last glimpse at the person who was giving him motivation to be here, to get himself pulled together. For real this time.

He knew something had changed when he said goodbye to her in the car, her voice was harder. More distant than it had in the past, and there was a part of that that made him nervous. It was only a matter of time he know, that he's lose her. He was just hoping this wasn't that moment.

Tris barely looked him in the eye as he whisper goodbyes to her. And the kiss he gave to her, was never reciprocated. She was as if a chilled statue, immune to the feeling now of him being here.

He hated how she knew the directions by heart, and how she knew exactly what to have packed for him. He didn't like that she knew all this without having to check a form or a map, that she just knew  It only made the guilt he felt increase.

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Present Day 

Night fell again onto the early March day, and for the both of them nights were the worst.

When they were left to drown in their thoughts, their emotions, their demons in the dark. When tears could slip from his eyes and he'd know no different as no one could see them in the darkness. When her hand stretched across the mattress only to find an cold and empty spot that should be taken by him.

Drying her hands on a kitchen towel, finishing washing the dishes as there was a knock on the door. She had not a clue who would show up at quarter to midnight, but maybe she should've deep down.

Because opening it up, Tobias stood there before her. Making her heart race, and her mouth to suddenly go dry.

He was dressed in a pair of wrinkled jeans and a grey hoodie she had worn on more than one occasion. His hair was disheveled and the bags under his eyes screamed for sleep.

"Tobias," Was all she could muster out, still taken back to see him here. She was convinced she wouldn't see him again, unless she were the one to show up at his place. "what are-- what are you doing here?"

She doesn't know why that's the thing she asks, but it's out there and he answers.

"I told you, and I told myself that I was never going to forgive you for not telling me about this a year ago, and I'm not," Tobias looks up from the gaze he had on the wood porch he stands, and looks her in the eyes now. "because that would mean you did something wrong."

Tris was wondering where he was going with all this, when he pointed out again that he couldn't give her forgiveness. But now that he says that, makes her have to blink away the stinging tears collecting in her eyes.

"You didn't," Tobias tells her, looking no where but her. Shaking his head letting her know that he's serious, that she can believe him when he says this. "you were protecting not only your heart, but that baby's. If you would've told me, and had our child.."

Tobias shakes his head, biting his lip. "I would've been a terrible father then, and I would've let that child down. And you couldn't let me do that."

Tris cries now, as Tobias can feel his own tears backing up in his throat.

"Some people look out for others best interests above their own, and they don't intend to harm you... they just... they're trying to make the best of a bad situation."

"I finally get that," Tobias admits to her, after months of finally figuring it out. "I gave you more hell about it then I should've. And I'm sorry."

Tris takes the apology and makes it her own, hearing him say those words she can feel in her heart that it isn't just for this. But for the past, and for all the mistakes that caused her pain.

"I can't tell you how sorr--" She isn't able to express her feeling as Tobias moves forward pressing his lips to hers.

It's a spontaneous move, one he hadn't planned to make when he came out here. But one they knew they both needed the moment their lips touched.

That night, the first in two months and the first in a long time, the pain and the hurt they endured together was soon mended. By each other.

Every touch, gentler and more loving than the last.

Every kiss, more passionate and fiery than ones they'd shared in their past.

And every piece of their broken hearts were sewn back together through love and forgiveness.

A/N: A longer one, really love the writing I did in this chapter. Hope you like it!